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Posts by TaraAryal23 [Suspended]
Name: Tara Prasad Aryal
Joined: Mar 26, 2020
Last Post: May 14, 2020
Threads: 4
Posts: 12  
From: Nepal
School: Institute of Medicine

Displayed posts: 16
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Mar 26, 2020
Scholarship / Current Duties and Responsibilities as District Program Coordinator [6]

I have written in this way.

Current Duties and Responsibilities

1. Design and implement active tuberculosis case finding interventions in close coordination, cooperation, and motivation with stakeholders at all levels
2. Perform regular supervisory visits to TB treatment centres, laboratories and field meetings with volunteers and mobilizers
3. Deliver monthly reports describing the progress of the project
4. Coordinate health economic research activities
5. Adopt patient-centric care through home visits followed by socioeconomic and psychosocial support
Mar 27, 2020
Scholarship / Current Duties and Responsibilities as District Program Coordinator [6]

Thank you so much. But actually the title of the discussion went another way. Actually, I wrote it for the Australian Award Scholarship, where there is a heading known as Current Duties/Responsibilities. Can I write in this way or do you have some feedback?
Mar 31, 2020
Scholarship / Current Duties and Responsibilities as District Program Coordinator [6]


Current Responsibilites (250 words) for Australian Awards Scholarship CV

I work as a district program coordinator in Chitwan district (population ~ 700,000; the second largest TB burden district in Nepal) for IMPACT TB project (impacttbproject.org) which implements a community-based model of active tuberculosis (TB) case finding in Nepal and collaborates with a consortium of leading international researchers to increase the transdisciplinary evidence-base around it .

My main remit involves designing and implementing intervention activities to identify people with TB, support them to initiate medication and ensure treatment adherence. This involves cordial networking, communication and motivation of stakeholders and staff at all tiers of the district health system.

I supervise well-structured project staff, four community mobilizers and 30 incentivised health volunteers who work with vulnerable communities districtwide. I periodically undertake integrated supervisory visits to health facilities ensure strong recording and reporting system; facilitate on-site orientation of health workers and identify their training needs. We regularly set field meetings to further door-to-door screening, track the progress of TB case notification, identify loopholes and set alternatives, when necessary, to improve TB diagnosis; and deliver monthly reports describing the progress of the project. I also ensure compliance with financial regulations and timely reporting by the field team. I coordinate the project's TB costing survey and a mixed-method study on barriers and facilitators to TB diagnosis and treatment. I also take regular home visits of TB patients to ensure they are taking medicines every day, not having any adverse effects, maintaining their general health and also counsel them to regular treatment and positive health.
Apr 8, 2020
Scholarship / Why do you choose this learning course of Deakin University? Applying to the university in Australia [5]

Why do you choose this course and the institution?

Australian Award Scholarship

During the summer of 2011, I saw a real eye of view of people standing at the out-patient department of the most reputed hospital in Kathmandu. I thought how much is the pain to have the illness and standing in line for hours just to get a few minutes of check-up even without diagnosing a real problem and spending the huge chunk of money is highly unbearable. I think that How costly is the unhealthy beginning of the day. I know this entirely unsatisfied spending puts people into impoverished life.

Within the first year of my professional career, I decided to study Master in public health which specialize on health economics in the future. The lives of homeless people, people spending huge amount before they diagnose with TB, I think we need alternative actions and they need more rigid socio-economic interventions.

Firstly, I am really intrigued with the pioneer team of health economist and well-designed curricular independent learning course of Deakin University with research domain especially in economics of health problems and health care oriented. Anna's strong analytical techniques in economic evaluation of chronic disease will surely meet the interest of mine to methodologically evaluate infectious disease modelling of Nepal. Rob Carter's pioneering activity in assessing cost-effectiveness study and Prof Cathy's involvement in priority populations play key role in developing ideas of vulnerable populations in Nepal.

Meanwhile, MPH in concentration in health economics and evaluation course at the University of Melbourne offer a research capstone project of my choice in my country of origin and this is suited to my area of interest. The cross-faculty network at Melbourne which includes global health, economics and medicines provides multi-directional understanding of health care issues and methodological evaluation of them. For example: Arthur Hseuch's study of delay in diagnosis of mental problems is a huge benefit to understand policy issues in disease control programs.
Apr 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2-Most medical doctors want to work in cities where they will make a lot of money [3]

The major threat to your essay is because of very generic introduction. Use hook to impress reader (if you can) such as "There are various factors taken into consideration among people who either want to live in urban or countryside"

You are to be very specific with the causes and solutions very early in the beginning (possibly after hook). Use parallel grammar (for e.g. insufficient patient exposure and poor medical infrastructure) etc.

Body Paragraphs should be like: Topic sentence followed by an explanation and example. Better to give example of your own knowledge and experience.

I am a bit worried about your conclusion: Better re-state and further organize causes and solutions. For example: Doctors encounter less exposure to serious ailments for their career improvement and rural place often devoid of critical infrastructure which, as a result, may regret them working in rural areas. This could be mitigated through provision of appropriate medical training and availability of critical health services which can re-influence them to serve the countrymen.

I hope this helps.

Thank you
May 2, 2020
Writing Feedback / WRITING TASK 1 of IELTS: Customers at Three Restaurants [5]

Always follow the same format for Task 1
1. Introductory (Paraphrasing plus key point)
2. Overview
3. Body Paragraph

Like this way: Mama's cafe witnessed a rapid decrease during the first 3 days before accelerating in the next days.
May 3, 2020
Scholarship / Health economics - Australian Award Supporting Statement Question [2]

the example requirement essay

Please: -give up to three practical examples of how you intend to use the knowledge, skills and connections you will gain from your scholarship. Possible tasks can be personal and/or professional; and List any possible constraints you think may prevent you from achieving these tasks. *:

Example 1: Health economics is a field with a severe dearth of trained researchers, particularly in LMICs, where the need is greatest. By developing a career in HE research in Nepal, I aim to address this gap by becoming an internationally trained health economist with a unique and deep practical knowledge of the field realities of rural health systems in Nepal. I actively will contribute to local, regional, national, and international seminars, workshops, conferences and policy dialogues to build awareness of the strengths and weaknesses of HE analysis. I also always engage young Nepali students with enthusiasm for the topic to build capacity and ensure a new generation will be given good training in the field. Possible constraints include the need of funding to foster research and academic environment. I will address this with the help of my mentorship network, both existing and from the university. Coming to DU will be the ideal platform to make the jump towards higher studies and develop as an independent researcher.

Example 2: the scholarship will establish my skills in robust cost-effectiveness evaluation of community level public health interventions with a specific focus on TB. Through my employment at BNMT, I have access to data on a range of interventions and the necessary network to communicate the findings with policy makers to ensure lasting policy and practice change. I will apply my knowledge to conduct a cost-effectiveness analysis of current TB approach with innovative intervention including ACF and socio-economic interventions. conventional DOTS program from provider, health system and patient's perspectives. Possible constraints include effectively and sustainably engaging the relevant stakeholders which I will address through the BNMT established collaborative network.

Example 3: This scholarship provides me opportunity to create important networks not just with public health professional and health economists, but also with community based organisations, equity organizations, and women's organizations. In doing so, it will be possible to harness our collective voices to advocate for health related economic issues, policy reform activities, within the government. The intersectoral and multidisciplinary working increase awareness about their rights to healthcare, reduce disparities in healthcare, protect vulnerable populations through effective community based interventions. This includes the Nepal Public Health Association, Nepal Health Economics Association and equity groups to increase awareness among people about their rights to health care, effective purchasing mechanism and cost-effective interventions at community level. Possible constraints include conflicting political priorities and agendas.

Hopeful of your critical feedback.
May 5, 2020
Scholarship / Scholarship Essay Question - gained knowledge, skills, and connections - present practical examples [5]

At first, I think you need to be more practical. The skills and knowledge that you gain from scholarship should be demonstrated well. Visioning idea does not work. We cannot change anything in overnight. I think given the skills you have after scholarship, provided by the support in the country like networks, organizations you work with and your academia, you have to resolve a problem through practical work. For example:

If you want to conduct a research in the field, try to think what skills you gain to develop your research work, think about what resources and networks are available.

Hope it works.
May 5, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : The charts show school expenditure and the % of students who gained higher education [4]

It looks good and meaningful in many ways. However try to put linking words and useful paraphrasin whenever it could be benefitted. In the first paragraph, I noticed two sentences having date repetitions. You can write in this way.

"... school spending whereas the pie-chart compares the academic degree percentages of students of Singapore between 2002 and 2012."
May 8, 2020
Scholarship / AAS -District Program Coordinator role- solving a challenge and to implementing change or reform [4]


How have you contributed to solving a challenge and to implementing change or reform?
Be specific and include:
- What aspect/s of your leadership knowledge, skills and practice you consider to be well established and effective?
- Which people or organizations you worked with to solve the problem?
- What creative methods were used?

2000 characters
One of the essays for Australia Awards Scholarship


My response:

Being a public health professional, I wholeheartedly believe that positive change in the community is possible. To achieve this change is not about what you do or who you are but about your true commitment and solidarity with local communities.

In my role as district program coordinator (DPC) for Birat Nepal Medical Trust (BNMT, bnmt.org.np), I have built an extensive collaboration with Nepalese government officials, local authorities, and key stakeholders. Also, the strong community engagement particularly in vulnerable settings has fulfill my dream of working with hard to reach communities to improve their health, including through TB case detection.

Despite having larger numbers of migrant workers, homeless people, and the vulnerable indigenous Chepang people, the TB program in Chitwan district of Nepal which I support (population 700,000) has a high proportion of missed TB cases. Tuberculosis in the district span across these populations. This means vulnerable people with TB never come to seek healthcare because of lack of awareness, education, or money. To address these challenges, I coordinated with local management committees of the metropolitan office to connect with laborers and homeless people. I proactively designed contact tracing plan and deployed additional field staff to provide enhanced support to these groups outside of normal work hours. We also worked with local communities and healthcare facilities to try and coordinate visits to reach the Chepang communities who live in remote areas. With the help of proactive field staff, we increased TB case notification by 22% and managed to meet the district and WHO's target.

This was not an easy task to achieve due to length of TB treatment duration, not adequately trained health workers, poor counseling and support, and poverty and under-nutrition. I cannot see the certain situation and leave it thinking it is normal. To further improve not just TB case detection but also adherence to TB treatment, I worked with local and regional groups to provide people with TB with a pillbox, which carried two weeks' worth of medicines to their home, enhanced frequency of supervisory visits, and conscientiously formalised recording and reporting of patients' progress.

Finally, my technical ability and determination to take part in TB review meetings led me to a position in which I performed accurate and reliable TB data analysis, which was fed back to the national program. In essence, we are continuously supporting the government's initiatives and strategies to improve the health status of the country.
May 14, 2020
Undergraduate / Cybersecurity - how did you choose your proposed course and institution? [3]

One of the poorest essays I have ever seen. Think twice, thrice before you write an important thing. It is an academic scholarship statement. Try to more focus, maintain coherence of your ideas and put into the frame.

My suggestion
1. First there should be a robust rationale on how you select any university. Consider their courses and the electives that are relevant to your career and country's development, their research impact, university's plan to support you in the academically challenging environment when you enter the university etc.

2. The relevance to select your course should be based not on anecdotes, rather your personal and professional experiences and gaps.

Hopefully, your revised essay will make more sense. Good Luck Chirs!!
May 14, 2020
Student Talk / How to enhance my English? [52]

There are no any teacher to guarantee your english improvement. You should rather focus on reading articles, writing on their own without loss of meaning of each sentence. Know the words, know the way they have written.

For speaking, you have to record what you talk, practice and record, practice and record. Try to focus on your strong point first and then move towards your weakest area.
May 14, 2020
Scholarship / Proposed study essay for AAS - Water Resource Engineering [4]

You have to re-focus your essay. Particularly important is your personal and professional reasons to choose the course. Don't show about the possibility of the country's available resources. Rather focus on how you can contribute to development by studying Hydoelectrical engineering. University choices should be based on the relevance of the course rather than having not needed words like world class. This word should be represented by actions and effective training module. For example, their pioneer activities, their research in the field globally, their impact in hydroelectricity in some countries etc.

Good Luck again.