So our teacher asks us to find a news about teenagers damage properties.
and then we need to summarize it, discuss if it is biased, why they commit such an act and how i feel about this report.
thebostonchannel.com/r/22930465/detail.html
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This news is published from "the Boston channel.com". The news in basically about the Boston police arrested 4 drunken teenagers between 16 and 18 broke in and partied in a house, while the homeowners were in Paris for a vacation on Feb 20th, 2010. In the end they drew over 100 people to the party and caused at least $45,000 damages. The homeowners descried the house as:"blood and even urine smeared on the floors and walls, and basketball-sized holes in the walls, a burned antique sofa, flour stuffed down the toilets, doors pulled down and windows smashed." However, I think this report is sort of biased, because the report does not tell the readers why the 4 teenagers commit such a terrible act, and neither have they provided opinions from the teenagers' point of view. We are only told from the police and the homeowners that the teens showed no remorse. The report does, in the first place, say that the teens were drunk, making the readers think that maybe alcohol contribute to their act. But it's still not clear or convincing enough to show that those teens are the ones who initially start the party. After reading this report, I think this news channel should provide broder points of view when reporting news. It is very important to let the readers know what each side's opinion is, in order to justify the whole incident. And I also think that, we should help watch out and look after our neighbors' house when they are gone. In this way, we can avoid many similar acts happen. a higher age limited for drinking alcohol and implement stricter laws to prevent teenagers get in touch with drugs.
hey :) Your summary is really good but there's a few errors.
Here, I corrected some things in these few sentnces.
The party drew over 100 people and caused at least $45,000 in damages. The homeowners described the house as "blood and even urine smeared on the floors and walls, and basketball-sized holes in the walls, a burned antique sofa, flour stuffed down the toilets, doors pulled down and windows smashed."
Take out "sort off". That makes the essay looks informal. Instead, it should be something like However, I think this report is biased, because it doesn't tell the readers why the 4 teenagers commited such a terrible act, and the article hasn't even provided opinions from the teenagers' point of view. Even though the report does say that the teenagers were drunk, it's still not clear or convincing enough to show that those teens are the ones who initially started the party.
I think this news channel needs to provide braoder points of view when reporting incidents like these.
Take out And, and just start with I. I also think that we should help watch out and look after our neighbors' houses when they're gone. This way, we can avoid many similar acts happenening. There should be a higher age limit for drinking alcohol and stricter laws should be implemented to prevent teenagers get in touch with drugs.
Hoped I help :) Good luck :)
xoxo,
Prahasi
I think the long quote in your speech is not necessary, get rid of it and paraphrase it.
I think your suggestions are really helpful for all the readers.
