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Posts by dohongphuong1504
Name: Phuong Do
Joined: Nov 16, 2018
Last Post: Nov 27, 2018
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
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From: Vietnam
School: Hanoi - Amsterdam High School for the Gifted

Displayed posts: 4
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Nov 16, 2018
Writing Feedback / Discuss the merits and demerits of competitive sports in schools [4]

sports influence on kid's education

Some people believe that competitive sports have a positive effect on children's education, while others believe there is no place for such sports in schools. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.


Nowadays, physical activities play as one of the most vital parts of every school's curriculum, which has drawn considerable attention from both the parents and the children. While it is often argued that competitive sports such as basketball, football or swimming should be encouraged more, others raise their objection on account of the negative effects that these sports may have on kids. This essay will discuss both points of view.

It is undeniable that playing sports will boost children in terms of strength and stamina. It provides them with an opportunity to build up their muscles and serves as a form of entertainment besides heavy academic work. In order to participate in such sports competitions, infants will also have to practice under a more structural formation and strictly follow the rules, which in turn will help them sharpen their personal skills and teamwork more effectively. Furthermore, it has been proved by some scientists that children who take part in competitive sports are generally healthier, which helps them stay in a clear state of mind and therefore do better academically.

On the contrary, the reasons why competitive sports should take place elsewhere outside the learning environment ought to be taken into consideration. First of all, children can grow a strong desire to win, which, as a consequence, can raise unnecessary feelings of superiority and jealousy among kids. Secondly, getting involved in championships means they have to train on a regular basis, which can lead to them neglecting their studies both in school and at home. Finally, infants competing under such a pressured environment may develop a fear of failure and disappointment, which can seriously affect their future growth.

To conclude, competitive sports show both pros and cons when being held in schools. They do benefit children in physical and mental aspects; nonetheless, they are an apparent source of distraction and can bring about unwanted negative feelings. In my own point of view, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Playing sports can be extremely enjoyable and helpful, so long as kids retain the positive energy and can keep up with their studies.

Can anyone please make some comments on my essay and give an overall band score? Thanks a lot!
Nov 27, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing : Current trend of becoming vegetarian [3]

Here are some of my comments:
scientifically proved
the supporters of this view have
Each kind of food provides

This is only my personal opinion but there are many vegetarians who still lead a healthy life although they don't eat meat, so the second controlling idea in the body is not very persuasive to me
Nov 27, 2018

Topic 2: Some people feel that healthcare provision should be free, while others believe that healthcare should be paid for by the individual. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

free healthcare service?

In these days, it is a matter of hot debate whether or not healthcare service should be provided free of charge. While many people argue that the government ought to cover all the necessary fees, there are others who voice their disapproval and say it is the citizens themselves who should settle the bill for such provision.

It is undeniable that people who support the idea of free healthcare provision have sensible reasons to hold onto their belief. First of all, it is a matter of fact that people pay tax annually for social services. According to one research conducted in Canada, an adult there has to pay approximately 10% of his average income for healthcare insurance. Therefore, the government should use the money they have collected by taxes in order to supply free healthcare service. Secondly, this method serves a higher moral purpose as it provides an equal opportunity for everyone to be examined and treated. There will no longer be any discrimination between the rich and the poor. Moreover, this will benefit low-income families extensively because it widens the chance to be cured of diseases and be able to keep up with the normal life again for them.

On the other hand, many people maintain that it is better to have healthcare provision paid by the individual. One of the most legitimate reasons for this is that it raises people's responsibility as well as awareness of the importance of their health. For instance, there are many people who do not take healthcare into serious consideration which results in their developing diseases and having to go to the hospital to seek advice and help from professional doctors. In this case, the fees they pay for such a service can be perceived as part of the consequence they have to bear for their negligence and underestimation of health. This will eventually make them come to the realization that by taking care of themselves properly, not only do they do better physically and mentally but they also save plenty of money, time and effort. Therefore, it will ultimately lead them to a healthier lifestyle.

In short, both methods show different valuable advantages. While free healthcare service benefits people in terms of fees and equality, paying for it helps to develop a sense of duty and awareness. In my view, I believe that every citizen should pay for this service individually.

Can anyone give some comments and feedback on this piece of writing? Thank you so much!!