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Posts by Jeannie
Joined: Sep 13, 2009
Last Post: Jan 10, 2010
Threads: 10
Posts: 214  

From: USA

Displayed posts: 224 / page 4 of 6
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Jeannie   
Nov 26, 2009
Undergraduate / "Opening up to others", EAOP program - Needs opinions [4]

Hi, Polly!

I have to tell you that the response to prompt #1 is really over-the-top depressing - it borders on begging sympathy, but I get the sense that your intention was different...I get that. But it has GOT to go.

It is one thing to express hardship and angst from life experiences, it is another thing to spend half of the first part of the essay beating that long-dead horse.

Say it and move along.

I have some ideas...and I hope I don't sound mean; I am only telling you how the first part of the essay made me feel...really bad and depressed. I will be back tomorrow to make some suggestions, but my dog is begging me for a walk. Meanwhile, re-read that as objectively as you can...do you see? It needs violin and cello accompaniment :) Don't be upset, my intention is truth in jest.

Blue skies!

Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 26, 2009
Faq, Help / Is it safe to post my essay here? Or should I be worried about Plagiarism? [174]

Beware, though, when putting something you learn into your own words that you really put it in your own words. If your words too closely resemble another's, it is called paraphrasing and should be cited as such.

The above post reminded me of how I wanted to expand an earlier post.Paraphrasing is a completely acceptable form of citation in academic writing, and I think I got the point across that the original author needs to be cited regardless of how you change the words around; stealing ideas is just as bad as stealing a quote...I wanted to combine this thought with my other thought about self-plagiarizing.

All words have become words for a reason. The reason is that everyone uses them. I was once taken to task for stating my learned opinion about a subject in which I am fluent. The instructor told me in the feedback that I did not cite my sourse. My source was me! I know this and I am telling you how it is! ...Made me crazy...So I replied that it came form me and my own experience. "Roses grow well well-drained soil, and tend to acquire a fungus called "black spot" if kept in a boggy or moist environment." < I just made this example up from my own trial and error - my own knowledge. When I asked her how to cite my own knowledge, she replied in her snooty way, that I was neither a published author nor a recognized expert in the filed, so I would have to cite someone who said, basically, the same thing I just did! Tricky...So, being the me that I am, and being the holder of a couple (married) names, I used my other name as a personal communication citation, and said exactly what I said..teehee. Basically I was talking to myself SO There! Haha! Seriously, is that cheating? to her, most likely, to me, no! It was MY knowledge. Kevin remarked, in a different post, that "ethereal garden" is a lovely concept (that I made up) but had surely been used before...

The laborious point I am trying to make about plagiarism is that if you know daggum well they are not your thoughts or word-groupings - if it follows too closely the ideas of another writer, you are lying to yourself if you still insist on submitting it as your own. Does that make sense?? I make myself crazy sometimes...Blue skies! Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 25, 2009
Writing Feedback / Forward or first page - A Book I am Writing [18]

There are other fish in the sea.
Other fish are in the sea.

It sounds like you are talking about passive voice vs. active...hmmm. I am always and forever using the passive voice. I need to make a practice essay using all active voice...it's really hard for me to see those subtleties.

A skydiver leaves no mark; no wake...

By George, I think you're on to something, Kevin! Thanks!
Jeannie   
Nov 25, 2009
Faq, Help / Is it safe to post my essay here? Or should I be worried about Plagiarism? [174]

I read a plagiarism tutorial and it said that you can "plagiarize" YOUR OWN work if you submit it to two different places.

Just to clarify, Mustafa, yes there is such a thing as "self-plagiarism," but it is in the spirit of ...well...cheating. For instance, if I took something I wrote from another class (say technical writing), and presented it as new work for another class (say Creative Writing), this would be self-plagiarism (and laziness to boot! :). However, if I had to withdraw from a class after three weeks but had already done much of the required work, I could resubmit that coursework for that same class on that assignment, and it would not be self-plagiarism because I never received credit for it. I could even submit the exact same article to many media outlets (or colleges) for publishing (or acceptance), and that would not be self-plagiarism. It would be silly to think I have to write a whole new book for each publishing company...see? Just wanted to make that clear lest we set up extreme paranoia. :) How dit it go with your collaboration, BTW?
Jeannie   
Nov 23, 2009
Writing Feedback / Forward or first page - A Book I am Writing [18]

There are, there is... yeah, they're wrong at the start, but I don't fully understand why.

Neither, apparently, does the University of North Carolina. Note the first word in part four, "How to Organize a Paragraph"

unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/paragraphs.html

(jeannie rolls eyes and whistles a jaunty tune)

I know it's busy season, so I will leave this for now. :) but I'll be back...
Jeannie   
Nov 23, 2009
Faq, Help / New Innovations in EF Intriguing? [12]

The link did work.

...fainted dead away.

Teehee, and take ou tthe contractions because they come out like this >I#&@*ve...not kidding, wait till you see mine. Which reminds me, I have to go change it.

Good luck, and thanks for all your help, I will check out that site (the link didn't work, haha, but I am a master at copy & paste)
Jeannie   
Nov 23, 2009
Faq, Help / New Innovations in EF Intriguing? [12]

Hi, Jonathan! Why don't you join our family of contributors? You give good feedback, and I seem to see your name quite a bit. You will then be able to post in the Moderator/Contributor forum. I will get you the link in a sec...hopefully...I am bad at links for strange and various reasons.

Meanwhile I will copy and paste your question over there so someone is sure to see it.

Blue skies!

Jeannie

OK, Try this, if it doesn't work go to Essay Forums (top left) and scroll to bottom of page and click on EF Contributors. There, it will tell you what the criteria are and how to apply, etc.
Jeannie   
Nov 23, 2009
Undergraduate / "the Youth Ministry" - Help with the ending of my UC Essay? [4]

This program has been a huge part of my life these past few years and I know much of my hard-work has paid off. I have gotten my mother to also become involved in the church and she, as well, converted to Catholicism. In addition, in the beginning of November 2009, I received the yearly _____ Award for dedicating and committing much of my time to this church.
I feel that my dedicated and compassionate personality will be very useful in the future with my career. I wish to go into the health/ medical field because I really love to interact and help other people.

Your ending is almost complete! One more statement about the role that your school had in shaping your dreams and aspirations to pursue a career in health care, and you will be done. Perhaps something along the lines of the opportunities you were given and the demands placed on you showed that you are capable and competent, and the trust you were shown bolstered your conviction to continue to provide guidance, courage, and strength to others...education is a way to put yourself in a position to use your God-given talents.

Watch your overuse of colons and semi-colons in paragraph 5. I am a master at making sentences too long, haha! Use commas for items in a series (an "item" can be more than one word as long as it is one thing), and only use a colon or semi-colon once in a sentence - if you feel compelled to throw an unruly amount of punctuation in there, the sentence is too long. I am talking from experience and guidance here...

Can I get a witness??

Blue skies!

Jeannie

This is very good, Jessica! There are some errors that a final read-through edit will bring to light, but overall, an excellent essay.
Jeannie   
Nov 22, 2009
Writing Feedback / Forward or first page - A Book I am Writing [18]

That is the first time I've ever used the word behooves.

Ha! The other day I thought to myself, "you're being kinda truculent, get over yourself." I have never had occasion to use the word "truculent" in writing (some words are better left in our heads, but I like "behoove" ...though I rarely write that one either...)

avoid using it at the start of a sentence just because some readers or critics would use it against you.

Shhh!, there are grammar cops afoot!

Ha ha, ethereal garden is awesome. It is dramatic if you use it alone, but as a well developed concept it would be great. Sounds like something that must have been used before, but if not, you should buy it as a domain name, ha ha.

>snicker < :)
Jeannie   
Nov 22, 2009
Undergraduate / Compare taking traditional classes (classroom only) to online classes [4]

Hi, Archana,
I began trying to help edit this, but I have to be honest; most of the sentences are structured in such a way as to render them incomprehensible. My advise is to write each sentence again as a very simple sentence - a noun, a verb, maybe a modifier - and then re-read your essay and organize the ideas. After you do this, you can build on the sentences to form more coherent thoughts and pictures.I hope this helps! I will be looking for a revised copy to help with.

Jeannie

Psst< I have been an online student for over a year, and I can tell you with utter conviction that traditional classroom instruction is far superior unless you enjoy paying a ton of money to teach yourself everything. Your writing will only improve if you work really hard at learning it on your own; by the time a "facilitator" gets back to you, your homework is late...10% off for each day late! Furthermore, you get your grade and feedback two weeks after you handed it in, and by then you have already made the same errors on papers you had to submit in the interim. It's like a nightmare, frankly. I would not recommend it except to those who are willing to put in four hours a day, seven days a week per class, and who are exceptionally self-motivated and have the skills needed to write >4000 words per week without warm-bodied instruction. If you or anyone knows of a University that offers a different scenario, please tell me so I can switch! :) Thank God for this site!
Jeannie   
Nov 21, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL ESSAY " Shools should ask students to evaluate their teachers" [13]

EF_Kevin
Who told you I was rebellious? o:)
Feedback, in many cases, must be taken relatively. The "teacher" I spoke of was horrible at grammar, for instance, so I had to just shake off her feedback. It angered me, though, to have points taken away for no reason when I knew I might need them for when I really mess up.

If I had a student whose integrity or motive was suspect, I would just discount their critique, see? But I do believe in healthy and respectful criticism.

...Sorry to hijack the post, hong, but your essay started a good discussion!
Jeannie   
Nov 21, 2009
Poetry / Am I getting the metrics?? [24]

It would be very, very odd if a poem you churned out just happened to have regular meter

I
know!

I saw it, though and decided I could work it into a metered form because the thoughts are already there in my head. Now that I have a new toy, I am going to see if I can't re-write it. I think it is ghastly as it is anyway. :) baby steps...

Psst< you explain meter very well.

BTW did you see the question about the senryu sequence?

'Till later!

Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 21, 2009
Undergraduate / "interest in math" - Describe the world you come from [6]

Me too! I just woke up (I'm a night owl). Yes, I meant for you to end the paragraph there because it is also a good tie-in for the next paragraph. Besides, that is where you ended it anyway...

Mistakes don't always show up when we read our own writing, that's what is so great about this site. I would be lost without someone else to read over my papers. So far, my dog is just being stubborn in her refusal to help me, but I am working on her...

I will be back after work to read/edit some more.

Truth be told, Xie, I picked your essay because you already did the hard work. :) Your writing is better than most, and English isn't even your primary language! How cool is that! I hope you will stick around and help some of us with our papers.

Blue skies!

Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 21, 2009
Grammar, Usage / whats the difference between somones and someone's ? [17]

[quote=Jeannie]Joeyson:
Someone's= Someone is.
Is someones even a word?

Yes, it is a misgrammatisized word. :D[/quote

Me thinks it is a word, "someones"
that holds no meaning really
possessive it is not, nor mult
Unless you count tom-foolery

Only with poetic license...
Jeannie   
Nov 21, 2009
Poetry / Am I getting the metrics?? [24]

This is something I wrote a bit ago, and I think I may have inadvertently stumbled (and stepped on) the metrics...

Sweating for the last few hours, trying not to think about the heat index
It's just gonna smother me!
Don't move, and listen.

Scratching, skittering, peeping, hooting,
peeping, yowling, chirping.
All those creatures adapt and sing
in shade they are a'lurking
Nighttime comes with a blessed sigh
and Boogie goes a'prowling
"Out of my Garden!", I exclaim,
when I hear no "peeps" or Yowling.
"That's yer Garden over there, and this is mine," I said!
yer not to go and mess up mine when that's your messy bed!
The frogs and lizards are my friends, I'll not put up with roughness!
Terrier's in yer blood, I know.
Over There to prove yer toughness!
Jeannie   
Nov 21, 2009
Writing Feedback / Forward or first page - A Book I am Writing [18]

I think it actually is not correct to start a sentence with "There is..."

Can I use "There are...?"

There are no peanuts in the basket; quit lookin'!...as an example.

There are no marks that are left by a skydiver. aarrrgh! It sounds cumbersome that way.

If I get paid a bazzilion dollars, would that make the grammar go away? :)

There are no marks that a skydiver leaves; no vapor trail, no tracks in the snow, no wake in the water. You would not even know we had been there if not for the blue sky that whispers of the sweet, secret passing of souls through its magnificence.

Is that right? because I really want to move on here...:D Gotta heckofalot going on, ya know? Now, on to the other thing...

The blue sky is loud and cannot keep a secret very well from those who choose to listen. I remember every word for I have inhaled its every dying syllable.

I like it. Y'all?

I appreciate the input!

Blue skies,

Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 21, 2009
Poetry / Am I getting the metrics?? [24]

I had to remove that poem, because we are not allowed to have any content here that appears on other sites, sorry!! But, I found the link.

Yer the bomb! My bad, I forgot. I saved that in my "beautiful writing by someone else" file. I got it from the Tampa Tribune, haha (I hate that paper, but sometimes they do good). Thanks, Kevin, you are a peach, I am really happy you approve. :) Now I will go out and try some really daring stuff!

Pheelyks: I just read that poem by Dylan Thomas you said to read. Of course I had heard about it, but I had never read it...I grieve and wonder at the loss my ignorance has caused because that was amazing! Then again, I might not have "gotten it" back when. (time is a strange and wonderful thing, ya?) What brilliance! Gimme more!

Thanks again, now I am off to google The Raven.

OK, I'm back. Crimany, the guy was mad! As disturbingly tranquil the whole poem made me, sleep shall not step foot and save me, for I hear a flutter's breath, knocking at my door. snoring, knocking, scratching at my leg, surely not the door, the dog it is, nothing more!

K. Time to take the Boogie for a walk.

Awesome teachering I been a'gettin' here!

Blue skies! Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 21, 2009
Poetry / Am I getting the metrics?? [24]

Thanks again for even more useful info! I have written poetry for a long time, never knowing there were ever any rules. haha! I still like that way best, but I want to know so I learn...

I have a poem published on poetry.com! Haha! They want me to pay for the book...sad to think I was really excited at first...

It is difficult to get a poem published (for real), and it must take a great deal of work for form poetry especially; that one little bit up there took me a half hour. I really appreciate your comments and your time.

I have one more question to do with your comments. When you spoke about the metrics not necessarily rhyming and all the different forms it may take, I was thinking about haiku. Actually, just writing an iambic sequence reminded me both of limerick, in a simple way that takes no thought, and haiku because I was counting out the syllables on my fingers. Have you ever heard of nrenyu sequence in haiku?? I may not be spelling it correctly, but I have a poem saved that I love, and I could never figure out the "math" as I called it then. Then again...I stink at math. It is: Oh, senryu. ok.

Marry Me

[b](REMOVED)
Here is the link to the poem:

poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=181954

Isn't that really beautiful? I would love to learn that poetry! It just flows perfectly to me.
Jeannie   
Nov 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / essay about Siddhartha's Teachers [3]

Siddhartha is the story about a man who goes searching for his inner life. Siddhartha goes through a series of changes and realizations as he attempts to achieve his goal. Throughout the story Siddhartha undergoes many experiences manydifferent sides of life, and changes his idea of how to reach enlightenments several times. On this long journey Siddhartha becomes a member of different groups. Siddhartha learns many new things from being in this group about finding self and life in general. He learns many new things from teachers and teaching. Throughout his long life journey Siddhartha is exposed to teachers and their teaching: < you just said that beautiful courtesan Kamala, a rich merchant Kamaswami and the Ferryman Vasuveda.

I have to be honest. Your use of the word "many" makes me wonder, "many what?" The same is true with "different." This opening paragraph needs more substance. Read it again, and any time you say "many" answer the question, "many what" and incorporate those things into the paragraph. You don't have to tell the whole story in the first paragraph, just enough to intrigue the audience. "many" is not enough for me.

I will be back tomorrow night to read this again and post some more suggestions.
Blue skies! Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 20, 2009
Poetry / Am I getting the metrics?? [24]

Hey! I think I got it! Yay! I went and checked the rules again and saw that I had veered offcourse quite a bit. Thanks for the reminder, pheelyks! How is this? Iambic pentameter:

The sky marks true those times of flight unseen
to lose a breath at wonders begs to mean
we notice now a Truth so fair and bold
a lifetime in the clouds awaits the old.

And souls who would not see this fairest Truth
those wretched lives who lived in saddest days
spend ever in the wasted hands of proof
'till blueness harks and burns away the haze.

The one thing I didn't know was the part about the 10 syllables, that helps. But must it always rhyme? And as you see, I switched up my rhyme from one verse to the next. Is that OK? I am wondering how strict a form it is.
Jeannie   
Nov 20, 2009
Undergraduate / "Why are you considering The Ohio State University?" [2]

Now, the essay is OK, but it sounds too much like you are polishing apples. For instance, how do you know the president of the school is humble? Do you know him personally? Tone down the gratuities and focus more on the facts...by the way, what is the prompt for this essay? I could help you more with ideas if I knew what you were supposed to be writing about. Let me know.

Blue skies!

Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 19, 2009
Writing Feedback / Forward or first page - A Book I am Writing [18]

blue skies... that's so cool. is that your motto?

"Blue skies!" is a skydiver's way of saying so long and wishing all the best...Save your money and sign your bank account over to a responsible third party before skydiving...it is addicting. :)

Blue skies!

Now back to those changes...

Changed:
There is no mark that a skydiver leaves; no vapor trail, no tracks in the snow, no wake in the water. You would not even know we had been there if not for the blue sky that whispers of the sweet, secret passing of souls through its magnificence. The blue sky is loud and cannot keep a secret very well from those who choose to listen. I remember every word for I have passed through that other realm far above the world. I have seen the light from other souls. I have witnessed the silent screaming of joy, and I have tasted my own love. I was born here.

Is that better, or am I taking "corny" to new heights?
Jeannie   
Nov 19, 2009
Writing Feedback / Forward or first page - A Book I am Writing [18]

I remember every word for I have passed through that beauty

Yeah, I didn't like "beauty" either. It was just a space-holder 'till I thought of something...

Hmmm. How about:

...for I have danced in its ethereal garden...'k now I'm getting overly dramatic, I will think some more on it. I will also work on tying the beginning and ending together better. I have to leave the first sentence alone for now because I am out of ideas that sound pretty. :)

Thanks!
Jeannie   
Nov 18, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL ESSAY " Shools should ask students to evaluate their teachers" [13]

Very true, Kevin. I will also point out that sending your teacher's feedback back to them graded for grammar and punctuation errors is not a good idea...

Seriously, though, if I were a teacher who was not very comprehensive when giving feedback and no one ever told me, how would I endeavor to change? An instructor in my last block of classes kept taking points off my essay under the rubric prompt "sentences are clear and concise," but she refused to tell me why so I kept making the same mistake over and over (until I posted it here, thank you). If more students had spoken up, perhaps she might have changed her ways. Most teachers are responsive to respectful criticism, she was an exception.
Jeannie   
Nov 17, 2009
Undergraduate / Biology, Diversity UC Prompt #1 [5]

...You asked for it...teehee, no, I thought it was great! But there are a couple of teensy problems, as I am sure you know...So let's get to it!

Having lived in the Silicon Valley my entire life , I am placed in a melting pot of ethnicities originating from all across the world. As a result, I have been exposed to many different people (just to get this started up front...people range from areas, not ethnicities or cultures. Australia is a place not a culture, get me?) , ranging from Australians to Filipinos the Philippine Islands (a comma is not needed here because you have a sentence instead of items in a series) and even South Africans,(start a new sentence)each contributing to the mixture of cultures and traditions that make up the constantly changing Silicon Valley today. This broad spectrum of diversity has played a big part in the shaping of my own dreams, in which I can truly appreciate the changes and differences between humans that make an individual so unique.

So far so good! Don't be discouraged by all the red marks, it is the only color I have here <snicker I love your thoughts, and this is an excellent idea!

Blue skies! Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / Forward or first page - A Book I am Writing [18]

pcvrz34g
You know the old saying, "don't feed the cat and it won't come around?" Well, now you done it!
It gets much worse because I am frankly exhausted with it. It is a good story, though...I just need to quit nit-picking at it. jeez!

Thanks, pcvrz34g, I am glad to hear someone likes it (I was always afraid to ask, so you are the first to give me any feedback...gives me hope that I won't always spend my time staring at my kitten sleeping in the litter box...;)).
Jeannie   
Nov 17, 2009
Writing Feedback / Forward or first page - A Book I am Writing [18]

When y'all get a minute (or an hour) tell me if this is really boring or if I have only read it too many times while editing. There is quite a bit more, but I will spare you that for now, teehee! Be advised, it is 763 words, so grab your hot tea and cookies first!

Cielos Azul

Forward or first page



There is no mark that a skydiver leaves; no vapor trail, no tracks in the snow, no wake in the water. You would not even know we had been there if not for the blue sky that whispers of the sweet, secret passing of souls through its magnificence. The blue sky is loud and cannot keep a secret very well from those who choose to listen. I remember every word for I have passed through that beauty. I have seen the light from other souls. I have witnessed the silent screaming of joy, and I have tasted my own love. I was born here.

I was a little girl with the first dawning of innocence being slowly broken by years. I wanted so much to feel the Truth. I wanted to be free and untouched by ugliness. I would sway in the tree-tops for hours, bending the branch to the very cusp of its snap. I wanted to know that God was there. I wanted everyone to know that I was not afraid.

I was terrified. Not of the tree or of its branches breaking, but of living a life without the hope of ever being good enough. Most of all, I wanted to be happy. The tree made me happy. The cold-metal taste of the sky made my tongue bless my ancient eyes, and the dark, secret, flesh of the highest leaves caused my thighs to grab tightly. I am old now.

I have noticed the words "use to be" leaving my lips often throughout the day.

Used to be, I plucked my own tomatoes off the vine and ate them where I stood, or brought them to the stand where we sold the fruits (and vegetables) of our labor. Most of the time, we just played and picked, laughed and planted, plowed and moaned. It was a very good time.

Our fields in Ellington, Connecticut, weren't really ours; they belonged to our Landlord, Samuel Fuches. Yes, that was really his name and we made fun of it too! He was a very nice old man. He always had a hat perched just above his brow, in imminent danger of falling off, and a business suit that was worn and frayed around the cuffs but respectable and rather grand nonetheless, and he gave me a dollar for washing the windows of his Cadillac.

Though grownups never actually told me what Mr. Fuches was there for (and I was shooed from any proximity of their adult parley), I knew what was going on, and I felt the tension and the sweat of mommy's anxiety; nevertheless, he let us plant and plow, and my mom always came up with the rent somehow. One year there would be wheat on one side, tobacco on the other; the next, it would be corn and...well...more corn

The tobacco years were the best. I liked the tobacco people. Most of them were hippies or "Spanish". Off-season, I slept many a night in the tobacco barn's rafters watching the bats and owls catch bugs and mice. When there were tobacco-pickers, there were thirsty folk. My Kool-Aid stand was a hit! The bonus was getting to meet all those nice hippies, learning how to count to ten in Spanish, and finding the fat grapes as they turned from green to purple on that hot, sunny, dirt road. It would all come to an end, of course, in the fall.

I would sit and watch the dry dust as the trucks pulled out. The hippies would be long gone, but there were a few Spanish friends nodding and smiling as they walked back up to the road. They pointed to me and laughed, "lemon-aid bandita!", as I kneeled high on the back of my pony, Squirt, and hollered, "After banana!" (That meant "see you tomorrow in Spanish... It took me a few more years to figure out differently, but I know they understood). In one fluid motion, I would wrap my legs once more around Squirt's withers and charge after them, showing off. I was always sad to see them, my summer-school teachers, go. But I felt the hinting chill in the air. I saw the bright, fruitless, promise of blood-orange leaves sucking the last will and testament of summer from the trees before giving it all up to the purple, crimson, waxing of winter. It was the fall. I always knew by the chestnuts showing their soft, green spines. I remember the chestnuts very well, not only for their new and shapely innocence, but for mine.
Jeannie   
Nov 16, 2009
Faq, Help / Is it safe to post my essay here? Or should I be worried about Plagiarism? [174]

No. You are the author no matter where your writing gets posted, printed, or said. Now, if you took my writing and posted it for revision without crediting me as the author of the original, that would be plagiarism. Also, if any of your work includes that from another author and you fail to cite that author correctly, you would be guilty of plagiarizing that author's work.

Plagiarism is a fancy way of saying "stealing." If you are not stealing, you are not plagiarizing. Beware, though, when putting something you learn into your own words that you really put it in your own words. If your words too closely resemble another's, it is called paraphrasing and should be cited as such.

Hope this helps! It was an excellent question, but try not to be too paranoid. Just remember to give credit where credit is due and you will be fine.

Blue skies!

Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 16, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL ESSAY " Shools should ask students to evaluate their teachers" [13]

HI!

This is a tough one, so I will start with some small issues:

1. Try to avoid the words "really" and "very." A simple statement will do. Otherwise, you should use an adjective to describe something better rather than relying on "really" or "very" to express yourself.

2. Present tense---------Past tense
He is---------------------He was
I am----------------------I was
They are-----------------They were
They keep---------------They kept
I know--------------------I knew
She has------------------She had
I have--------------------I had
There are tense (past/present) issues throughout your essay. You also have problems keeping the singular and plural apart. When you build a sentence, you must have every word either in the present tense or the past tense and everything in either singular or plural. This is true of your entire essay in most cases. Here are some examples in your own writing:

"students who isn't qualified enough still learn to develop their education."
You have students (plural) who is not (singular). It should be a student who is not or students who are not.
"As we knew, bad students always have antipathetic attitudes..."
Here you have "knew" (past tense) and "have" (present tense) when it should read either knew/had or know/have. I know it seems insurmountably confusing (I was going to say "very" haha!) But you will get there with practice! Get rid of the contractions (isn't, didn't, wouldn't), get your tenses to agree, work on your singular and plural nouns and pronouns, and submit this again so we can work on it some more. Keep up the good work!

Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 16, 2009
Letters / Reference letter for a post grad Telecomms research degree [6]

I'm writing this reference at the request of {John Doe} who is applying for a sponsored PhD research program at {name of Univeristy applying to} (Ref num: {reference number}).

I have known {John} since {year}. I supervised his dissertation ({dissertation title}) and lectured for one of his modules, ({module title}). {John} is unique in that he offers commercial and working-life <you could also say he offers real-world experience from...< experience combined with the precision of thought that his academic career has engendered. His enthusiasm and dedication to both his dissertation and to my module was outstanding, and I highly recommend him for your research program.

Based upon my observations, {Mr. So and so} is intelligent, diligent and energetic in his work, and I am confident that he would be an asset to both the research team and to the University as a whole.

If you require any further information or any more questions regarding {my name}, then please feel free to contact me via email at {referees email address}.

Notice your name starts as a full name (to establish your identity), goes to your first name only (shows fondness and familiarity) and ends with the Professor calling you by a title to show his or her new-found respect for you (Mr. so and so or Dr. so and so, whatever...) I use this tool in any reference I give because it helps to show a time line of growth, i.e.:

"Beverly Brennen came to us as a temporary employee in March, 2008. Since then, Beverly has shown outstanding ability, leadership, and work ethic far surpassing that of her peers. I would recommend Ms. Brennen for Medical Proficiency School at the earliest opportunity." Just a made-up example...

Good luck! I hope this helps.

Blue skies! Jeannie
Jeannie   
Nov 16, 2009
Undergraduate / An experience through which i have gained respect for differences [10]

Thanks, Kevin! No, I didn't know about contributors. I checked out your link - really great idea for future applications and references! I am happy to contribute, and I asked to join the group. Thank you!

Blue skies! Jeannie