Hi BMM, welcome to EF! :D
What is the prompt for this essay? What is it you've been asked to write about? What are the requirements? This will be very helpful for us in determining if you essay meets the requirements of what is being asked.
Mochtar made some good points. You should work on your spacing between paragraphs and not having one big block of text. That is much harder to read.
Your essay seems very complicated- more than it has to be. It shouldn't be hard for the reader to understand what is going on and what you are trying to say. All of these these things like:
Smart City development for Navi Mumba
forums for Maharashtra's Startup & Entrepreneurship Policy
and
Start- up India, Stand-up India' initiative
.
They're not really explained properly. I did a quick internet search and still didn't even know what you were talking about! Help your reader to understand what these things are, what your role was, and how having that role is beneficial and will help you succeed in graduate school. Even in the second paragraph when you explain things, it's still not clear. You did a lot of things, but you are making very general statements without showing the reader what your accomplishments are. Maybe it's confusing to me because my field of graduate study (Social Work) is so opposite of whatever it is you are applying to study. Speaking of, what program are you applying for? I've read your essay multiple times and still couldn't figure it out. I think you should try to relate this experience to your field of study.
For example:
The achievement of my design being chosen for the Smart Parking project makes me a good candidate for XX program because I learned YY/ I am able to YY (this is the skills and traits you learned). Having YY means that I will succeed in (your program, field of work, etc) because of ZZ (reason why this is an important skill) .An example of this from my life could be
"During my work at xyz company, I was able to strengthen my risk assessment skills when working with young people. In the field of social work it's important to easily and quickly identify at-risk clients because crisis interventions need to be done in a timely manner when lives are at stake. My ability to do so ensures that young people are able to immediately meet with a counselor who can ensure their safety."