sosososo1114
Dec 9, 2009
Graduate / 'May Fate reward your diligence' - do me a favor to check my diversity essy [7]
Could anyone do me a favor to check my diversity essy?
I am not sure this essy is suitable for my application , please give me some advise.
here it is :
'May Fate reward your diligence' His word impresses me and encourages me working hard.
On the first day of the fall semester, 2005, I served as a volunteer guide for the freshmen at the inquiry desk of the student council. When we were leaving at the end of the day after hurrying a whole day in the rain, a father with his young son came to us to ask beds for the night. Hearing his inquiry, nobody responded immediately and there was an embarrassing silence. To break it, I said, 'I will be in charge.' On the way to their aims, the father said: 'May Fate reward your diligence.' In that year I was repaid because of my effort. Except for various scholarships and awards, I obtained the presidentship in my club as well as the membership in the martial art team.
Sometimes fate rewards your effort with not success but failure. At the beginning of my third year I was almost overwhelmed by depression after failing in the martial art competition. For a year, what encouraged me to get through the grueling training was the belief that my hardworking would be rewarded in the competition but at that moment, it was thrown over. To keep away from depression, I forced myself to read desperately. I drove myself to learn new skills, such as FORTRAN, Flash, MatLab, anything latent to excite my neurons. Surprisingly, partly due to my study experience in the third year, I won an internship in Professor Guangcai Gong's lab, where I start my first research. Without the failure, I might not study those skills or thesis. I probably might not receive that internship, let alone writing here for a further study opportunity oversea. Failure may be as worthy as success when it is treat correctly.
Due to the internship, I find it interesting and challenging to build up a convenient artificial environment with least energy input. The internship offers me opportunity to evaluate HVAC systems in paper mills and commercial buildings. But what cheers up me most is that I started my first research on heat pump. Occasionally I noticed that the air source heat pump installed in our office blows cold wind about every forty minutes under heating model when it rains. To find out what lies behind, I learned further and found frost forms on the outdoor coil with an ambient temperature at 4℃. The effects that several factors play on frost formation are analyzed qualitatively and verified, however, seldom study measures the quantitative weights of each. Thus, I told Professor Gong what's in my mind and now the model is finished. With its findings presented in the fifth International Workshop on Energy and Environment of Residential Buildings and The Third International Conference on Built Environment and Public Health (EERBBEPH) Guilin, Guangxi Province, China on May 29-31, 2009, now the paper has been submitted to Journal Applied Thermal Energy under review.
Could anyone do me a favor to check my diversity essy?
I am not sure this essy is suitable for my application , please give me some advise.
here it is :
'May Fate reward your diligence' His word impresses me and encourages me working hard.
On the first day of the fall semester, 2005, I served as a volunteer guide for the freshmen at the inquiry desk of the student council. When we were leaving at the end of the day after hurrying a whole day in the rain, a father with his young son came to us to ask beds for the night. Hearing his inquiry, nobody responded immediately and there was an embarrassing silence. To break it, I said, 'I will be in charge.' On the way to their aims, the father said: 'May Fate reward your diligence.' In that year I was repaid because of my effort. Except for various scholarships and awards, I obtained the presidentship in my club as well as the membership in the martial art team.
Sometimes fate rewards your effort with not success but failure. At the beginning of my third year I was almost overwhelmed by depression after failing in the martial art competition. For a year, what encouraged me to get through the grueling training was the belief that my hardworking would be rewarded in the competition but at that moment, it was thrown over. To keep away from depression, I forced myself to read desperately. I drove myself to learn new skills, such as FORTRAN, Flash, MatLab, anything latent to excite my neurons. Surprisingly, partly due to my study experience in the third year, I won an internship in Professor Guangcai Gong's lab, where I start my first research. Without the failure, I might not study those skills or thesis. I probably might not receive that internship, let alone writing here for a further study opportunity oversea. Failure may be as worthy as success when it is treat correctly.
Due to the internship, I find it interesting and challenging to build up a convenient artificial environment with least energy input. The internship offers me opportunity to evaluate HVAC systems in paper mills and commercial buildings. But what cheers up me most is that I started my first research on heat pump. Occasionally I noticed that the air source heat pump installed in our office blows cold wind about every forty minutes under heating model when it rains. To find out what lies behind, I learned further and found frost forms on the outdoor coil with an ambient temperature at 4℃. The effects that several factors play on frost formation are analyzed qualitatively and verified, however, seldom study measures the quantitative weights of each. Thus, I told Professor Gong what's in my mind and now the model is finished. With its findings presented in the fifth International Workshop on Energy and Environment of Residential Buildings and The Third International Conference on Built Environment and Public Health (EERBBEPH) Guilin, Guangxi Province, China on May 29-31, 2009, now the paper has been submitted to Journal Applied Thermal Energy under review.
