Scholarship / Essay for scholarship award for a university in Australia - convincing government to give support [7]

Hello there. This is my essay to convince Australian government to give financial support for my proposed study at one university in their country (Maximum 400 words). I have to propose two universities but must eventually choose one. Please help on how to write better. Thank you.

Q: How did you choose your proposed subject and university?

Public Health is the most relevant subject of study to my current profession. So preparing for advancement in my organisation by seeking to broaden my knowledge and skill set is my top priority. The course will equip me with the knowledge related to foundation in public health practice, health administration, health policy, social causes of health and disease in populations. The objective of the course is to promote health and well-being of entire communities, not just on individual patients, through prevention of disease and injury. I as well as my organization aware that we need to continually adapt and evolve in our role to remain effective and relevant to the country need, if I want to take part in solving the health challenge or thread at present and in the future. Knowing that what I will be doing would improve the lives of others is so satisfying. These are the main reasons I wholeheartedly sought after this course.

The two highest-ranking universities in Australia are Australian National University (ANU) and the University of Melbourne. Apparently, the two are among the world's very best universities. Both were cited for their excellent quality of the academic facilities (e.g. library, laboratories, IT room). Besides "Health & Medical Studies" is one of their strong academic areas. Most important of all, their outstanding course content and teaching criteria are the main factor for my selection.

University of Melbourne was praised for the opportunity that students are exposed to the theory and real practice. Students can also choose to specialise in one or more of the advanced public health training key areas (e.g. Sexual Health, Epidemiology & Biostatistics, etc.). The professors are highly experience and knowledgeable in this field. Similarly, Australian National University (ANU) is great and is unique for its top-grade Research and Development program, for instance, medical research. Also ANU leaves it optional for student to take breadth subjects. ANU regularly prepares student led seminars where leadership skills are developed and we can share what we know among ourselves throughout the years.

With all the above strengths, having the chance to study at either one is a perfect opportunity.

Letters / "Recommendation letter" for employee who wants to pursue his study and need to apply for an award [2]

I am drafting a recommendation letter as I want to apply for scholarship for Master Degree in Health. My boss is a very kind person; he will just agree with and sign whatever I put forward to him. Help me write better, please. I might miss important information that should have been included.

I think the scholarship is looking for following qualities from applicants: leadership, one who drive change, one who contribute to security and economic growth for sustainable development, one who build link between his home the destination country. They will access the applicant for their professional and personal quality, academic competence, and potential impact on development challenges.

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To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to serve as my recommendation for Mr D.C who is under my supervision. For more than seven years, he has been with the XYZ Organization in Cambodia to provide comprehensive support services for HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Blood Transfusion team which I am currently leading.

During the period, Mr D.C consistently demonstrated a strong work ethic and a dedication to success. His work produced high quality results. He can communicate effectively with our counterparts on daily basis and thus making his support a very valuable part in our effort at providing the Cambodian government with technical and financial assistance. Though Mr D.C is my assistant, he is apparently in an unofficial leadership role. Many of his peers seek his advice and support. He exhibits ... [I tried to find example, like saying "he is always there for them" but it may sound awkward] and is quite comfortable in the role. He is the type of person who is receptive to new ideas and relentlessly seeking opportunities for continuous learning and professional growth.

His strong performance in XYZ Organization is a good indication of how he would perform in other places and I highly recommend him for any endeavor he chooses to pursue.

If I can be of any further assistance, or provide you with any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.
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Imaging you are the selection committee, what do you think about the quality of the letter after reading it:
- Mediocre letter: Nobody write an outright bad letter of recommendation, but experienced person will know that this letter was produced for the sake of an employee's request. So it's bad in my opinion.

- Good letter: It might not show anything exceptional about the person. But it may actually help.
- Outstanding letter: We should aim for this one, please help.