Posts by maryvisa

maryvisa

Dec 29, 2011

Undergraduate / 'to persevere and to excel' - NYU Supplement [5]

Apart from the choice of selecting college, I believe what I'm doing is more like a process of finding the home of next four year. As I step into the gateway of a college, I become an young adult who will have her brand-new life awaits. And this brand-new life should be congested of possiblities. Even though I have my future planned, still, I want to try variey of different things in the university. So I want to find a place, a place which can ensure no matter what I will love, what I will get involved, I can be embraced and understood. I admire the positive attitude of new idea and personal interests that NYU shows.and I believe the liberal air which spreads all over on the campus of New York University will encourage me pursue the success I yearn for. Drowned in the open atmosphere drived from the New York City, I know I can trust that New York University is the right place for me.

Why NYU? Because I need to fly under her wings, to persevere and to excel.

Any comment or revision will be welcomed! Thx a lot!

maryvisa

Dec 29, 2011

Undergraduate / 'to persevere and to excel' - NYU Supplement [5]

Your essay needs some work.

Thanks for your comment! I will try to find more details to prove I'm the best candidate!

Could you please help me to revise this one?
#2Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice.

My great interests in business never being discovered until I participated a program named Management and Economic Simulation Exercise. Forty students were sperated into 8 teams, and each team was a company. We made the commercial decisions, aiming to make the highest net profit. The "company" which won the highest net profit was the winner. To my excitement, I was elected to be the CEO of our "company" and what was even better was because of the excellent team work under my control, our "company" became to winner.

The exhilaring feeling of getting the maxing profits lingered in my heart for a long time. And since we had to analyse countless charts and data while we were competing, the numbers were no longer dull symbols for me, instead it became meaningful figures which was dancing cheerfully.

But the success in simulation never really satisfied me. So I want to explore more in NYU, majoring the economics which I showed great interests in since I understand that it is the basis of all business study. Realizing the strong academic and great opportunities that NYU offers, I determine that NYU is the best place to start my career. And needless to say, NYC, the center of world, also tempts me to walk in her arms to encounter the infinite possiblities.