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My SOP for pursuing MSBA (Master of Business Analytics) in the U.S


Christy1997 1 / -  
Sep 18, 2017   #1
Hi everyone!
I have just finished my statement of purpose for pursuing the master of business analytics in the U.S.
According to the requirements, the word limit is 500 words.
Any advice and comments will be very helpful to me, thank you in advance!


solving the real-world issues knowledge and passion



Three years ago, I stepped into ABC university and my academic life in Information Management and Engineering began. As a freshman, my mind was full of aspiration to absorb knowledge and unveil the unknowns. Yet, I was puzzled and perplexed to plan for my future then: having learned advanced skills like C programming and data structure, I felt lost that there was hardly a way for me to apply my knowledge. Confusion, dismay and helplessness occupied my mind.

Though, I did not give up exploring and in my study. With the learning of more sophisticated computer language such as SQL and Java, I dived deeply into my major through several team projects. Later, I seized the chance to take Accounting as my second major, hoping to cultivate my sense of business. Moreover, I worked in research department of China Galaxy Security and the finance department in Continental, a fortune 500 German corporation. Working with elites, and getting familiar with the enterprise business, my horizon was expanded and I began to consider my career based on various aspects.

Data Mining was the course that made my journey pleasant and glorious. The professor presented several cases of data mining to us, and those powerful applications of the technology were really amazing, and fantastic, to an utmost extent, they touched me. Both the recommendation algorithm applied by the famous e-commerce and deep learning algorithm used by AlphaGo are magic. Motivated by the outstanding technology, I showed my unprecedented enthusiasm for the data mining project and volunteered to be the team leader. I proposed to identify the problematic online P2P lending platforms by analyzing their finance data. Also, I learned R myself in order to finish the identification analysis and finally finished the project with distinction. Data Mining guided me to find my interest of solving real-world issues, especially in the business field, by application of the innovative computer technologies.

Carrying my passion, I luckily joined the tax management consulting team of Deloitte, working closely to the application of innovative technology based on artificial intelligence worker- Robotic Process Automation (RPA) in the field of tax. The RPA can replace human work with higher efficiency and higher quality, for example, to recognize, record, archive and package invoice automatically. In just one month, my passion drove me to finish three RPA projects efficiently. Once I talked my plan to continue my master study in the US to my manager, he expressed his regret to me, "Yijun, you really have a talent in this field, why is it necessary to go abroad?"

At that moment, I know that there was no confusion or hesitation about my plan. I want to know more of the business world and how the business elites solve problems; to study more sophisticated language like R and Python systematically; and to know how complex theory like machine learning algorithm was used in the business world. Choosing the master of business analytics, I am running energetically towards my next station.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Sep 18, 2017   #2
Yijun, there is no real purpose for your desire to study MSBA being presented in your essay. What you wrote is more of a letter of motivation or self introduction instead of a statement of purpose. The statement of purpose needs to respond to 5 specific questions in order to accurately portray the purpose of your studies. The 5 questions to be responded to are:

1. What is your current profession and how does your desire for a masters certification relate to your future career plans?
2. What problems do you wish to address in your field of work that you feel can be best resolved by someone with and MSBA?
3. How did your college education prepare you for your profession?
4. What changes do you hope to effect in your field of work via the completion of this course?
5. Why did you choose this university and how can completing the degree at this university help address your 5 year career plan?

Those guide questions should be able to help you create a better draft version of your essay. One that more aligns itself with the expected content of an SOP. The questions are basically standard for all SOP essays so you should come up with a usable version of the essay that you wrote above. The SOP is one of the most difficult essays to write but with the right guidance, developing the content should be a breeze. Good luck with your revision.
admission2012 - / 477 90  
Sep 20, 2017   #3
Hello, This is actually a good start in that you presented a logical progression as to how you ended up where you are now. Your explanation was organic and did not seemed forced. Most admissions officers will appreciate this. What's missing here is an explanation of how this particular program will help you reach your goals. Talk more about the program specifically and how the courses/professors etc....will help you not only strengthen your analytical skills but also help you cross over into a position that will fully utilize them.

-Admissions


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