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Statement Letter for University of Glasgow (City Planning & Real Estate Development MSc)


putrowidodojati 1 / 1  
Jan 31, 2016   #1
Hi guys, would you mind reviewing my statement letter? it will be much appreciated. Thanks!

In Indonesian cities, most poor residents live in spontaneous informal settlements referred to as kampung. Kampungs are scattered throughout the city and have substandard infrastructure, small plots of land for each dwelling and low quality of building structure and materials. Most of the dwellings in kampungs are constructed gradually by the residents from permanent and non-permanent materials depending largely on what the residents can afford. Poor kampung residents are marginalized urban residents that push their way to occupy state land such as disposal sites, riverbanks, and railway tracks and private unoccupied land and illegally construct their dwellings.

Indonesia has been implementing three housing policies including self-help housing policy such as the Kampung Improvement Program (KIP), Community-based Housing Development (P2BPK) and Self-help Housing Assistance (BSPS); the PERUMNAS Program which is the national program for public housing development; and the cross subsidy housing policy. This post discusses all three housing policies and the transformation of Indonesia's housing policies after the fall of Suharto's authoritative regime. The discussion also includes the housing finance, the interplay of the state and the market in housing outcome and the extent to which the three housing policies have addressed the housing provision for the urban poor in Indonesia. As an Architect I have a massive responsibility within my hands to solve the occurring city planning and housing issues, especially the ones occurring in my country, Indonesia. As a developing country, Indonesia is struggling to face these problems. The previous solutions taken to solve these problems are usually reactive actions to tackle urgent problems, rather than creating a sustainable one. The lack of interdisciplinary approach in solving and mitigating these issues is the root cause of the endless environmental problem in Indonesia. The solutions taken are often using only finance-approach, rather than understanding that these problems need a wider point of view in science and social aspects as well. Moreover, there is an urgent need for sustainable design and strict implementation of the design.

As an Architect who was born and raised in the capital city of Indonesia, which is Jakarta, I understand the need for a proper and sustainable city planning and detailed real estate law, regulations, and policies which could bolster the development of equality in proper and formal dwellings, specifically for Indonesia's poor residents. Hence, I strongly believe that to tackle these problems, expanding my views on the solution is mandatory. I have to be able to implement the concept of spatial planning strategies and the bigger picture of real estate from the economic and process development point of views. University of Glasgow City Planning and Real Estate Development master program is exactly what i need since it offers broader knowledge on this area.

In the future, I want to work as an independent property developer, which will focus in green and sustainable design, not just the building, but the whole infrastructure itself must be integrated with the city rules, regulation, economy, and growth context. Targeting the low income residents, my utopia would be when equality in proper and formal housing is available and within reach to be purchased by the low income residents of Indonesia. I believe The City Planning and Real Estate Development course is perfectly suitable to provide me with theoretical and practical knowledge to understand the broader picture of this industry.

I had shown excellent performance in terms of academic and organizational skill in my undergraduate study. I also participated in Architecture Student Council, as the Vice Chief of Academic Division. Through this division we made lots of events to introduce architecture to general public, and also to help the students internally in terms of studying and choosing career path by inviting professionals from various related industries to hold seminars, talk shows, and workshops. Hence, I believe I have no difficulties in adapting and communicating with others.

After graduation, my only goal is to give my contribution to the society by wanting my design to be built immediately and be used by many, hence i decided to join my first company. I started my career in a small design firm, called M.A.D.D.. Here i learned how to handle clients, translating their needs and wants into the design, made construction drawing, choosing materials, and doing construction supervision. This firm specializes in commercial and retail spaces. I designed many cafes, restaurants, offices, and even apartment's show units. Interior design is a fast-paced field, in one year and three months of my tenure here, I had built many projects such as Ismaya Catering Co, Calais, Sudirman Residence, etc.

The reason i ended my tenure at M.A.D.D. was because i want my design to be able to reach more people, and i want to reach them in the more fundamental aspect of life, which is the human needs of dwelling. I decided to join PT Jaya Real Property, Tbk (JRP), situated in planning & development team of this property developer company, I acted as the senior architect for this company. I designed most of the new housings and small master plan in JRP. I also invited local and international firms to design larger scale of projects, gathering knowledge and perspectives from these firms was a valuable experience for me. It gave me deep satisfaction when i finally saw the cluster which i designed, dwelt by the people, and became a living organic space filled with activities.

Rationally, after having experiences in design firm and property developer companies, I tried to complete my experience by adding construction field into my resume. Currently I'm working at PT Arkadia Nusantara Mandiri (ANM) which specializes in housing and commercial projects construction. My role as Deputy Project Manager here is to manage the whole construction process from zero to done. Understanding design from construction perspective, gives me the edge on how to be practical, tactical, and yet accommodating to designers and clients.

In conclusion, my focus is contributing to the society by providing houses, not just for the privileged, but also the poor. I believe with my experiences in these three fields, combined with the interdisciplinary course content of City Planning and Real Estate Development master program will provide me with more edge in understanding the bigger picture of this industry and also, how to solve the issues correctly.

Yours Faithfully,

Putro Widodojati
pikul 23 / 26 3  
Feb 1, 2016   #2
you are a good writer, almost perfect i think since there is a bit grammatical error

In Indonesian cities, most poor residents live inINDONESIA IS A COUNTRY WITH MOST POOR CITIZENS LIVE IN

but the whole infrastructureS itself ......
fahmisadja 33 / 33 34  
Feb 1, 2016   #3
Hi Putro,

I'm happy reading your personal statement. I did not find grammatical error. You have appropriate word with suitable collocation, but in my opinion you should polish your flow. So, your readers can illustrate your interest trough your story.

Here we go, let me to give some comments on your writing :

- in my opinion, you just need to write "personal statement by Putro Widodojati" for title and no need to put your greeting (yours faithfully) in the end of your writing

- I lilbit confuse with your paragraph 1 and 2, what's the purpose exactly? actually you can show your idea while you explain your story explicitly.
- it is better to start with your background why do you interest with this major? it is related to your experiences (maybe your child, study and work experiences)

- your reasons why you should continue your study?
- what your goals in the future?
- to support your future, maybe you need to enhance your knowledge, and the best way is study in this university. why do you chose your university? - you may show the benefits from this university

- for conclusion, emphasize your statement, what will you take ? what for? (maybe you can mention : to contribute ...... )
- you should put the last sentences to ask him or her to consider your personal statement, for example you can use it : I humbly hope that this little piece of my life story can assist you in considering me as a prospective student in your university

that's all. good luck then. I hope it helps :)
OP putrowidodojati 1 / 1  
Feb 16, 2016   #4
thank you for the reviews! I apologize for the late reply, you both are from indonesia also right? cheers for us :)
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Feb 16, 2016   #5
Putro, are you writing a statement of intent or statement of purpose for this university? I need to be sure of the type of statement you are writing so that I can give you the advice applicable to the application you are writing. Each statement that you are required to write for a masters degree varies in content and theme, depending upon the objective of the essay. That is why I need to be sure of what kind of essay you are writing.

A word of advice though, and this applies regardless of whether you are writing a statement of intent or statement of purpose, remove the first two paragraph of the essay that you currently have written. You are not writing a policy paper critique. Therefore, the definition and explanations that you have at the beginning are of no interest to the reviewer. Always offer your personal information and more pertinent data upfront. don't leave it for the 4th paragraph as you have done so now.


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