TexasGirl2013
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / The white banner; Common app short answer [5]
HI! :)
Well first off, i am not sure what your topic is, but your first sentence doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, and it also seems to be a run-on sentence. You might want to look over it.
Also, where it says "Amid those, there was mine.", i think it would sound better if you said "Amid those, was mine."
"Last several months, from informing representatives of participant schools to conducting the rehearsal of ceremonies, from purchasing colorful balloons for decoration to coming up ideas for "Global Village", I never really slowed down my pace." INSTEAD TRY, "In the last several months, i've been informing representatives of participant schools, conducting the rehearsals of ceremonies, purchasing colorful balloons for decorations, and coming up with ideas for "Global Village", and i have yet to slow down my pace.
Well thats all i could come up with. I hope this helps! :)
HI! :)
Well first off, i am not sure what your topic is, but your first sentence doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, and it also seems to be a run-on sentence. You might want to look over it.
Also, where it says "Amid those, there was mine.", i think it would sound better if you said "Amid those, was mine."
"Last several months, from informing representatives of participant schools to conducting the rehearsal of ceremonies, from purchasing colorful balloons for decoration to coming up ideas for "Global Village", I never really slowed down my pace." INSTEAD TRY, "In the last several months, i've been informing representatives of participant schools, conducting the rehearsals of ceremonies, purchasing colorful balloons for decorations, and coming up with ideas for "Global Village", and i have yet to slow down my pace.
Well thats all i could come up with. I hope this helps! :)