@Holt and everyone
The deadline for this is GMT 24:00 16 January.
I will really appreciate any suggestions to improve my letter of motivation.
Thank you very much.
BUSINESSES IMPROVEMENT THROUGH INNOVATIONS
I get my management background through my undergraduate study in several elective courses such as Strategic Management, Marketing Management and Operational Management. In my third year, I conducted an independent project under SMEs-COOP Program. Cooperative Academic Education Program (COOP) in SMEs that was hold by Higher Education, Technology and Research Ministry aim to provide practical and industrial knowledge to students and real solution to problems faced by SMEs. In four months of the program, I provide bookkeeping solutions to local SMEs that produce bakery in household scales using Microsoft Excel and in return I was able to understand the establishment of the business, how a bakery operates and basic of the entrepreneurship.
Product and service demands in Indonesia, as the 4th populous country in the world, offer chances and a fertile ground for business growth. While there are people who make use of this opportunity such as Nadiem Nakarim, founder of GO-JEK, a company was established with excellent idea of combining smartphone application with motorcycle taxi, some people fail to develop and sustain their business against the competition from inside and outside of the country. According to my observation, the most of the business closed because inability to compete with similar business that also targeting the same market. Moreover, competitions from foreign companies which are more advance in all business aspects push local businesses to quickly come up with new technical idea of products, services and management that will enable them to stay competitive, be leader in its industry and improve them financially.
In order to conduct the innovation, business leaders need to have channels and opportunities to learn the relevant knowledge and skills. This is where I play my role to help and enlighten them with strategies, tools and management methods that lead to successful innovation that is measured through financial improvement. In order to professionally realize my goal, I need to upgrade my qualification with accomplishing master degree and obtain understanding of relationship between technical knowledge and economic growth, inter-organizational innovation and management of knowledge networks.
Chalmers University of Technology is the best institutional choice for me to pursue my master since Management and Economics of Innovation focus in interactive action-oriented research for real problems encountered by companies and provide actionable knowledge which is aligned with my research interest. Department of Technology Management and Economics also owns researches centers which is Chalmers' strength such as Center for Business Innovation (CBI) and Center for intellectual Property Studies (CIP) which will support me in conducting research during my study. I have particular interest and hope to be able to read the publication of research projects developed by CBI which are "Business Model Changes" led by Associate Professor Joakim Bjorkdahl and "circular business models in the manufacturing industry" led by Mats Williander. I am interested to learn more their projects about business model and use it for improvement of businesses in Indonesia.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,797 
4780 It is not important to mention the names of other Indonesians who succeeded in this field. That is not relevant to your motivation to complete this course as far as I can tell. There is nothing in that paragraph that indicates the person was able to motivate you to take this course. Skip that part. You should also revise the line that starts with "According to my observation". The term "according to" indicates that you will be offering second hand information. However, you are presenting first hand information based upon your own activity. Therefore, you should simply say "I have observed" or "I observed". Take possession of the statement you are about to make. The rest of the essay has already fallen into place so once you apply these changes, you should have a usable version of the essay already. There is no need to continue to modify the essay after this point. All that is left is to wish you the best with your application.
