Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; The rate of employed British people based on genders in various working fields in 2005 [3]

EMPLOYMENT OF ALL MALE AND FEMALE WORKERS BY OCCUPATION IN THE UK IN 2005

The bar chart below shows the employment of all male and female workers by occupation in the UK in the year 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph provides the rate of employed British people based on genders in various working fields in 2005. Overall, men took part mostly in technical and required special training careers, whereas women are more favorable in customer service-related professions and working in office.

For high technical skilled jobs, most of the occupations were dominant by males except for associate professional and technical as women were slightly more than men by 2%. In skilled trades, the figure was different among genders, only 2% of working women compared to 20% of that in men. Similarly, for process, plant and machine operatives, the corresponding proportions were around 2% and more than 12%. In comparison, the percentage of women participated in manager and senior officials as well as professional occupations were less significant, at 11%.

In administrative and secretarial areas, on the other hand, had an outbreak in the number of female workers with 22% which was nearly 5 times greater than that of males. Likewise, sales and customer service and personal service experienced the same difference in the number of genders, since the ratio of women to men in the latter is approximately 7 to 1 and for the former, the percentage were 12% in females and about 5 % in males. Laborers and caterers careers are relatively balanced in gender.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - WHAT ARE THE CHALLENGES WHEN MOVING TO NEW PLACES AND STRATEGIES [2]

TOPIC:

People today move to new cities or new countries more than ever before.

What challenges do they experience? What strategies are there to meet these challenges?

Recently, the immigration of people to other cities or nations has been increasing more than it previously had. By moving out of their familiar zones, it is inevitable to have obstacles such as differences in culture and climate and can suffer loneliness. However, these problems can be mitigated by doing research about the destinations and joining clubs or associations to make friends.

It is known that various places have different cultures which can cause culture shock due to relatively contrary lifestyles. For example, the two continents that have almost opposed cultures are Asia and America. To elaborate, Asian often care about the tradition of the country and also treasure family bonding time whereas the Western is more independent and usually does not have many rituals to abide by. One of the numerous strategies that can be dealt with this disparity is to research about the place's history and background story before going so as to have better preparation and can help adapt to the culture easier.

Besides, there are other challenges such as the lonesomeness as well as a possibly contrasting climate from what they experience in their hometown. Firstly, people might leave their friends and families to be alone in completely new cities or countries which can lead to homesickness and loneliness. However, there are usually clubs or associations to join in order to make friends and create relationships. For instance, for foreign students, there are associations namely IDP which can assist overseas students to be accustomed to the new environment better. Furthermore, the variant weather can affect people's health if they are not adapted to it. Hence, similar to the culture, the climate should be checked prior to the migration in order to avoid unnecessary health issues.

In conclusion, emigrating to another place has occurred more lately. Undoubtedly, there are challenges such as dissimilar culture and environment and feeling lonely. As a result, people should prepare themselves carefully and be more socialized to not be isolated in a different area.

I hope my essay is not too long this time. I wrote this in 40 mins.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH POLITICAL ACTIONS TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING [6]

global warming and insufficient involvement from the government

Admittedly, global warming is known as an inevitable problem to the earth yet some argue that there is inadequate force to mitigate the overconsumption and contamination to the environment. I personally agree with this statement as there are numerous factories emitting noxious smoke and people still using too much plastic.

The enormous use of plastic is one of the main causes of climate change but has not suffered from proper prohibitive policy. Plastic goods require about 450 years to decompose but are still being used for daily purposes and are thrown away after a single consumption to purchase new ones. According to a biological center, Americans consume 100 billion plastic bags per year, which require 12 million barrels of oils to manufacture. Despite this, plastic products are still being produced and sold with a large amount for a cheaper price without being levied with a high tax.

Furthermore, pollution caused by toxic exhaust fumes of factories have not received enough strict action from the government. There are many industrial plants such as chemical and nuclear plants that are still exhausting tonnes of smoke into the atmosphere and waste into the ocean. For example, the Formosa factory in Vietnam had received complaints from the local residents about its contamination to the water source and the impact on animal and people's health. However, the government did not enact a satisfactory penalty for the factory and it is allowed to operate after all.

In conclusion, the excessive consumption of plastics and the pollution from factories are two of the main causes of global warming. Nonetheless, there is insufficient involvement from the government to ease these alarming issues.