sjaqj04
Apr 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / Biographical sketch on experiences or events with significant effect on you- BYU [4]
I was born on February 13th, 1997 in Seoul, South Korea into an economically well-lived family. Since our family was well-lived, we did not have many economical difficulties or problems but I was not able to enjoy a lot of things I wanted as a child due to a typically strict Asian father. By the time I was about 8-years-old, my parents became divorced and I began to live with my mother. We moved in with relatives from my mother's side and lived with them for a year until we immigrated to Los Angeles. In Los Angeles, my mother had to work until late at night most of the times, so I spent my time playing games at home alone. Since we had just moved into a difference culture with different languages that we were not accustomed to yet, I wasn't able to make many friends at school although there were many kids who spoke the same language as I. I don't remember the specific reasons as to why I wasn't able to make many friends at school but I know that that was what transformed me into the person I am today, a quiet and passive person. Moving to Los Angeles did not only change my character but it also opened my mind and view towards people of other nationalities as a whole. Living in a community where many different cultures rested had a very significant effect as to how I perceived the world and its inhabitants.
Should I organize it with paragraphs or leave it as it is because the application only asked for essay with 250 words max.
The full prompt "Please provide a biographical sketch that highlights experiences, events, situations, or circumstances that have had a significant effect on you becoming the person you are today. (250 words maximum).
I was born on February 13th, 1997 in Seoul, South Korea into an economically well-lived family. Since our family was well-lived, we did not have many economical difficulties or problems but I was not able to enjoy a lot of things I wanted as a child due to a typically strict Asian father. By the time I was about 8-years-old, my parents became divorced and I began to live with my mother. We moved in with relatives from my mother's side and lived with them for a year until we immigrated to Los Angeles. In Los Angeles, my mother had to work until late at night most of the times, so I spent my time playing games at home alone. Since we had just moved into a difference culture with different languages that we were not accustomed to yet, I wasn't able to make many friends at school although there were many kids who spoke the same language as I. I don't remember the specific reasons as to why I wasn't able to make many friends at school but I know that that was what transformed me into the person I am today, a quiet and passive person. Moving to Los Angeles did not only change my character but it also opened my mind and view towards people of other nationalities as a whole. Living in a community where many different cultures rested had a very significant effect as to how I perceived the world and its inhabitants.
Should I organize it with paragraphs or leave it as it is because the application only asked for essay with 250 words max.
The full prompt "Please provide a biographical sketch that highlights experiences, events, situations, or circumstances that have had a significant effect on you becoming the person you are today. (250 words maximum).