ndog92
Sep 1, 2009
Undergraduate / University of Illinois Essays (academic interest, work experience, service) [4]
I wrote these essays relatively quickly.
Any comments and help would be GREATLY appreciated
Also on both essays i am like 100 words over the limit so any suggestions to shorten them would be excellent
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read these and suggest somthing.
Essay number 1
In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.
Ever since I was young, I could easily tell that I preferred the math and science side of education opposed to the liberal arts. The first subject that captivated me was Mathematics. Ever since elementary school, I was always ahead of the normal math curriculum. I started Freshman year with Honors Algebra II/Trigonometry and excelled at it. I realized that I really enjoyed solving math problems, so I joined Math Team, and I have received many awards at local competitions, and I attended the State Competition at your school every year. After receiving a 5 on my Calculus BC test last year, I am currently taking Calculus III, which is the Mathematica based class that is offered through your school.
ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
I play the unique sport of cricket, which is the internationally played sport that was introduced to be through my Indian cultural background. I was born and raised here in America, and I was never really exposed to cricket at a young age. However, because my parents were immigrants from India, they ordered international T.V. in order to see the World Cup of Cricket. We had a huge party at our house with all my friends to watch the YEAR finals, and this was the first time I really watched the sport in action.
Eventually our interest grew, and we started an organization, in which kids in our age group could play cricket. We started off by just playing with a simple bat and a tennis ball, but eventually we wanted to play the game with more intensity, but we needed an actual cricket field to play on. We went to our city council every week and tried to persuade them to build it, by signing petition, and telling our friends and family to join us every week until they finally agreed.
Ever since then, my friends and I created a team and practiced every summer. Every year we go to tournaments around our area in Chicago and Detroit. In 2004, I was selected to be on the Midwest Under-15 team to play in a National Tournament in San Jose, California. Here I got to meet and become good friends with many new people and increase my ability in the sport. I continue to practice with my local team, and because there are no nearby teams our age, we currently play in an adult league.
Our team also took an initiative, and taught little kids these past summers. Every week we get around 10 kids and we taught them some of the skills that we have learned, and let them have lots of fun. This has taught me valuable leadership qualities and how to organize a group of people.
I wrote these essays relatively quickly.
Any comments and help would be GREATLY appreciated
Also on both essays i am like 100 words over the limit so any suggestions to shorten them would be excellent
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read these and suggest somthing.
Essay number 1
In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.
Ever since I was young, I could easily tell that I preferred the math and science side of education opposed to the liberal arts. The first subject that captivated me was Mathematics. Ever since elementary school, I was always ahead of the normal math curriculum. I started Freshman year with Honors Algebra II/Trigonometry and excelled at it. I realized that I really enjoyed solving math problems, so I joined Math Team, and I have received many awards at local competitions, and I attended the State Competition at your school every year. After receiving a 5 on my Calculus BC test last year, I am currently taking Calculus III, which is the Mathematica based class that is offered through your school.
ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
I play the unique sport of cricket, which is the internationally played sport that was introduced to be through my Indian cultural background. I was born and raised here in America, and I was never really exposed to cricket at a young age. However, because my parents were immigrants from India, they ordered international T.V. in order to see the World Cup of Cricket. We had a huge party at our house with all my friends to watch the YEAR finals, and this was the first time I really watched the sport in action.
Eventually our interest grew, and we started an organization, in which kids in our age group could play cricket. We started off by just playing with a simple bat and a tennis ball, but eventually we wanted to play the game with more intensity, but we needed an actual cricket field to play on. We went to our city council every week and tried to persuade them to build it, by signing petition, and telling our friends and family to join us every week until they finally agreed.
Ever since then, my friends and I created a team and practiced every summer. Every year we go to tournaments around our area in Chicago and Detroit. In 2004, I was selected to be on the Midwest Under-15 team to play in a National Tournament in San Jose, California. Here I got to meet and become good friends with many new people and increase my ability in the sport. I continue to practice with my local team, and because there are no nearby teams our age, we currently play in an adult league.
Our team also took an initiative, and taught little kids these past summers. Every week we get around 10 kids and we taught them some of the skills that we have learned, and let them have lots of fun. This has taught me valuable leadership qualities and how to organize a group of people.
