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SOP for doctoral computer science with concentration on machine learning and robotics


paiania 1 / - 1  
Dec 14, 2016   #1
each feedback would be highly appreciated. I know there are many grammatical mistakes.

Since the ultimate goals in my life are to do research in the Machine learning (ML) and Robotics areas and to teach in an academic environment, I wish to pursue a Ph.D. degree in Computer Science with the emphasis on ML and Robotics at your University.

A Brief History of Myself:


I ranked among the best 60 of more than 100,000 high school students in the National Entrance Examination for admission to Iranian Technical and Vocational University (TVU) in July 2005, and was accepted at Technical College MMM. I also ranked among the top 100 of 400,000 high school students who took the National Entrance Examination for admission to Iranian universities in July 2008, and was accepted at AAA University, a prestigious University in Iran. As far as educational system in Iran is concerned, I should note that there are no sufficient infrastructures and facilities for the students to pursue their objectives. Therefore, I decided to continue my university career at a high-ranking foreign university under the close supervision of experienced and knowledgeable professors. Thus, I attended the master program in Computer Science at the KKK University in September 2014 and currently, I have moved to VVV University to finish my master's thesis which will be finished in July 2017. Both master's programs are explicitly taught in English. I have gained a remarkable amount of experience in both software engineering and data science, which will be immensely useful for my future career.

Research and Teaching Experience:


Teaching has always been my passion. I used to teach Graphic Design in the first year of college. I have taught C++ and Java at the Technical College MMM. I have also taught some concepts of Artificial Intelligence (AL) to undergraduate students at the AAA University. All those experiences have added to my repertoire as a Professor/Teacher in the future. Furthermore, I was a member of RoboCop team for two years during my bachelor studies in computer engineering. Working with this group I have learned many principles of AL, advanced programming and data science. I have already completed all my master's courses with an 'A+' grade. Recently I have started working on my thesis. I am working with the department of Knowledge Engineering at the University of VVV. I have already done many research about Model-driven Engineering, Model-driven Software Development, Constraint-driven Modeling through transformation in the KKK University.

During my studies, I have gained profound knowledge of various areas of computer science, such as Software Engineering and System Design, Data Analysis, Fundamentals and Programming, Data Modeling and Evaluation, Applying Machine Learning Algorithms and Libraries, Statistics and Probability and etc. I have a fair amount of research experience on how intelligent software analysis generate great mount of user-generated data and then how they are programmed to make their own decision. Additionally, I did several research projects, the most significant of which is my master's thesis in the areas of Probabilistic Programming Language.

Career Targets:


The world's challenges are intricate and they do require intricate systems to solve them. The world is changing in quickly ways, and the request for ML engineers is going to increase exponentially. ML has limitless applications. There are many areas covered by ML, containing computer science, education, finance, and etc. In some cases, ML approaches are in fact seriously needed. Healthcare can be an explicit instance. ML techniques are already being applied in the scope of Healthcare sphere, including everything from care variation reduction efforts to medical scan analysis.

The rise of modern computers has transformed science and technology. The universal Turing machine was a innovative idea with the help of single machine of fixed structure with making use of coded instructions stored in memory, like a chameleon, it could change itself from one task into a quite different one, from a machine appropriation to another machine appropriation.

Basic physical theories such as quantum mechanics were created to describe an abstract atomic world far removed from daily experience and have been formulated on a computational level, leading to inventions such as encrypted protocols which are secured by physics laws. At that time, Wikipedia, has integrated the sum of all human knowledge, the platform, the global network used to open content, with Wikimedia's vision statement:" Imagine a world in which every single human being can freely share in the sum of all knowledge. That's our commitment", which will allow us to better understand, predict, and cure many common diseases.

I think Wikipedia is one of the most amazing human inventions but, 'sum total of human knowledge' isn't the end-point because we can ever collate the sum of all knowledge not something into a single platform. But all this progress, reminiscent one thing: lack of human intelligence model that it is able to learn a specific task from data or experimental observation. While computers are surprisingly good at settle officially specified problems, the kind of sensational argument that humans accomplish each second are harder to make over.

At the same time to reduce great human costs, making the automation of "human" tasks an attractive target for economic growth was proposed. Furthermore, the intelligence conversion to digital form may allow us to widely distribute and replicate smart digital philosopher, in the same way that the chess-playing computer program Fritz has created for us a grandmaster chess to computers.

These evaluations lead me to the conclusion that advances in machine learning have the potential to revolutionize robotics and ML which are the top impact technologies that are currently being developed.

For my further career is plan to develop intelligent technologies.

Proposed Research Scheme:


When I was a boy I dreamed of making an intelligent robot which could have evolved in the same way that humans learning, day by day to augment to his knowledge because I have always believed I can build a machine learner. In this regard, by reading Arthur Samuel ideas about artificial intelligence and machine learning, I have reached certainty. I found out that language is a perfect example of human experience that it can be learned only through experience. I believe it requires a deep neural network to learn.

As an artificial intelligence researcher, my major research interests on AL are described below that will benefit society:
•Deep learning | especially understanding that how deep learning works, understanding neural networks with many neurons and layers, can also embrace more advanced systems that understand, learn, predict and adapt, able to recognize objects and translate speech in the actual time during which an event occurs. I believe that AL is going to be smart through Deep Learning.

•Probabilistic Programming | for having an Advanced Machine Learning, which be able to understand data, manage results and vision evaluation from unknown information, we need the Probabilistic Programming. With the Probabilistic Programming, the program looking to create more affordable, huge and strong applications that need less data to produce more exact results.

•Algorithmic robotics | especially configuration space that many applications in robotics and related areas can be decreased to computational problems. research on motion planning algorithms for find a path in the remains space from an initial configuration to a goal configuration.

•Mobile robotics | build autonomous and Intelligent mobile robots that can to evaluate and manage unknown location.
•Environment recognition and mapping through movement | ML approach for environment recognition.
I am greatly interested in conducting research and presentation of papers, especially in the fields of Machine Learning and Robotics. I have a creative mind. In case of being provided the opportunity, I can flourish my talents and put my plans and designs into practice.

Considering your eminence and reputation in the realm of mathematics and engineering and for having numerous research results in theory and application of Machine Learning and Robotics, and my abilities in the same fields, I now appreciably request you to assist me to join your PhD program. I assure you that I will do my best to have the desired performance in education.

I hope to return your favor someday.
Sincerely yours,
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,766 4768  
Dec 14, 2016   #2
Sam, for your brief history, start only with an overview of your college degree and then a summary of your masters degree. Specifically mention the scope of your thesis research (if any) and whether you have had your research published or not. The reviewer at this point is no longer interested in your high school accomplishments because, no matter how remarkable they may sound to you, those are merely amateur accomplishments that do not reflect the kind of professional that you have become based upon your college education and current work experience. That is why the focus of your academic background should only be on college and masters degree courses, along with any significant training or seminars attended as part of your continued advanced education pursuits.

For the sake of length and focus, please try to combine your information regarding your career interests and research pursuits. You need to only combine the most significant information that you can gather for this part. Make sure that the career interests represent the method by which you will be conducting your PhD research. That way the career focus helps to illustrate the importance of your research pursuits. By the way, consider the length of time that it will take you to complete your PhD. You may not have enough time to cover all of these research topics. Why don't you just focus on the one that you can complete within the allotted time for your PhD completion. That way you also shorten the presentation of your research interests and focus on the most impressive topic for your project.

Now about your format. The statement of purpose is normally written in an essay form. Not an outline like a resume that you have at the moment. Please make sure that you are using the correct format for your paper because, even though the outline might make it easier for you to present your information, it might take up too much time on the part of the reviewer to read the salient parts of your application in this format. He may not have enough time to finish sorting through your narrative in order to get to the answers that he needs. So it would be best to work on shortening your content and just presenting the information in essay format. I am sure the SOP has a word count requirement of some sort so that will help you in assessing the proper length and content coverage of your essay.
abdon786 4 / 10 4  
Dec 14, 2016   #3
I think you have presented the information about you very nicely.
But, I think your further segregation of the essay into sub-headings may not look good to a reviewer.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Dec 14, 2016   #4
The thing that bothers me the most is about the correct abbreviation of Artifical Intelligence. I thought that I was mistakenly read Artifical Intelligence (AL), but then I realized you kept using the same term for Artifical Intelligence. I am really sure, as far as I know, Articial Intelligence should be A.I. not A.L.. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Also, SOP like this is often related to an academic writing. You need to know that the use of coordinate conjunctions like 'but', 'and', and many more, should NOT be placed in the beginning of the sentence. This can make your SOP less academic/formal. I have seen some of them are placed in thw beginning of the sentence in this essay and therefore, I suggest you to replace them by using 'However'/'Nevertheless'/any other possible cohesive devices.

Overall, I can say that your SOP has improved from the previous one. It was well-developed and well-written. Some grammatical flaws are still considered as acceptable and do not distract the meaning. Yet, if you want to fix them, you can focus on the first sentence in the paragraph about your career plan.


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