Posts by NurulNaval

NurulNaval

Apr 21, 2017

Scholarship / Scholarship Questions - what are your intentions after graduating from school? [3]

Hi vasillisia,

You can explain further related to your role, mention the company name you want tp join, why your country needs your position, give a clear reason and detail explanation.

NurulNaval

Apr 21, 2017

Writing Feedback / Writing Task I People living in three different countries of U.S. [3]

From the grammatical side, a partical is missing "human" should be "a human". The "quantity " word seem not match with the sentences, you need to state "number instead of quantity"

For 1st paragraph : Need to revise the Paraphrase, you just change the structure from active to passive, try to use a synonim or advance vocab to increase the writing score.

For 2nd paragraph : Overview, you need to explain the trend of the chart generally.
For the 3rd and 4th paragraph there is not major issue. However, it will be better if you use linking words to beutify the sentences.

NurulNaval

Apr 18, 2017

Scholarship / I choose Subsea Engineering at the Curtin University, because... [2]

Dear Friends,

My name is Nurul, currently, I am preparing for my scholarship submission. Following that, could you please help me to review my essay such as the grammatical, contain etc?

Thank you in advance :)

Question :
How did you choose your proposed course and institution*? (2000 character)

Answer:

the deepwater solutions which interest me so much

There are three major things that attract me to learn about the Subsea Engineering course. Firstly, I graduated from Institute of Technology Sepuluh Nopember (ITS), majoring Naval Architect and Marine Engineering as a scholar awardee which is fully funded by Indonesia Port and Maritime Government Company during my Bachelor degree. After graduated, I work at oil and gas company for almost 4 years as Subsea Engineer, my worked experiences confirmed my intention to develop my knowledge and skill in Subsea Engineering as the need for deeper understanding in the philosophy of Subsea Engineering as well as the way to manage the systems. This is highly required in every single subsea project development especially for those who work as a project engineer which is one of my dreams in the future. Secondly, this course will enable me to build an international network as my intangible asset, by gathering with colleagues and lecturers, while studying in Australia especially with the people in oil and gas business field will becomes an advantage for future collaboration between Indonesia and other institution around the globe to develop subsea issue in practical or academic term. Lastly, Indonesia government really put attention to oil and gas exploration. Today, oil and gas explorations in shallow water has about to reach its end, as there are only few more shallow water fields left to be explored. Consequently, expansion to deeper water fields is necessary, in which has been tried and succeeded for the last few decades. Subsea production system is one of the deepwater solutions which interest me so much as it is the most effective way to deal with deepwater oil and gas exploration and production compared to the other systems. Furthermore, I choose Subsea Engineering at the Curtin University, because Curtin University recognised as the global Centre of Excellence for Subsea development and operations, it has a larger concentration of Subsea companies in the world.