Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Graduate   % width Posts: 5


"Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow". J. D'Angelo


nasarslan 1 / 3  
Nov 12, 2014   #1
Please read my SOP for Petroleum Engineering, Please provide me any changes possible. Please read whole sop and any suggestions to reduce 3rd and 4rth paragraph. Thanks in advance.

"Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow". J. D'Angelo

"Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow." J. D'Angelo
Physical sciences have enthralled me since high school, and I have always found inspiration in learning how the world around me works. However, my fascination with the oil and gas industry kicked in only during my senior year at college after working on project with Shell representatives who visited the campus, delivering their presentations and representing my country in Malaysia in an event organized by Shell named 'Shell Eco Marathon.' I thrive on gaining more knowledge every day and my biggest motivation is to face the challenges and continuous struggle to be the best among my peers - a characteristic that drove me to get highest grades in all the semester projects and in the end securing Rector's Gold Medal in my final year Project.

Working on the Shell Eco Marathon cars in the final year was in itself quite an extensive task, I was also ensuring that my Final Year Project did not suffer as a consequence of it. As a group project, we opted to design, analyze and form the Tool Path Generation for a die of fuel cell interconnect. Throughout the course, I was an active part of numerous other projects as well. Most significant of which were "study the change in micro-structure and mechanical properties of heat treated steel and its alloys", "design and fabrication of rotating unbalance system" and "analytical calculation and simulation for the fatigue life of aluminum specimen". Being a prominent member of the brain-storming process (designer) for these and every such project, has helped to rather broaden my own visions of approach and critical reasoning for every step I take. I used to help my colleagues with their projects as well, because of my strong capabilities at Solid Works, CATIA, MSC NASTRAN, MSC PATRAN, MATLAB, Lab View and ANSYS. I designed both, the Urban Concept car and the Prototype Concept car, for Shell Eco Marathon. From scratch, I designed and analyzed both the cars for my university, and even in the fabrication process, I was responsible of proof-checking all the components being added. My analysis for both the cars, the stress analysis and the fluid-dynamics analysis (CFD) had made me aware that perfection was the key to obtaining the desired results and that is why at every stage of the fabrication process, I used to gear up, wear my safety goggles, and got down and dirty with working countless number of nights on these projects.

If there was anything that came even close to my passion for learning, it was hockey and Table Tennis. Hockey had the majestic beauty in it and through dedication I managed to be selected in my district's hockey team. It helped me to strategize, to plan and also, to execute, all done in a very fast pace. At university I focused on Table Tennis and won three tournaments. This sport taught me the most crucial principle of life, patience. Living in university's hostel was altogether a different experience and when provided with this opportunity of exposure, I embraced it, instead of resenting it. It taught me many essential characteristics which I am quite proud of, the most crucial of which was management. My efforts, on sustaining balance between curricular and extracurricular activities, were appreciated by the NUST Administration and for the course of my senior year, I was appointed as the NUST Student Representative for Mess, of the entire hostel. This particular post comes second to the most important position a student can hold, and my university has a dedicated ceremony for presenting these titles to the selected students. Two months later Pakistan faced the worst flooding season and millions were displaced. As an authority bearer, I managed to raise a considerable sum of money for flood affectees. Before that in my home town I worked as a volunteer for Green Volunteers; a youth based, non-profitable organization.

Exploration of eco-friendly and more economical power resources are dire needs of the modern world. Being a realist, I have always wanted to be part of the solution that will confront these problems. The ongoing energy crisis in resource rich Pakistan has also tempted me pursue career as a Petroleum Engineer. After graduation I desire to work in Oil and Gas sector which is fulfilled.

I have been working with Oil and Gas Development Company since I graduated in 2013. My experience includes working in Pakistan at Onshore environments. I have run well testing jobs on both Oil and Gas wells, closely interacting with other segments including Wireline, Coiled Tubing, and Hydraulic Fracturing at well site. I often got involved in scientific discussions related to operations at well site with Reservoir, Petroleum and/or Production Engineers which only served to increase my interest in the field of Petroleum Engineering. However, coming from an Industrial and Manufacturing Engineering background, I often find my limited knowledge in Petroleum Engineering frustrating. Now that my technical training program is just completed, I find myself drawn to pursuing a formal educational degree in Petroleum Engineering before continuing my career in the Oil and Gas Sector.

My particular interest areas include Drilling, Design of Well Testing programs, Reservoir Simulation and Evaluation based on the collected data and Field Development Studies including Design of Completion Strings and Surface Facilities for hydrocarbon handling and processing. I believe a Masters in Petroleum Engineering from Imperial College will not only provide me with an in-depth knowledge of the field I have been working in for the past one years but also an opportunity to gain broader understanding of the industry as a whole.

I have chosen to apply to Imperial College based on the pool of well-known and industry-recognized lecturers and well-equipped laboratories. College have excellent links with many major companies and specialist Petroleum Engineers teach students the state of the art technologies and process used in today's oil industry. Overall students at imperial college get exposed to the latest technologies used in the petroleum sector all over the world due to which leads to high rates of employment. Another factor for choosing imperial college is the course structure which helps the students to acquire diverse knowledge of petroleum sector. It also instills independent thinking and critical analysis through formal lectures, group projects and individual research projects. A broad range of research topics are covered and supervised in collaboration with petroleum sector, enabling students to acquire practical experience as well. . I am also aware of the size and diversity of the students in your graduate school which combined, provides the right atmosphere and personal grooming to enable proper learning for all involved. Your university is a great choice for people interested in Petroleum Engineering, and I would be honored to join the elite few given the opportunity to study in your great citadel of learning.

I am hopeful that after completing my Master's Degree, I will rejoin the industry as a more knowledgeable professional and will continue to learn and excel at what I do. There are great Job opportunities within the traditional as well as the future oil industry. Possible work places include government and private oil companies, consultancy firms and service providers in Pakistan such as PSO, Caltex, Byco petroleum, Shell, Total and OGDCL. Middle East serves as the major market for petroleum engineers. Companies such as Saudi Aramco, RTE Group, Dragon Oil, PCT group, Gulf Incon, Petropars, Arabian drilling company and thousands of other oil & gas companies have a lot of job opportunities for petroleum engineers. According to survey the market demand of petroleum engineers will grow by 17 percent by 2020. A completed study will also form a good basis for a future career as a researcher.
ershad193 14 / 333 5  
Nov 12, 2014   #2
I have always found satisfaction [...] Gold Medal in my final year Project.

Only the ending of this paragraph is meaningful. All the other stuff in unconvincing. You cannot just state your qualities. You have to demonstrate them with examples.

The third paragraph's main problem is that it focuses on what you did more than what you learnt from the sport. Besides, I don't think your extracurricular activities should occupy so much space in an engineering SOP. The major portion of the essay should talk about the course, your technical and research skills, job experience, and your expectations from the programme. What do you plan to do after you finish the course?

What you can do now is combine the third and the fourth paragraphs into a single paragraph and leave out the irrelevant sentences like:

and that itself was an experience of its own. To survive [...] everything changed when I came into the hostel.

Moreover, place this combined paragraph towards the end of the essay. First you need to talk about the technical, course-relevant stuff.

Irrelevant sentences again

I am fascinated by how vast the Oil and Gas industry is and how much there is to learn. One lifetime seems far too short to reap all the learning opportunities this field offers.

I have an issue with the final paragraph too. If you replace the name Imperial College with any other university, your paragraph doesn't change at all. What I'm saying is that it doesn't have any specifics about the programme. You need to do some research about the course and answer the question, "Why Imperial College and not some other university?"
OP nasarslan 1 / 3  
Nov 12, 2014   #3
I have always found satisfaction in excelling at what I do. A thirst for knowledge has been my driving force since an early age.

if i remove this and combined first and second paragraph into one will that me ok and strong starting.
like this: "Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow". J. D'Angelo
Physical sciences have enthralled me since high school, and I have always found inspiration in learning how the world around me works. However, my fascination with the oil and gas industry kicked in only during my senior year at college after working on project with Shell representatives who visited the campus, delivering their presentations and representing my country in Malaysia in an event organized by Shell named 'Shell Eco Marathon.' I thrive on gaining more knowledge every day and my

biggest motivation is to face the challenges and continuous struggle to be the best among my peers - a characteristic that drove me to get highest grades in all the semester projects and in the end securing Rector's Gold Medal in my final year Project.

please tell me then i work further. and thanks a lot ershad193
OP nasarslan 1 / 3  
Nov 12, 2014   #4
I have an issue with the final paragraph too

I am working on this paragraph.
In the mean time i managed to do some important changes described by you in the above portion please comment. if any further changes are needed.
ershad193 14 / 333 5  
Nov 12, 2014   #5
I like the central idea of your second paragraph. However, right now there are too many things going on there. Pick a couple of projects which are relevant to the programme and talk about them. As for the others, listing them in your CV will do.

Cut out stuff like this:

My mind comprehends and understands more when I get the prospect of learning by actually seeing something at work.

my extremely strong capabilities


Home / Graduate / "Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow". J. D'Angelo
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳