Computer skills vs three integral subjects which have always been taught in education

Hi, please help me improve my writing for IELTS. Thanks!

Topic:For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some
people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree?

fourth principal subject is not necessary at the moment

The three integral subjects which have always been taught in education are reading, writing and maths as they build fundamental knowledge. Nowadays, there is a viewpoint that computer skill should be included in the list. I partially agree with the idea. This essay will explain why I support the point of view yet have different opinion on some points.

First and foremost, computer skill is one of the most powerful tools people can take advantage of in order to be effective and productive at work. Since a tremendous amount of information have been stored in computers and internet instead of heavy book, mastering how to properly use computer to exploit those useful sources of data would lessen workload and effort as well as improve work efficiency. A brilliant example for that is numerous companies are asking their candidates to have solid computer skill to be hired. Thus, the weight of training pupils as approved computer users should indeed be reconsidered.

However, computer skill has yet made it to the top important subject next to reading, writing and maths. The central reason is that the majority of professions, except certain jobs such as information technology and software engineer, only require basic knowledge of computer which can achieved in months of practice. Moreover, the skill could be self-taught easily. It makes no sense to impose hours of study computer skill on students while they are able to learn it from scratch at home with or without the help of their parents, siblings and friends. Therefore, computer skill needs more attention but should not be exaggerated as a core subject in school.

Due to the fact that computers have undeniably tremendous impact in life, it is understandable that some people want computer skill to become essential in curriculum alongside the three core subjects. Although the importance of the skill truly demand emphasis, making it the fourth principal subject is not necessary at the moment.

Yuka, this is a pretty good presentation that fails in only one aspect. As this is an "extent" essay, there are 3 points of view that must be represented in the body of paragraphs namely:

1. Public opinion on the negative side
2. Public opinion on the positive side
3. Your personal opinion.

The structure of this essay is 5 paragraphs based upon the indicated discussion points in the prompt. The prompt indicates 2 points of view and then your "extent" explanation based upon the side of the public discussion that you support.Your concluding paragraph is lacking the representation of the summarized discussion of the reason why the computer subject should not be a 4th core subject. Regardless, I don't see this essay scoring less than a 6 in an actual setting. Just remember that you need to create certain paragraphs and presentations based upon the expected elements of the original prompt. You don't have to worry about taking the test as you show a high potential to pass it with a higher than average score. Just a few more practice runs and you should perform well on exam day.