Undergraduate / 'My mom' - my commonapp essay about who had impact on ur life [3]

I have tried the topic "describe the person who had impact on ur life". I hope someone could help me edit the essay and most importantly point out the errors!! I know this essay is about 600 words, perhaps you may help me cut it further. in addition, may i know if my essay reveal much about myself? Thank anyone for viewing and commenting on the essay!!

Your response is highly appreciated!!

My Mom

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