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Posts by lanvt2811
Name: To Ngoc Lan
Joined: Apr 2, 2018
Last Post: Oct 4, 2018
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  
Likes: 3
From: Vietnam
School: UWE

Displayed posts: 9
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Apr 3, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 topic: individuals to provide environmental problems solution [6]

Topic: Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others believe individuals can also do some things to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (please give me feedback)

environmental protection requires concrete actions

Nowadays environmental problems have been one of the most challenges that almost every country is facing. Although there is a common belief that governments hold accountable for the course of environmental protection, I am strongly convinced that small efforts taken by individuals will make major changes in our planet.

It is true that many people believe environmental issues can only be tackled by governments and international organization. Obviously, the problems of global warming or desertification are happening around the world with the extent varying from places to places, which requires the cooperation from countries around the world to deal with. As a result, only the world's intergovernmental actions enable to mobilize enormous resources to adopt multidisciplinary approaches for environmental protection. Secondly, with the power of enactment and enforcement of laws, especially environmental protection law or renewable energy law, government can adjust social behaviors towards a more sustainable and low-carbon society.

On the other hand, I believe that there are many actions that individuals can take to alleviate environmental degradation by adopting an eco-friendly lifestyle. Firstly, we should recycle waste materials such as paper or glass and buy products with biodegradable packaging which decomposes easily. Secondly, instead of private cars, we should use public transport or bicycle as a means of transport more often. By doing so, the toxic emissions from vehicles, which are one of the main factors contributing to air pollution, would reduce significantly. Finally, planting more trees every year in our garden would be helpful to decrease the carbon footprint as well.

In short, environmental protection requires concrete actions from both the government and individuals worldwide. Only by doing this can we assure that we could hand this beautiful planet to our next generation and the next generation after.
Apr 3, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS: taking gap year has become one of the growing trends among students [2]

Basically your writing is ok. But I suggest you have topic sentence at the beginning of the two body paragraphs which will help to orient the readers about the paragraph. Secondly, your third sentence in the first body paragraph is too long, which make reader tired .
Apr 3, 2018
Writing Feedback / Success is a matter of luck - Essay [3]

Your writing is good, but there are some grammatical errors: for example the last sentence of the introduction paragraph or the second sentence of the third paragraph. Pls pay attention to grammar.
Apr 7, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: production of consumer goods vs environment [3]

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

eco-friendly world?

The increase of consumer goods has brought about a myriad of negative impacts on the natural environment. This essay will present the underlying cause and workable solutions to the problem.

Obviously, there is no denying that overpopulation is the root of the problem. With over 7 billion people around the world, the demands for basic necessities like food, clothes and shelters have been on the inexorable rise. As a result, rainforests have been cleared, especially in developing countries, for industrial, residential and productive land. Factories, which emit harmful gases to the air and toxic wastes to water source, have been opened in every parts of the world to produce various kinds of food, drinks, clothes, etc. This has put unprecedented strains on our finely balanced ecosystem.

In order to solve the problem, both government and individuals should take actions immediately. Firstly, government should put forward a stricter regulation to control the overpopulation issue. Secondly, individuals should adopt a more eco-friendly consumption habits. For example, people should buy biodegradable packaged products, support organic food or avoid overusing plastic bags. Another feasible action is that all industrial and domestic wastes like paper or glass should be sorted out and recycled. By taking all these actions, our living environment would become better and greener.

In conclusion, overpopulation has created undesirable effects on the natural environment. It is the responsibility of both government and people living on the planet to protect it before it is too late.
Apr 7, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task2 Topic-The positive or negative effects of Internet [3]

Please pay more attention to grammar errors: passive voice vs active voice. For example: the first sentence should be " The Internet has strongly influenced our lives" or "As internet has invented" --> "as the Internet has been invented".
Oct 4, 2018
Writing Feedback / Ielts aging population topic - the average life expectancy is increasing [3]

the consequences of the longevity boom

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individual and society? Suggest some measure that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

In recent decades, people in many countries around the world, especially those in developed countries, have enjoyed the longer longevity than ever. This trend, however, poses the burdens on society and individuals, which requires immediate actions from governments.

The increasing life expectancy translates problems to the workforce and healthcare system. It is obvious that the bigger the proportion of retired people who are eligible to pension payment, the smaller the number of working people who are the main contributors to social wealth and pension fund. This hinders the tax burden on working adults and the risk of pension fund deficit. Another difficulty is relate to the healthcare system. The existing healthcare facilities and workforce have become overloaded with the growing demands from the ageing population.

Various actions should be taken to address the issue. The first and foremost solution is to rise the working age. This would take advantage of the experienced and highly skilled elderly working people as well as prevent the risk of pension fund deficit. Secondly, law on childbirth should be enacted to encourage people to have more children. Finally, government may encourage immigration to make up for the shortage of laborers in certain fields. By doing this, the number of young adults can be increased and the economic growth driven forces can be maintained.

In conclusion, the longer life expectancy has lead to various drawbacks including the shortage workforce and the overload healthcare system. Therefore, government should take concrete actions in order to mitigate the aforementioned problems.