Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many governments rank economic development the top goal over all others. Yet this is an opinion with which some people disagree, who think other types of progress are just as important for a country. In the essay, I will start by discussing these two points of views and continue with my personal insight into the matter.
Governments give precedence to economic growth on the ground that stronger economic performance means a larger amount of funds, from which their country will stand to benefit. On one hand, a better-funded government can invest more in infrastructure construction to better meet the needs of their citizens for electricity supply, potable water, and transport services, among others. On the other hand, people with a deeper pocket feel free to satisfy their appetite for products and services that they hesitated to buy in the past. Therefore both governments and individuals are to thrive. However, reasonable as the argument sounds, some people think otherwise.
In their view, it is unwise to prioritize economic advance, since there are other goals of no less importance for a country. Take environment protection as an example. If pollution arises, human life and health will come under grave threat. Toxic air can ruin the lungs and stinky water can devastate the stomach. For whoever struggle with disease or death, even the greatest economic success will be reduced to meaninglessness. For this reason, equal priority should be placed to conservation and economic progress.
For my part, I share the point immediately above, since, based on my personal experience, governments are tempted to overlook what they consider less important. The Chinese authorities have just made such a mistake. When they embraced the concept of economy first, environment protection was sidelined or even dissolved into insignificance in certain cases. The consequence is obvious: Beijing, the capital of my country, is frequently shrouded in the immense, murky clouds of acrid smog.
Considering all the arguments above, the conclusion is that economic growth should not take precedence over other types of progress. Admittedly, it benefits a country by helping governments and individuals prosper, but other goals as vital do exist. In addition, when economic progress is established as the principle task, the less important is at risk of losing the attention it deserves.
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I have three questions about the essay.
First, "other types of progress" is too general. When it comes to the presentation of "other types of progress are equally important for a country", many model essays choose to list a series of goals deemed as important, including social justice, human rights, equality, democracy or even lgbt community. But I chose a single explame, such as environment protection, to elaborate the idea. Which method better meets the requirement of IELTS writing?
The second question is about my conclusion. In the final paragraph, I tried to restate the prompts and distill the key point in the discussion of each paragraph. Is it a proper way to write the conclusion?
The last question is about the word counts. Since I have to give a complete paragraph to the pro side, the con side and my own opinion each, the word counts is well above 250 - reaching 377. Is it OK in a actual test?
I would more appreciate it if you score my essay.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 Gang, there is a possibility that you could get a score of 6 with this essay. That score is based upon some confusing sentence development presentations on your part in specific paragraphs. In your second paragraph, you discussed 2 topics instead of 1. This created a less than memorable discussion for this particular point of view because you were not able to pinpoint the actual opinion for this particular stance. The one topic per paragraph approach is always best in this instance. This is the same response that I am giving you for your first question. If you try to discuss too many examples in the body of paragraphs, your essay will suffer the same fate in relation to the clarity of the discussion.
For the second question, your concluding paragraph is a bit confusing. I know that is stayed on point with the original prompt but you seem to have struggled to create the discussion paragraph. I am wondering if this is because you are trying to use more advanced English words and sentence presentations while you are still nervous and unsure about how to do it. If you are not confident in a particular presentation format because of the words that you use, nothing is stopping you from using simple sentence formats if you wish to. That will allow you to get a higher score as well.
As for your last question, the more words that you write, the better. Just make sure that you avoid run - on sentences and confusing presentations as that is the normal tendency for exam takers during the review process. Doing so will lower the GRA and C&C scores. Be very careful in that respect. There is only a word minimum in the IELTS test. There is no maximum so you need to check yourself before you submit the essay test.
@Holt
Thank you for your explanation that clears my doubts. I've long been bewildered by the model essays that use a series of examples to deal with general topics like "economy". Now I know the proper way to write.
As to conclusion, my problem is how to summarize the reasons I provide in my body paragraphs. I didn't figure it out this time, so my conclusion slipped into discussion. I will keep practicing with your advice to improve my writing.
