Writing Feedback / students should get jobs or not? why or why not? 'to be more confident' [3]

i am preparing for ielst, however i think my writing is not good. could you give me more comment about: my grammar, sentence structure, logic, and so on, thanks so much

Students should have jobs during university. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are many changes in national education system all over the world; students' duties are becoming harder and more sophisticated. Some people, therefore, consider that students should spend all time for study. However, others encourage students to get jobs. Personally, I think that getting jobs during university brings many advantages for them, which will be proved by the following analysis.

To begin with, having jobs helps students manage their own time better, which is very important and useful skill throughout their lives. When they have jobs, it means that they have to do two things at the time; thus, they must learn how to spend their time more effectively to meet requirements and tasks for work and study. As a result, they can learn by themselves skill to manage time, which contributes them to get their own achievements in the future.

In addition, students can not just apply, but improve their knowledge and experience. When students get jobs related to their major, they will have chances to apply theoretical things into practice. They may learn some things which they cannot get at university. Of course, when they apply jobs after university, they are more likely to have advantages than others candidates

Last but not least, they can earn money from jobs. They may reduce supports from their parents and become more economically independent. They will afford to buy more books, clothes and so on, which help them more confident.

To sum up, I strongly believe that there are many benefits when students have jobs.

Writing Feedback / discuss advantages and disadvantages of building a new shopping center [4]

i am preparing for ielts. writing is the weakest point.could u check detail for me, pl? and according to your appreciation, how many scores can i achieve? thank so much.

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of building new shopping center.

It is comment considered that nothing in the world is perfect, and every thing always comes at a price. Building a new shopping center is not an exception; it brings many benefits and drawbacks for communities. They will be analyzed in this essay.

From the one side, a new shopping center contributes communities to become better in several aspects. First of all, people living in that neighborhood can go shopping more convenient. For example, before building a new shopping center in my community, we used to spend driving hours for shopping because there was no shopping center. However, it now takes me only ten minutes for walk for going shopping, and it helps me save not just time, but money for petrol. In addition, local authorities can collect bigger avenue from taxes which is needed to improve infrastructure in their communities. It is more likely to upgrade public services such as training and education, health services, public transportation, which contributes to improve living standard in these areas.

From the other side, it is believed that new construction can destroy landscapes. To begin with, when a new shopping center built, it attract more people from other neighborhoods come there. And as a result the air becomes more polluted by shoppers' individual vehicles: smokes and noise from engines. Besides, there will more traffic jams result in more cars coming from others regions, streets become more congested, and cars park every where in roads.

To sum up, there are many advantages and disadvantages when a new shopping center built. Personally, I believe that benefits for outweigh drawbacks.

Writing Feedback / motherhood and father hood [4]

i am preparing for ielts. my writing is not good, and i am really worried about that.thank in advance for your reading.

Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the twentieth century, men and women should be treated in the same way; women have the same chance to develop their own careers as men do. Besides, in families, fatherhood should be as important as motherhood. It is unfair that women have to solely take responsibility to have babies and look after the children. It will be approved by the following analysis.

To begin with, making decision for having babies is one of the most important one in family life. As far as we know, the children are the greatest bridge among partners, and people can not access the real happiness without children. Consequently, whether to have or not babies should be the responsibility for both. Most couples think that the best time to have children is when they can meet viable material needs of their children and have enough time to take care of the children; because, they always want to bring the best thing for their spring off.

Moreover, how to bring the children up, and teach them become well behaved children is the responsibility for both fatherhood and motherhood. It is sure that the role of fatherhood and mother hood is different in family; however, both of them are the same important. It is very unequal that women are responsible solely. Like men, women have their own careers, they have to work at office; thus, why men do not take care of children and women have to do that. In fact, children without their fathers' care, they are not more likely become obeyed children. It is always considered that partners should together bring them up and teach them become good people in the future.

To sum up, it is better that both men and women have the same opportunity to achieve their own goals as well as take responsibility to look after their children and make their families happier.

Writing Feedback / the way to achieve good health and fitness in modern society [2]

In some societies it is common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
i am preparing for ielts tests, but my writing skill is not good, i hope you can help me to check this essay, thanks so much

Our health is the only thing we really have in the world. We can be taken away our money, clothes or houses we still survive: however, without health, we can not be in existence. Therefore, some people hold opinion that we should do sports, have good diet, and use preventative medicine to get healthier. Others, however, believe that having a normal life is the best way to achieve a healthy and fit body. Personally, I definitely agree with the former. In the following paragraphs, I will give my reasons to support my point of view.

To begin with, in modern society, we are becoming busier for our jobs; therefore, we should try to play sports to contribute to a healthier, fitter body. Nowadays, most work requires people with some certain skills; hence, during office time, we work with our brains mainly, our bodies may not move enough as we used to before with manual work. And of course, only with equal both physical and metal can bring our good health. When we do exercises in the gym or play sports in sport center, our bodies have to move a lot. So, we can burn energy, it makes us stronger and helps us to equal them. For example, 2 months ago, I used to play computer games after work; thus, my health was not often in good condition. However, after then instead of playing computer games, I went to gym to do exercises, and now I feel much better.

In addition, we should care about our diet. With development of technology, there are not only more types of a certain kind of food, but also many others created and they make our lives more convenient. Nevertheless, preprocessed or cooked foods often contain high fat, sugar which is not good for health. Moreover, people now often go to market and get foods and vegetable for whole week; consequently, they are alleviated freshness, quality as they are.

However, other people believe that getting a normal life is the best way to become healthier and fitter. It would be right if they were living in the eighteenth century. They forget that we are living in 21th century, it is really different: lifestyles, foods, work, and environment. It is wrong when they bring the things in past to apply in the modern world.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that to possess a healthier and fitter body we should play sports, do exersices and have a suitable diet.

Writing Feedback / 'advantages outweigh annoyance' - people have a close friendship with their pets [5]

Recently, some animals such as birds, dogs, cats and so on have appeared in families more commonly, and they are often looked after by their bosses as members in their families. It is believed that having pets in household has many advantages, which will be approved by analyzing several reasons below.

First of all, having pets such as dogs, cats are very good for children. Nowadays, parents are often busy with their work, and of course, the more work they do, the less time they have for their own children. When they breed pets in their houses, their children can play with them, and their parents have more time for doing homework. Playing with pets children can learn many things from them; moreover, in stead of playing lonely, being in isolated, they become happy.

In addition, not only good for children, having pets in families can brings many benefits for adults. In the 21st century, people always try to do more work in less time; consequently, they don't have enough time for meeting friends. Many people like talking to their pets as their friends in space time, which they believe that can help them reduce stress, tension, anxiety. Especially, with people who live alone they always treat pets as their friends, relatives, members in their families. They often do every thing with pets: having meals, watching television, even go to bed together. For them, pets are a part of their lives.

Last but not least, pets sometimes save people' lives. In some emergency cases, people can not manage by them selves, ask a hand from others; however, their pets fortunately can help them to respond in time. For example, my grandmother has heart disease and whenever this disease is active, she often gets faint. I do remember that was 2 years ago, when my grandmother went to bed, while the rest members in my families were watching film in the living room. Suddenly, my dog barked so loudly that we startled, and I felt some things happened. Then I ran into my grandmother's bed room immediately, she was lying on the floor and we took her to hospital. Thanks to my dog, it saved my grand mother.

To sum up, making decision to have pets in families is wise. Although, sometimes they can make us annoyed, I believe that advantages outweigh annoyance.