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Posts by thinhtvdhtm
Joined: Sep 17, 2009
Last Post: Jan 29, 2010
Threads: 41
Posts: 97  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 138 / page 3 of 4
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thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 10, 2009
Writing Feedback / in which ways, computer is a hindrance [3]

check for me please,thanks so much

Some people believe that computers are mot a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them.

In what ways are computers a hindrance?
What is your opinion?

There is no doubt that computer is one of the greatest inventions in the history of human beings; however, nothing is perfect in the real world, and computer is not an exception. Computers bring many advantages for our lives; nevertheless, in some ways, computer is a hindrance in the life. In this essay, drawbacks from using computer will be analyzed as well as benefits.

In some ways, using computers brings several disadvantages for our lives. First of all, people often have to pay a large amount of money to access a computer. For poor people, computer brings inequality to them. They cannot afford a computer; consequently, they do not seen to have chance to use and approach to new technological applications. In addition, computers can destroy addicted who spend too much time with computers. Scientists show that using computer for a non-stop long time can harm his eyes by radiation and back.

However, personally, I believe that computers have made the world better. There are many technological applications carried out with computers in various fields such as economy, health, education, entertainment. Taking some applications of computer in economics field for an example; these applications have improved productiveness rapidly. Before computer invented, there was no software applied in business, and most work was done by human without any support from machines. As a result, efficiency work was low and costs for labor were quite high. However, now with support from computers, people can do more work in less time with low costs. Moreover, computer invention has created other ways for business can meet needs on the markets. In the past, businesses and customers used traditional business: suppliers and customers met in person, but now the development of the internet based on computers allows business transactions can carry out faster, more effectively.

In conclusion, I believe that computer has made our planet becoming a better place for living. Although it comes at a price, its advantages exceed disadvantages.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / students should take a year between school and Univer for working, traveling [3]

many thanks to you, EF_Kevin.
to be honest, i cannot decided whether taking a breaking between high school and university is good or not. because, in my own country, students often finish high school in may, and they also take the university entrance exam in july. there is no break. although i love having this break, i have never experienced thus cannot whether it is good or not?

could u help me make a conclusion better? thank so much
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / students should take a year between school and Univer for working, traveling [3]

please check for my mistakes, thank so much

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

In some countries, there is a trend that students after completing high school take an off year for traveling or working before beginning studies at university. Some people wonder that whether this trend brings benefits for young people or not. In this essay, I will analyze advantages as well as disadvantages of this trend.

On the one side, taking an off year between finishing high school and beginning university brings some benefit for students. First of all, students who are in good economics condition have chance to reduce tress by traveling as well as to ear money by getting jobs for poor students. After a long study time, it is really good for students to take a rest. The rich students can taking some trips to eliminate anxiety from studies, and the students who have financial difficulty have time to earn money for study costs when they attend university. In addition, young people have good opportunities to experience real life. When they are traveling different places, they can improve their knowledge and experience about the life such as about cultures, lifestyles. For students who get a job they can apply their theoretical knowledge into practices, get experience about working environments, working lifestyles, which is very useful for their future.

On the other side, when young people taking a year for traveling or working may have to meet many difficulties to come back studies. In fact, there are many students who take a job to earn money for university study costs lose university; because, after a working year, they are interested in earning money than attending university. Not only poor students, rich students also find difficult to adapt to studying environment. Although rich students are unlikely to lose university like poor students, they have to spend long time to get accustomed to university environment.

In conclusion, there are both benefits and drawbacks for young people when they decide to take a year between graduating high school and beginning university for working or traveling.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / Food has become easier to prepare now , do you agree or not? [13]

i think that yours is quite good,remember that thesis is :Has this change improved the way people live? you have just refer to busy life. what about others? sure, there is no doubt that this change is good for busy people.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 6, 2009
Writing Feedback / Parents are best teachers. They follow us and help us to develop our talent. [5]

personally, yours is quite good, although there are several errors such:parents not parent. but dont worry, they are acceptable in essays. i have been in trouble like u, in ielts i have about 40 minutes, a bit longer than u, but i often spend more. i think the best solution to this difficulty is reading more and more.when it is familiar to u,u can finish on time,

bibi
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 5, 2009
Writing Feedback / Avantages of watching TV outweight its disadvantages; IInfluence of watching TV [7]

i am preparing for ielts, but i am really worried about my writing? could u give me some comments for this essay, thanks in advance?

pl check for me:grammar, sentence structures, so on

Discussion about advantages and disadvantages of watching television?

There is no doubt that television is one of the most powerful communication in the history of human beings. Due to its appeal, it is difficult for anyone to be able to ignore it; therefore, television has been apart of our lives. Watching television brings us many benefits as well as drawbacks. In this essay, I will analyze both negative and positive influences on ourlives.

On the positive side, there are several advantages from watching television. First of all, watching television is one of the most popular entertainment activities. According to the statistics of a recent survey, in a sample of 1000 children, one hundred percentage of respondents said that they loved watching television in their spare time. Watching television helps people eliminate stress, tension, discomfort. Secondly, people can learn many things from watching television. When watching television, people seem to have chance to know about histories, cultures, lifestyle, which depends on what kinds of programmer they watch.

On the negative side, sometimes, watching television gives people bad influences. Violence is the worst effect of watching television. The more violence people watch, the less sensitive people feel about violence, which can cause of violence in real life. Some people affected by this consequence may do some illegal things without realization. In addition, watching television can destroy communication among people in community. It is natural that the more time people watch, the less time they spend for communicating with others.

In conclusion, personally, I definitely believe that advantages of watching television outweigh disadvantages, and how television influences on our lives depends what people wach, how much they watch, how they respond on what they wach.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 5, 2009
Writing Feedback / causes and solutions for reducing the gap beween rich and poor nations [5]

hi tuan, i am not sure about that phrase. some people have talked to me like that; however, i have seen several essay use this phrase. are you sure about the usage of this phrase? pl give me.

i will correct :hey should bring more opportunities for people to take further education as well as encourage their own residents who are highly qualified and work for other countries.

thank so much, tuan

like u, some time i know but i cannot find any words better.hj. do u have any words can replace for it

have a nice day.
oh, nearly forget to ask, how do u think about my essay? are there any sentences or word should be changed your opinion.
bibi tuan,
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / causes and solutions for reducing the gap beween rich and poor nations [5]

please check for me! i am preparing for ielts; however, i am bad at writing. thanks for your feedback. i am happy when i can realize my mistakes?

The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap?

It is considered that the gap between developed and developing countries is bigger now than it has ever been before. In fact, there are many different reasons for this problem. In this writing, I will analyze several crucial causes as well as propose my own solutions to degrade this inequality.

Personally, I believe that advantages about high technology, labor force and capital are responsible for this issue. First of all, most new technology applications take place in developed countries, and there is no doubt that those applications help improve productiveness in all fields of economy such as agriculture, service and industry. In addition, owning a high quality labor force such as scientists, experts, is an important advantage. In rich nations, education systems are much higher than others; thus, people have more chance to be educated further. They not only train their residents, but also attract people who are well qualified from other nations. Last but not least, rich countries have potential finance, which help them invest many fields all over the world.

To reduce this gap, firstly, the key factor is that poor countries should concentrate on improving the quality of labor force through upgrading education systems. They should bring more opportunities for people to take further education as well as encouraging their own residents who are highly qualified and work for other countries. Moreover, states should bring good economics environment for businesses, attract foreign investors to improve potential finance.

It is a difficult task for poor countries to reduce inequality without rich countries' supports. Developed nations should help developing countries for technology, capital, and training. With these supports, solutions for this issue will be more successful.

In conclusion, to reduce the inequality is a task for not only poor countries, but also for rich countries.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / talent is a natural gift or from practice [3]

thanks so much EF_Sean. i know that in this essay, i wrote not well. it is a pretty difficult. could you give me more suggestion help me make it better.

thanks so much
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / College or univeristy's benefits [8]

hi, in the next month, i have to take ielts exam. however, i am not really confident for writing and speaking.i have never found any websites which help me improve writing for task 1 in ielst format. could u help me! anyway, thank in advance.

have a good time at the mid autumn festival.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 2, 2009
Writing Feedback / talent is a natural gift or from practice [3]

pl check for my mistake more detail, i will happy when i can see my own mistakes.
thanks in advance

It is general believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport, music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

The question that whether creative people are born with their natural talents or they become successful through a long road of working hard is controversial. Personally, I believe that People who are born with natural talents find what they are passionate about and will succeed quickly at the hobby. Others can do the same hobby but will struggle and have to work extra hard to become good at what they are doing.

From the one side/on the on hand, there is no doubt that genius are born with their own talents. Take Mozart, one of the greatest composer music all over the world, for example, When he was just 5 years old, Mozart started composing small and beautiful melodious numbers. At the age of six, Mozart and his elder sister performed in many concerts in European Courts.

From the other side/ on the other hand, to acquire achievements in creative people's lives, they have to study and research like others. It is obviously that geniuses also have to attend school, university as well as need support form teachers. The outstanding difference between geniuses and other people is the speed of learning.

In my own country, there is a statement that "success is combined with on percentage of intelligence and 99% of hard -working". Personally, I strongly believe that creative people are born with talents; moreover, through studying, their talents seen to be upgraded and help them achieve outstanding success in their lives. Without practice, it is more likely that their talents to be ignored.

In conclusion, talent is the most essential factor to make a genius; moreover, with practical process, this talent can be effective.
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 2, 2009
Writing Feedback / College or univeristy's benefits [8]

In high school, we learn basic and general knowledge of many subjects. But in university, we will learn and research deeply about the stream which you will work with in the future. i think the first sentence is not a topic sentence. it must be:

In high school, we learn basic and general knowledge of many subjects;however, in university, we will learn and research deeply about the stream which you will work with in the future

note that:never use and, but in essay at the begining of sentence.

on whole, i like yours. good luck
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 30, 2009
Writing Feedback / happiness definition and factors influence in achieving happiness - consensus of opinions [4]

please check for my grammar, structures and logic. thank so much

Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?


There is no double that every one, all over the world, always pursues happiness, which is considered that it is very important for our lives. Thus, What happiness is, how to achieve it are the controversial questions. In this essay, I will analyze happiness definition and factors which influence on acquiring happiness.

Obviously, it is really very difficult to achieve a perfect concept about happiness; because, it depends on several different factors such as which places people live, their cultures, their own views. There are several international research implemented during the last few decades; however, researchers have not acquired a perfect definition, and had the consensus of opinions. Some people link happiness to money, material demands; while, others link to emotions, personal relationships, personal achievement. For other one, the word "happiness" has no precise equivalent in some languages, and other complication is satisfaction.

In the real life, there are some factors which influence on the way people can achieve happiness such as personal achievement, personal relationships, their cultures, families and work. For example, in western countries, happiness often seems as a reflection of personal achievement, and they seem unhappy when they cannot achieve the most in their own lives. However, in Asia, people acquire happiness when they do not feel inferior or guilty. Nevertheless, if someone cannot have those conditions, it does not mean that they are unhappy, unsatisfied.

In conclusion, the answers for crucial questions about happiness: what happiness is how to achieve it, depend on many different factors.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 30, 2009
Writing Feedback / Toefl iBT writing - Integrated task: Global warming [12]

hi tuan, are u viennamese? i have ever read your several essay, and i find that your writing is very good? i am wondering that could u tell me what are u studying? in your own opinion, how to writing more effectively. i am preparing for ielts test, but i am very worried about my writing. anyway, thanks so much.

oh, nearly forget to say, thank to your essay, i wrote an essay about this topic but i did it not well due to lack of information. thanks so muh
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 29, 2009
Writing Feedback / Solution to the global climate change [2]

please check for me more detail, for my grammar, sentence structures, and logic.
thanks so much

Only Government Can Save Humans



Scientists and news media are presenting ever more evidence of climate change. Governments cannot be expected to solve this problem. It is the responsibility of individuals to change their lifestyle to prevent further damage. What are your views?

It is an unquestioned principle that has dominated international thinking for the last decades: the global temperature is increasing. Scientists have urged governments to take some measures to prevent the green house emission which is considered as main cause. Simultaneous, politicians and environmentalists also urged individuals to change their lifestyle. Personally, I strongly believe that governments and residents should take responsibility for this problem is more likely successful.

First of all, only governments can control production process of industries which are consider that account a large percentage of green house emissions. In the last few decades, industrial development is at a higher rate, and it is clear that the more plants are established, the more waste they give off. Governments can use some measures to discourage the industrial pollution such as: raising the tax for using fossil fuel, encouraging industries use biology energy, or using high technological equipment to meet standard about waste treatment systems. Moreover, it may be more successful when there is cooperation between governments around the word.

In addition, the solutions for this issue will be more effective when individuals change their lifestyles. Individuals can contribute to reduce the changes in the global climate through changing their habits such as: using public transport system in stead of their own cars, saving energy like electricity, petrol and so on. When people leave their car at home, which help reduce pollution and save energy.

To sum up, the governmental solution to this problem will be more efficient when there is a combination between government and individuals to take responsibility.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 29, 2009
Writing Feedback / Music can kill much time if people are bored - sound is part of our lives [2]

Sometimes I really believe that music has a power which can make people relaxed. Almost everyone listen(s) to music everyday, we will be happy when we hear our favourite song. Sounds like a magic,right? But it dose.

in essay u should avoid using i, we, you if it is possible
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 28, 2009
Writing Feedback / why movies have become a part of life [3]

dear Moderators, i have posted several essays, but i have not received any feedback from you. i also know that feedback from others members is useful; however, i think that it will be much better if i can receive at least feedback from one of you. because sometimes, i wonder whether other members' advice is good or not? i hope i can get your feedback as soon as possible. any way, thanks in advance!
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 27, 2009
Writing Feedback / why movies have become a part of life [3]

i am preparing for ielts , i am really worried about my writing. pl check for me grammar, sentence structures and logic. thanks in advance

Why movies are becoming popular all over the world?

There is no doubt that movie is one of the most powerful media means in the history of mankind. In the modern society, movies are popular and also becoming a part of our lives. There are several main reasons explaining for the popularity of movies.

First of all, watching movies is one of the most popular entertainment activities in the modern society. According to statistics, people often spend a large proportion of their free time on movies; because, when they watch movies, they can eliminate anxiety, strain, stress from work, family and feel more comfortable, relax.

In addition, people can achieve and upgrade their own experience and knowledge from watching movies. People can learn about the past such as history, the life in the past, what happened through historical movies. They can not just learn those things about their own countries, but also from others. For example, when a person watch a western movies, he or she can have chance to know about histories, lifestyles, and so on of western countries, which depend on what kinds of movies he or she watch.

Last but not least, people can learn languages when they watch foreign movies. Take me for example, when I was a student, I did not find a good, interesting way to learn English. However, now I often watch English or American movies in my free time, and I find that my English is improved day by day, especially listening skill.

In conclusion, movies have brought many benefits to people. Watching movies is not only a leisure activity, but also a good way to improve knowledge for every one.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 27, 2009
Writing Feedback / Personal life of famous person is no longer "personal" [5]

With the remarkable development of public media, the personal life of famous person is no longer "personal". Personally, I do not agree with the statement thay today's television, newspaper, magazines and other media pay too much attention to them.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 26, 2009
Writing Feedback / how can school help new students get accustomed to new environment? [6]

thanks mrchildchil!
ielts 8 band, it means that your english is excellent. in your opinion, with this essay, how many scores i can achieve? thank so much! i am preparing for ielts but i find that writing essay is really difficult for me! how can i upgrade this skill? thanks again
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / students should take apart in lecture or not? why? [4]

please check for me more detail, my grammar, sentence structures, logic? thank u very much

Some students like classes where teachers lecture (do all of the talking) in class. Others prefer classes where students do some of the talking. Which type of class you like? Why?

In the last few years, there have been many reformation in my own country' education system, and one of the most outstanding changes is in teaching method. In stead of lectures where teachers talk all time, there are now always some presentations made by students during the class. Personally, I thinks these reformations have made education system in my country better, and this new teaching method is not good for me, but for most students.

To begin with, when students attend tuitions, they can have more chance to upgrade their own capabilities. In order to finish the topic which their teachers give them, they have to work in group, read many kinds of different material, collect data for their presentation. When they work together in group, they can learn skill for working together, which very useful for them not just during college, but after school. They also can improve their reading skill and technique to gather information.

In addition, making representation front of crowd help them become more confident. For example, when I was a student at high school, I always became nervous whenever speaking front of class. However, thanks to new teaching method, now I do not mind speaking in front of crowd.

Last but not least, the new teaching method make lecture more interesting for students. In class, students can discuss some things involved subjects, they have more chance to express their own ideas.
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / toefl -- success and luck [7]

personally, i think you should not to many pronoun such as:i you we in essays
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / toefl -- needed land / protecting environment [5]

We need more natural land(s) because we (need) more trees to protect our country from drought. As (far as ) we all know, (trees can avoid the water flowing away) i dont understand this sentence., and they can also create the oxygen we need every day. However, according to a report(ed), 80% of the original/virgin natural land has become farm land in the late 70's, which is the result (not of) in over cutting. At first, only some farmers cut down trees to plant their crops in order to feed their family. While, as these farmers realized that (not plant)planting additional crops would offer them more profits, they started to cut amount of trees down. Even though there ( not is) has been a remarkable improvement since Chinese government carried out the policy of returning farm land back to forest, not all of them can be return to the condition they had bee
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / how can school help new students get accustomed to new environment? [6]

i am preparing for ielts, i am really worried about my writing skill, could u help me check my vocabulary, sentence structures, logic? thank you very much?

When students move to a new school, they sometimes face problems. How can schools help these students with their problems?

Students who move to a new school often confront with many problems; it is very important for them to get accustomed as soon as possible. Some students find it really easy; however, others' adaptation is not as good as their friends'. Consequently, schools should help them come through this experience successfully.

To begin with, in the first weeks, schools should give some orientation course which help freshman get involved with new environment. Advisors or administrators should take them on a tour of school and show them around should. Advisors should tell them about the school' history, how to access facilities in the school such as gyms, library, access computer, carteen, the rule they have to follow, and so on.

Besides, schools should help them find accommodation. Most new students wonder that whether they should live in hostel or rent a flat outside the school campus; therefore, School advisors can show the both advantages and disadvantages of these kinds of accommodation. School should arrange place in campus area for students who want to live in school, and help others who prefer living outside school to find place for living.

Last but not least, schools should constitute clubs, outside activities to make a good environment for students participate. When these students attend, they have more chance to make friend with others.

To sum up, the role of school is very important to help new students get accustomed to new environment
thinhtvdhtm   
Sep 19, 2009
Writing Feedback / the main purposes of a country's education system [6]

i am preparing for ielts, i want to improve my writing, could you check detail for me? about grammar, sentence structures, logic, and so on!thanks in advance.

The main purpose of a country's education system is to prepare young people for particular types of work rather than to help them develop independent thinking individuals. What is your view?

Nowadays, the globalization has happened rapidly, levels of competitiveness is also higher, and almost work requires people with some certain skills. Consequently, some people claim that national education systems concentrate on ranging the young for particular kinds of work. Others, however, believe that countries' education system contribute to develop independent thinking individuals. I strongly support the latter for several reasons

To begin with, through encouraging students thinking more independently contributes to make them become more creative, the key factor for their successes in the future. If education systems concentrate on ranging for the young for a particular kinds of work, young people will seem to receive knowledge passively without creation. As far as we know, most successful people are creative, therefore to help the young be able to succeed in the competitive global economy, national education system should arm to encourage young people to think and do what they love

Moreover, in real fact, It can be seen clearly that purposes of education systems concentrate on improving creativeness, independent thinking rather than for a particular types of work. When you enter university, you have chosen your major before; nevertheless, you still have to study others subjects belonging to other majors, which is consider helping you improve your capabilities. When you study many different kinds of subjects, which help you access various knowledge and experience, moreover you can understand and appreciate issue you face. in most universities, some skill subjects arm to improve creativeness, skill for team working and make manager decision have

been teaching.. Take me for example, my major is business administration, however, in fact, I not just study subjects involved management, I also study others such as marketing, account, culture which seems not involved my major, which, however, help me access creation, independent thinking

In conclusion, I definitely believe that the goal of national education concentrating on improving independent thinking of individual is wise.

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