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Posts by marpals
Joined: Jan 2, 2010
Last Post: Feb 1, 2010
Threads: 5
Posts: 20  

From: nepal

Displayed posts: 25
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Jan 2, 2010
Writing Feedback / "Terrorism is not new." - can sb help me edit this analytical writing piece? [5]

"Terrorism is not new. What is new is the way terrorists today can take advantage of globalization."- Martha Crenshaw and Maryann Cusimano Love.

Globalization has taken its own tolls. Everything being a click away to gazillions of information on the internet, people can simply take advantage of the luxury and indifference of the service provided. The information range is wide and extends from the very basic to the most crucial of subjects. Just like the way I can google anything that my subtle mind wants to, others may be able to derive a whole lot of information about crucial topics which may include terrorism and/or even bomb making. Hence, the ease of terrorizing the conformist populace right from a bed or any other place through an internet access is simply so convenient and tempting for some people with wrong intentions.

This sounds genuinely intimidating especially when the terror of terrorism has been greatly alarming. With every effort to feel a little bit more secure than yesterday, terrorism should be fought not just on grounds but also amid the internet web which has been one of the major causes of increasing number of terrorists. In 1998 there were 12 terrorist-related Web sites; today, there are over 4500. As government authorities ban terrorist websites, hundreds of successors crop up with mirror postings. Worried that fixed websites are too vulnerable, terrorist groups like the Al Qaeda use more mobile and difficult-to-track postings on bulletin boards, internet storage sites, and chat rooms. It is well known that every government of the world has sought to fight terrorism with all its might. Contextually, I see a dire requisite of having the focus diverted more towards the internet.

As with cyber terrorism, the Al Qaeda training is still available 24/7 cheaply and globally on the internet despite the enactment of U.S. and coalition forces that raided and prohibited Al Qaeda camps in Afghanistan throughout 2001 and 2002. It would be an understatement that efforts have not been made to tackle and/or control the websites which have seemingly made the lives of terrorists so much easier than it would have ever been. However, the effectiveness of such approach without having an international body regulate the internet sites to stop terrorism is questionable. Thousands of videos are posted every second in the YouTube from all over the world, needless to mention the millions of threads and posts on Facebook. On this note, it is almost impossible to refine each and every comment that is posted on such social networks. Hence, an international body to legalize the "standard" internet with secured content ought to be initiated.

Then again, internet security cannot be made satisfactorily reliable by plainly scrutinizing the contents of websites and categorizing sites under "trusted". The "networking" game as earlier mentioned becomes even more hazardous when it comes to sharing information through the sites which go unnoticed but are well capable of provoking thoughts. While it is hard to overcome the temptation of flaunting my latest videos into these networking sites, I of course wouldn't like to be kept waiting until the obnoxious phrase "please wait for a few seconds while we review your data for security reasons" goes off my window. Likewise, other business companies would be grieving at their worthless expense of instant accessibility promised to their customers while the very states fighting terrorism would be reluctant to allow their multimillion companies bear the cost of fight against terrorism. Therefore, the pragmatic facets and the tradeoffs that the world is hardly ready to bear while implementing such regulations of an international body make the goal sound impractical.

The internet serves as an easy medium to all; some use it constructively while groups like that of terrorists use it to spread their messages of hate and violence and to communicate with one another and with sympathizers. This ease at many instances has made civilians be the target of terrorists who seek to intensify cyber terrorism by easily exploiting computer networks. Hence, a regulatory body must be prompted through a global effort. Though the complications, tradeoffs and the reluctance might hinder the proposition and give an impression of an unrealistic goal, the idea could stand out as a good bargain if terrorism will be controlled to some extent by the elimination of some offensive sites. Thus, despite the limitations and difficulties, a regulatory international body could be effectual in making the world more secure from the minds that seek ways to terrorize people by misusing the internet.
Jan 2, 2010
Undergraduate / "REACHING FOR MY DREAMS" - Why motivates you to go to Rice [4]

Second last line: I am ____ little boy. - may be "that"
Well you could do one thing.. Follow only one structure throughout.. either first person or third. That might be an easy read for others and rythmic too. Otherwise it was a flawless essay.

Gud luck with your app!!
Jan 7, 2010
Writing Feedback / "Terrorism is not new." - can sb help me edit this analytical writing piece? [5]

Hey Yin!
Tnx a lot. I actually agree wid you that the first paragraph completely seems bizzarre and out of the topic. But, the topic isn't abt cyberterrorism on its own. Its sumwhat linking to the point but the topic is,

Following the September 11th attack where the Al Qaeda acquired bomb making and terrorist knowledge over the internet, many lawmakers have proposed that an international body regulate the internet so that sites which provide information to terrorists could be eliminated. Do you think it could be effective? Support your views with reasons and or examples from your own experience, observation or readings.

Please give me some tips to it... I'd be more than happy to have your edited version on some of its parts.
Tnx again!
Jan 7, 2010
Undergraduate / I dwell in the beauty and power of words. UW undergrad essay. [6]

Its a flawless essay.. But, as it asks to describe an experience and then judge its impact on your life, I think you could cut out a lil bit of your description on your love for literature and focus on what you have ultimately gained. I think this will help you!!!
Jan 9, 2010
Student Talk / Where to get more free SAT score reports from? [5]

Apart from the initial free SAT score reports that you have to order within 9 days after the test date, college board facilitates test-takers with 4 more free SAT Score reports.

Does anybody exactly know where to go for those 4 more free SAT score reports???
Please help!!!
Jan 9, 2010
Undergraduate / faced dyslexia, human psyche - University application essay [3]

1) The word devastated must be changed.
2) "Every kid" sounds very typical. Make it a bit rhetorical and if possible indirect. That would sound more like you really think what you are writing.

3) Determined to beat dyslexia??? Does that really make sense? You could overcome its effects.. not beat the disease. Change the whole sentence. You dun have to work hard to seek a cure or palliative for a disease. I think its more of your mental stress I guess.
Jan 9, 2010
Undergraduate / 'Wearing school uniform' - Haverford College Supplement-Honor Code [5]

replace "whatever"..clothes
I think its more of your past experience. So try to change the tense. All I know is that it should not be in present tense.

Overall, you have been able to express yourself in a simple way. Thats good I think.
Jan 9, 2010
Undergraduate / "Social Science Department (Economics) - academic or intellectual curiosities? [8]

I am pretty confused if this is what they require. I have added a bit of my personal experience in leraning. My impression of good teachers and finally my interests. The last sentences express what I want to do with these interests of mine.

Please have a look and I would be happy to hear your comments- more of criticism.. I'd appreciate that.
And please let me know if the conversation is really an important part in this essay!!!

Location: Social Science Department (Economics Class)
Teacher:Welcome class.(Without any sort of introduction, opens the book)You must know what is demand and supply,opportunity cost,elasticity,utility,etc as they are the basics of economics.

Me:(Blank)I made a mistake;should have chosen Further Mathematics instead
Teacher:Goes on introducing the demand and supply curves
Me:I was wondering if the concept was similar to geometry
This way,my first economics class was awful.I did not even know what Economics was let alone the possibility of understanding the demand and supply affairs.I could not help but learn on my own.Since learning by myself was all the more arduous and confusing too,I was decided to take tuition classes.I started believing that a teacher can really arouse interest with a good style of teaching.Before,I was reluctant to even relate the demand and supply curves in the real world.However,amazingly with the tutor's charisma,I was able to debate about the Philips curve of economics with my father during a regular old tea gathering.It was then I realized that Economics,a subject which previously used to victimize me with symptoms of dyslexia,had started charming me.Just like solving a tricky problem in Math has always provoked me to try another difficult one,Economics has trapped me by its coherence with the contemporary challenge of recession to step ahead in the global arena.Besides,Math has always consoled me.Even during those incomprehensible Economics classes,Math would always chip in as usual with its trickiness and reassure me with its familiarity.My passion to hit the solution of a very difficult problem will forever feed my fascination with the vast world of Math.Economics and Math could make a good couple.But,with International relations as a supplement to my academic career, 10 years from now,I can definitely envision myself as a successful lawyer,given,I have a strong command over English language to express myself, something I long for.

Jan 9, 2010
Undergraduate / "Social Science Department (Economics) - academic or intellectual curiosities? [8]

Hey yang!
Well its a short essay type question which has a word limit of 2000 characters..
The question is,
What are your current academic and/or intellectual curiosities?
Please help me out asap... I will help you too.. The conversation is bit like a gesture..you know.. i thot that would add a lil bit of stance to my overall essay.

Jan 9, 2010
Student Talk / Where to get more free SAT score reports from? [5]

Envie- I am very sorry! Hehe..
Yang- Tnx again.. You've been of much help!!! And you are right.. I just found it out.. the four free reports are for those who have the fee waiver identification code.. :)
Jan 9, 2010
Student Talk / Application Question January [127]

that means you can submit your app no later than Jan 1st 11:59 EST... not your local time.
Jan 10, 2010
Undergraduate / "Social Science Department (Economics) - academic or intellectual curiosities? [8]

Tnx Yang.
Even I didn't seem to understand what I wrote. Lol..
So I wrote a new one. Sorry to trouble you. But I really appreciate what you have commented above.
Well I am posting the new one here. I hope you like this better.

While we realize your interests may change in college, what are your current academic or intellectual curiosities?

Response: Looking through the advent of current political tribulations and turmoil, accompanied by everyday protests and melancholy in Nepal, where hunger and strife have hit the highest point, poor economy seems to be the major curb to national stability. As economic recession together with political violence has been afflicting the nation at a strikingly rapid pace, children are deprived of habitual recreation due to killing and kidnapping, adults are struggling hard to manage even a subsistent living standard because of rocketing prices, shrinking job opportunities and food shortages and the elderly groups are traumatized as being suffocated around the four walls due to growing fear.

Having had all my education in a troubled third world country, I now realize the importance of having the strength to make a difference in my own country. One of the biggest obstacles to our nation's stability is the relatively big clique of people who like nothing more than aping the manners of the Europeans and the American ways of resolving problems. Imitating a different culture will not work as each culture has its own distinction; its own face and its own domain. So ever since I could contemplate over the sedatives for our country's current model, I have been eager to come up with my own for Nepal because development starts with a thought. Economy being the major concern today, the study of economics is what clicks me always. By its coherence with the practical world, economics creates a wealth of thought provoking ideas in my mind, all of which help me understand the major setback to our country's wealth, employment and overall stability. With its relevance to every problem of our country, poverty, discrimination, violation, etc., economics fascinates me with its method of systematic organization under stark restriction and thus, encourages me to be able to apply its concept in the real world consequences which could one day take the form of regaining overall stability in Nepal.
Jan 24, 2010
Undergraduate / (top 25 law schools) Why did you choose to apply to Franklin and Marshall? [3]

Please help me with this one. I will definitely help you too. And do let me know ways I can make it better. - Thanks a lot!

Why did you choose to apply to Franklin and Marshall?
Too many variables come into play when one is presented with multiple options, multiple directions as far as one's future is concerned. The burden, I believe, is even higher when it's presented to an international high school graduate who seeks for financial assistance. I made several calls from Nepal to a number of universities of my interest. Following through with those calls, I started feeling that the worth of my conversations got lower as I inquired about financial aids. Due to the poor responses from nearly all the colleges, I felt very inferior and unlucky to have been born in a third world country which terribly lacks in resources. However, it was because of a staff at FandM with a very welcoming gesture that I was able to regain my initial hope of studying in the US. She ardently explained the various scholarship programs and need-based financial aid offers while enthusiastically sharing with me, the prospect of enrollment for international students at FandM. So, I vividly recall that it was simply the warm and responsive FandM family which initially touched my heart.

I feel that Franklin and Marshall stands beyond a literal college's synonymy. Ever since I got such a wonderful response, I have always had a very different perspective about this college. The courtesy and thoughtfulness indeed had a lasting impression. Yet, as I explore more, I feel more indebt for what the college has in store for me for the four years of my experience. I have faith in its overall conduct which totally outshines what other liberal arts colleges have to offer to their students. Be it its friendly professors and peers or the unique and extraordinary liberal arts education which tries to connect innovation with practicality in the real world, FandM has undoubtedly been successful in having its intimidating presence in my mind.

A home to quarter of international students, I couldn't feel more welcomed and valued. In fact, I could not find the scope of multiculturalism any better than in FandM. It not only prophesizes the notion of diversity and fusion but also integrally embraces it in almost every part of the college tradition. As I soaked up the college's unique philosophy of foreign languages being the gateway to understanding other cultures, I was particularly inspired by the way it acknowledges internationalism. I genuinely accept as true that in order to fully participate in the global society, we must study other languages, literatures and cultures. Needless to mention its innovative International Club, Office of Multicultural Affairs (OMCA), Ware Institute of Civic Engagement, Asian Cultural Society and Culture Corner, which are all intended at extending diversity, Franklin and Marshall is highly committed in bringing a global perspective with access, opportunity and equity. Hence, FandM has strongly enticed me with its eclectic cultural breadth from which I expect to continually aspire to savor something new, learn from the assorted ethos while celebrating the differences.

Fand M as a transforming agent with its 80 clubs and organizations, will give me chances to open up to new horizons of learning and engagement therefore instilling leadership traits and a sociable nature in me. Most importantly, the fact that 90% of F&M students get admitted to the top 25 law schools in the USA was a strong hold to my decision as I believe that it is just the "right fit" for my goals and aspirations. I strongly feel that FandM has the competence to train me and prepare me accordingly with the demands of the 21st century. Hence, from the diverse ethical and racial mixture of the student body, which would definitely help my growth as a "global youth," to the various, very practical, educational disciplines offered here, it was everything I look for in an institution.
Jan 26, 2010
Student Talk / Do SAT scores really count? [62]

Hello.. It seems like the deadlines for most of the colleges have passed now.. and I think its better not to waste your time on SATs... What you do is find a college which doesn't require SAT or considers all other pieces in your application apart from just the SAT scores. For universities which say, SAT is required, then it depends whether it is an ivy league or a liberal arts college.. It really depends on the colleges' requirements.. So I suggest you to look for colleges which do not ask for SAT scores. I think this will help.
Jan 27, 2010
Undergraduate / My greatest contribution to Franklin & Marshall would be supporting its mission [9]

I have just written my "greatest" and one and only contribution. Please comment upon my essay and tell me if I can add something more to it. My writing is often not clear and obviously not perfect... So I am very open to criticisms. Thank you!!!

What would be your greatest contribution to the Franklin and Marshall community?The purpose of Franklin and Marshall is to serve the global community as it holds the theme of being a "global institution." I truly feel that the world has to develop equally and internationally. Every time I ponder upon the thought of global enhancement, the gap between the developed and the least developed countries of this world triggers me to question, "Does it make us any happier in being able to lead a lavish and comfortable life while others may be lying on the streets struggling for a day's meal?" Today, the Haitians are suffering serious problems, Somalians alike. Our concern must be greater towards solving the problems of the world rather than in simply living a normal life.

It has actually been a blessing in disguise to be a citizen of a third world country like Nepal. Having been exposed to the elements of constant upheaval in Nepal, I am well aware and better able to relate the issues of my country in a global context. The theme of "think global, act local" does not convince me as I believe in evenness; evenness in the community we all share. Therefore, we must step ahead to enhance not only our vicinity but the world as a whole. I feel that a big corporate house or a factory in front of a slum has no reason to be called favorably placed or prosperous because it lacks similitude with its neighborhood. Likewise, the disparity amongst the nations of the world today makes it look incomplete. To make it better, we all should think globally and act globally too.

Franklin and Marshall's mission of "making a difference globally", rightly resonates with my desire to contribute meaningfully to my community and eventually to the world. My greatest contribution to Franklin and Marshall, which is largely committed to serving the global world, would be supporting its mission by starting from my own country, committing to build greater access, opportunity and equity to the people of Nepal. If only I could play a role in creating professionalism and bringing reform among the local youths in the remote areas of Nepal, the world would definitely be fairer to these people who are bound by limited access in life. On the other hand, it could obtain a better future with a more diverse pool of competent intellects who are devoted to its advancement.

Therefore, my goal is to combine excellence in education and diversity so that I am able to apply what I have learned from the remote regions of Nepal and then eradicate inadequacies in those areas, thus representing Franklin and Marshall College. I believe I can make a difference by alleviating rural poverty with new and sustainable means of employment suitable for the Nepalese terrain. So, as a member of the vibrant community of Franklin and Marshall, I expect to extend my hands in upgrading the living standards of the indigenous people of Nepal. The endeavor, however small it may seem, will indeed prove effectual in inspiring other people to start from their own immediate area. Throughout, I will be acting for Franklin and Marshall, thus stressing upon its significance and essence of global education.
Jan 31, 2010
Undergraduate / Penn State -- yourself, your experiences, or activities [6]

To understand where I am coming from as a studentI come from as a student , it is important for me to explain about the challenges I have gone through as a student and as a person, but also the success I've had, especially as a leader and volunteer.But, it is also important to mention my achievements, especially as a leader and a volunteer.Two years ago I moved to California from Nigeriatwo years ago . While I was in Nigeria, I was an indifferent studentjust another student and one in the crowd .Now that I have realized the importance to stand out amongst the crowd, I am tremendously motivated to achieve my goals of becoming a petroleum engineer. Today I am tremendously motivated to succeed as petroleum engineer.

Two years before my graduation from secondary school , I had completely lost interest in my academics, totally forgetting the worth of education. My perception toward education was absolutely changed and I was more upto partying and gambling .I changed my prospective and started focusing more on irrelevant activities such as parting and gambling . Throughout the entire 2004 academic session, I can clearly count the number of timesdays I attended classes or even opened my book to study. Despite the financial hardship which the bad economy lead my parents into,my parents financial condition, I continued to be least bothered about my life and never paid heed to the challenges my studies gave me.