These days people pay more attention to artists (writers, painters, and so on)

These days people pay more attention to artists (writers, painters, and so on) and give less importance to science and technology.
To what extent do u agree or disagree?

People start following artists like writers, painters or actors because are popular. Although sciences and technologies were able to reach important milestones over the last two decades. Likewise, they have famous people. I disagree that science and technologies are treated as less important.

The increase in popularity related to artists is associated with several reasons. Prestigious academics recognized the talent and effort that artists have. For example, Academic awards like Oscar hosts every year in the United Stat and have an enormous audience around the world. Another reason would be the salary. Talented people deserve earn a good salary this is depend on their popularity and talent. A good actor can make a lot of money just for only one movie. In this regard, people decide to become an actor in order to earn well-paid salary. Finally, most artists gain quick popularity across the globe. A movie can be seen in many countries and actors are become celebrities. Therefore, for the all reasons mentioned above people draw their attention to artists.

On the other hand, science and technologies have reached several milestones because skilled people have developed a variety of inventions. The inventions of the first system operation like Windows if Bill Gates had not spent his live in developing such technology, many people would not have computers. In addition, the inventions of internet, these days this technology has influenced in the way people living. Therefore, many people have also want to do something and put their attention towards technology develop. In terms of science, the healthcare is also growing faster in developing medicines that can cure common diseases. People are aware of the advancements of healthcare and start investigating and doing something about it.

In conclusion. I disagree that science and technology have less popularity and importance. Despite their remarkable achievements, people are still draw their attention towards science and technology

Please help cheers

Hi, you say that you disagree that science and technology are treated as less important, but then you spend a whole paragraph stating how much people are concerned with artists. This paragraph does not really contribute to your thesis that science is given just as much importance.

Also, when you talk about artists, you are mainly talking about actors. I don't know if actors should really be considered artists, at least in the sense that the prompt is using the word. Plus, the Oscar awards are not really academic awards, even though they are given by an academy.

Here are some specific changes I would make:

writers, painters or actors because they are are popular.

technologies have been able to

two decades, likewise have famous people.

academics recognize the talent

like the Oscars are bestowed every year

Talented people deservedly earn a good salary this is dependent on their popularity

people decide to become actors in order to earn well-paid salaries.

actors have become celebrities.

The inventions of the first system operation like Windows {this phrase is very confusing to me}

Bill Gates had not spent his life in developing

In addition, regarding the invention of the internet,

influenced in the way people are living.

have also wanted to do something

and put their attention towards developing technology.

Tello, your whole approach to the essay is wrong. You did not understand the instruction sentence at the end that asked you to signify the "extent" of your agreement or disagreement with the essay. The extent is signified by words such as "I strongly oppose", "I strongly agree", "I partially agree", "I partially disagree", "I completely agree", "I completely disagree" at the end of your paraphrased opening statement. Then the second paragraph should indicate the reason why your opinion is such and the next 2 paragraphs should support the statement you just made. That is, unless you said "partly" in which case the 4th paragraph should explain the opposing reasons before you present your concluding paragraph. Since you did not accurately respond to the task instructions for the discussion, the essay that you presented became erroneous in content. That will be main reason why your essay will also receive a failing score. The minute you do not accurately represent the TA section, your essay cannot be deemed to be correct in discussion format and therefore, cannot be given a passing score. The minute that you failed to place an extent description in your thesis statement, the essay already failed.