Book Reports / Beloved Essay (T. Morrison) -How the character's relationship to the past contributes [3]

Hello! I have to write an essay for my AP Literature class. The essay is based on...DUNNN---BELOVED by Toni Morrison.

The topic and essay is below! This isn't a final draft, so I may have some grammatical errors here and there. I need feedback is all (constructive criticism is welcomed)! You may need to know: I'm rusty on transitions and I'm bad at writing a thesis statement (And I may not even have one...sadly I can't tell)

Thanks in advance!
(Also, I'm not sure why my indent do not show so I spaced)

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Write an essay in which you show how the character's relationship to the past contributes to the meaning of the work as a whole.

When one encounters a painful experience the natural response is to lock it away hoping that the memory will not resurface. However, though one believes the memory if gone, the memory subconsciously affects that person's actions. In the book Beloved by Ton Morrison, Sethe is a woman whose repressed traumatizing experiences negatively affect her present activities. Sethe's painful memories of the past serve as a way for Morrison to allow readers to put the pieces together and reinforce the idea that the past is present and still very much alive.

During a conversation with Paul D and Sethe, the memory of the schoolteacher's boys taking Sethe's milk was triggered. Though it happened quite some time from the present, the memory is still fresh and alive in Sethe's mind. The effects are seen in Sethe's connection with her daughter, Denver. Her childlike nature and Sethe's lack of connection with her puts a strain on their relationship. The reason for this leads back to Sethe's stolen milk; Morrison does not directly state the reason, but readers can infer that Sethe's ability to raise her children and provide the nourishment they needed was also taken from her. The memory of Sethe's stolen milk constantly looms around her and her actions cause a juxtaposition with the past and present-as she continued to suppress the past, the more it appears in her daily life.

Suppressing a painful memory can bring temporary relief. But once that relief subsides the emotions can feel as real as the moment they were experienced. For Sethe, guilt is an emotion tied with her act of infanticide. The vexed spirit of Beloved resides in 124 and serves as a constant reminder for Sethe of her past. Beloved also represents an aspect of Sethe's unforgiving past. Sethe is forced to deal with Beloved haunting her house until Paul D chases the spirit out. Once again, Sethe's past is repressed, but with the help of another person. While one believed that Beloved was gone for good, Morrison resurrects her, but this time as a person. This inevitably forces Sethe to neglect her present life with Denver and obsess over trying to appease the needs of the past in the form of Beloved. In doing so, Sethe does not face the past, but attempts to make up for what she did and attempts once again to suppress her past.

Sethe's memories of her past and present become so intertwined that she can't seem to tell the difference between the two. When Mr. Bodwin comes in a wagon to take Sethe to her first day of work, Sethe is instantly brought back to past and believes Mr. Bodwin is there to harm her. Though schoolteacher and Mr. Bodwin have different personalities, the fact that they're both white men scared Sethe. The memory of Sethe killing Beloved is reversed-instead of killing her children to save them, Sethe attempts to kill the one who she believes will harm her. Sethe relived the day she killed Beloved. Morrison's overall theme is once again illustrated-the past never truly dies. This past can also return with a vengeance if buried continually, as witnessed with Beloved.

Sethe's past was never truly dead; it was always around her, negatively affecting her daily life. Sethe's past was so traumatizing that she forced herself to repress it. When Sethe finally accepted and faced her past, a great weight was lifted off her shoulders. Sethe's past served as a way for Morrison to reinforce the idea that the repressed past was still very much alive, not only in Sethe's present life, but also in the lives of many Black Americans today.

Scholarship / "Bless you child" - Vanderbilt Merit Scholarship essay [3]

Hello! The prompt for the Cornelius Vanderbilt essay is listed below along with the essay! Please be honest, and offer constructive criticism! It would really help! Please also let me know if i addressed the prompt! (500 words max, I believe)

While each student will eventually select at least one area of concentrated study, the College of Arts and Science is committed to introducing every student to a broad range of subjects.

Which academic interests and/or passions might be a part of your academic journey at Vanderbilt and why?

A comforter. I held the title proudly and smiled and exited the Blood Drive meeting room. Finally, I would be able to show my passion for others. It would be new to me, especially as a freshman who viewed high school as a Hierarchy -I was on the bottom. However, that order would break when I knew I could just as useful and passionate as the seniors on top.

(new paragraph) Becoming a comforter was the biggest irony for me. I have been afraid of the mere sight of needles ever since I was a child-so how was I even supposed to comfort a person who was just as scared as I was? Allowing that fear of needles to shroud my ability to help others was a negative. Bracing myself for the worst, I approached a middle age man whom the nurses were preparing to give blood. Perspiration skimmed his brows and his hands were shaking. Glancing over at the needle the nurse held, I could feel my body joining in the movements of the donor. Swallowing my fear, I put on a genuine smile and began to engage in small conversation with the man. The small talk grew and grew until we both began to tell jokes. Not only did I successfully avert the man's attention from the needle, but he also did the same for me. If he could become oblivious to the needle and gladly give his blood for a greater good, then so could I.

(new paragraph)My passion for being a comforter is what I use outside of the Blood Drive. Using it in my every day life has become somewhat like my second nature. The image of smiling man with a needle in his still looms in my thoughts; that day I helped him over come his fear as well as mine. I'm fervently excited and anxious to pursue community service projects in a warm college atmosphere where I'll be able to further that drive to helping others.

ALSO...I HAVE AN UPDATED VERSION. It would be very helpful to know which of the two sound better..

As a child my passion has always been to help others, nothing made me happier than to hear someone say "Bless you child", after I've done something to help them. My passion for helping and supporting others as led me to become involved in the Blood Drive committee at my high school.

My role on the committee is a Comforter. I have been a member since my freshman year and it has been the most fulfilling and rewarding experience of my life.

Becoming a comforter was the biggest irony for me, as I have always been afraid of the mere sight of needles. How then was I supposed to comfort a person who was just as scared as I was? I eventually made a commitment to myself that I would never allow the fear of anything, including needles, to shroud my ability to help others.

(NEW PARAGRAPH) I remember the very first time, I had to play my role, it was the first blood drive of the school year. Bracing myself for the worst, I approached a middle age man whom the nurses were preparing for his blood donation.

Perspiration skimmed his brows and his hands were shaking. Glancing over at the needle the nurse held, I could feel my body joining in the movements of the donor. Swallowing my fear, I put on a genuine smile and began to engage in small conversation with the man. The small talk grew and grew until we both began to tell jokes. Not only did I successfully avert the man's attention from the needle, but he also did the same for me. If he could become oblivious to the needle and gladly give his blood for a greater good, then so could I. This became my first time as a blood donor also.

(NEW PARAGRAPH)My role as comforter far extends the blood drive committee; I've also incorporated it into my everyday life. It has now become second nature for me to reach out to anyone in need - the elderly, children or young adults. My tasks also varies with individuals and or situations, it ranges from running errands, walking a dog, to playing a game of scrabble. It doesn't matter the tasks, just the knowledge that you are doing something to bring happiness to others is a wonderful feeling.

(NEW PARAGRAPH)The image of a smiling man, oblivious to the needle in his arm still looms in my thoughts; that day, I helped him over come his fear as well as mine. I'm fervently excited and anxious to pursue community service projects in college, where I'll be able to further that drive to help others. It is also no surprise that my career goal is to become a doctor.