Undergraduate / 'my relationship to my brother' - Essay about someone who impacted your life. [2]

Hey this is my first post of an essay I wrote so sorry if I did not get the correct format for this forum. Thanks for any advice in advance =D.

While the list of people who deserve recognition for helping me to get to where I am now is virtually endless, each with the possibility of having an essay dedicated to him or her, perhaps the one who had the most unique impact on my life is my younger brother.

Nine years separate us in time; I remember he was first born, he never wished to sleep inside a crib or do traditional "baby things", indeed he skipped the crawl stage in lieu of practicing to stand and later walk. Constantly crying in frustration as his body simply could not mature fast enough for his tastes, this ambition in him would never dim throughout his growth. He constantly strived to be better, playing chess with me at the age of six and being able to hold his own in ping pong against me at the age of 7. This competitive streak in him at first annoyed me and then terrified me. For a person who was too naïve to comprehend the need for law ("why can't everyone just do the right thing?"), he judged himself harshly when it came to his achievements ("My participation ribbon in this year's fun run doesn't count because everyone gets one"). This innocence mixed with endless drive is what defined him.

Now this is what I truly believe allowed me to excel in my high school years. The relentlessness of my brother was contagious; a small amount rubbed off on me and pressured me to succeed. Though I would not realize it at the time, my own internal motivation was drawn from the infinite wellspring of my brother's. Adults often wonder why young people do not strive to build their own future; it is because the future is a hazy horizon which we are all borne incessantly onward anyways, when we are sheltered and provided for, we cannot see the purpose of it and thus we regrettably do not try. I belonged to this mindset and it took the irrational, unending flame of my brother's passion to push me forward regardless.

Perhaps most the most inspiring moment in my relationship to him was after I had learned that I scored highly on one of the many tests that "are important for the future". Amidst the congratulations and laudations, my brother walked up to me, shining-eyed, said "You're so cool, Jeffery" and gave me a hug in the cute ways only little children can. Then, walking away, he said "But I'll be more awesome when I beat every single one of your records, big brother".

And so brother, as I set off into a new chapter of my life, I hope to leave a legacy albeit small, that perhaps even you will find hard to conquer.

Undergraduate / "the photograph" - MIT: Describe the world you come from (200-250 words) [2]

First of all my essay is around 20 words above limit is this ok, I'm having a lot of trouble elaborating on my topic =(.

Rummaging through boxes in the garage, desperately searching for a sorely misplaced copy of Age of Empires, a 12 year old me stumbles upon a photograph. Despite the fact that this was not my beloved video game, I inspected the find. The photo was in bad condition, the brown leather frame worn, a spider web crack blocked the view of the bottom half of the glass pane. The background was grainy and colors seemed to blur into one another. One of the people in it was a sunny looking woman with a warm smile wearing a plain beige dress, to her right was a young man. He was dressed in a faded oxford blue shirt and had on a pair of awkward looking eyeglasses. Hands at his side, he was smiling meekly at the camera. I saw an inscription in the photo graph reading "College Station". I put the photo back and continued searching.

Now looking back at that photo of my parents, taken shortly after arriving in America to study at Texas A&M with little English and 500 dollars to their name, I realize how extraordinary their odyssey was. Today I see the reason for the young man's shyness and the lady's mirth, for it was an expression of gratitude and hope at being given the opportunity to forge their own path. I feel pride and awe at their accomplishments and this respect pushed me to excel in my endeavors. Taking a quick peek out of his study, a 17 year old teenager catches a glimpse of the same two people smiling triumphantly