Scholarship / "My Father, Mother and an interest in engineering" - my essay for a scholarship [5]

The question asks: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? (800 word limit) *

My father does not say much about my mother, maybe it is because I do not frequently inquire about her due to my ignorance or maybe is because of the pain, that dug deep into his heart from her death; however, when he did say something he told me, "she loved you with all of her heart."

I remember a time when I was around the age of 5 when my mother and I were washing up to go to bed. I finished washing my face and while I squeezed my eyes shut together because of my fear of water entering my eyes and turning me blind, I aimlessly searched for a cloth to wipe my face. My mom handed me a cloth, while she still had soap and water. I had asked her, " mom, doesn't opening your eyes hurt?" she looked up, her face still covered with white soap foam she replied, "no" I asked, "how come?" she smiled and replied, "because you're here.." I knew she was lying but I quietly just accepted it.. This memory seems insignificant, but to me it is the most vivid memory I have, I could just see through the white foam and see how much she loved me.

Suddenly, my mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer and the doctors were not sure how much longer she would live. My father was a president of a company that was beginning to do extremely well; however, when my mother was sick, my father quit the job to nurse my her. Even though my father was nursing my mother living off our grandparents, my mother's condition continued to become worse; I had to watch her once long black hair disappear; her wide smile diminish; and her life eventually died.

One day, early in the morning, I was preparing to walk to school when my mom came out and said, "I'll take you" and so I went with my mom. At the front door of the school as I walked into the school, my mother called out to me and said, "I love you honey." I did not know then, that those would be the last words she would say through her pain. I was busy working on a fill in color book during class and my teacher suddenly came up to me with a sorrowful face. I looked up and asked "what is wrong Mrs Z?" and she seemed to take a deep breathe as she told me, "Eddie, your mom has passed away." Once at home I arrived as the paramedics were taking my mother away and I ran up to them and I cried, I clawed, I climbed over the men screaming. At her funeral, families and friends crowded into a church. I tried not to cry, I could not accept reality and began to deny everything that was happening around me and crying would mean I accepted reality. As the priest's sermon continued, my resolve of denial grew stronger and stronger until I was living in my own illusion. The preacher signed for the end of the sermon and people filed in a line to say their final goodbyes. After everyone had passed by, I walked towards the open casket. When I peered into the open casket my resolve collapsed and the tears fell. I began to reminisce about her and in her death I realized her love for me was immense.

From then on I vowed that the love she had given me would not simply waste away, that I would share her love and my mind expanded allowing for compassion and sympathy. I would sign up for church community service projects for helping people and I comforted my friend through his father's cancer treatment through middle school. I then began to have an interest in engineering. Engineering had changed the world in innumerable ways, medicine for the sick, bridges to cross massive lands and machines that daily facilitate the tasks of their lives. This is how I wish to share my mother's love for me by creating machines that daily assists people and clean our environment. I guess this is why my sister wrote this for her eight word story: "She maybe gone but her heart stays forever."