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Posts by kawsneffect
Joined: Oct 11, 2010
Last Post: Dec 8, 2013
Threads: 8
Posts: 37  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 45 / page 2 of 2
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kawsneffect   
Oct 11, 2010
Undergraduate / "A Mug of Bliss" - Yale supplement essay help, should I submit this? [9]

i like it. it is very descriptive. this essay is somewhat personal (you and the comparison to coffee). there are a few unnecessary sentence you can take out. ill let you figure that out on your own lol. overall excellent piece of work. hope you get into yale

best of luck
kawsneffect   
Oct 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / "Honoring your parents" - my unexamined belief essay? [9]

so should i write it like this?

challenging parents is an unexamined belief only in SOME cultures. Why do some cultures believe that children must honor their father and mother?

thank you for your input
kawsneffect   
Oct 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / "Honoring your parents" - my unexamined belief essay? [9]

thank you for your input icemaster.
i feel as if my thesis is lacking
can anyone help revise my writing if possible.
thank you

also what should i include in my last paragraph?
kawsneffect   
Oct 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / "Honoring your parents" - my unexamined belief essay? [9]

i'm not sure if my topic "honoring your parents" is proper for my english assignment, An unexamined belief.

from my understanding,unexamined belief should be something unobserved like why human come to believe that it's righteous to wear clothes.

here's my essay
i dont know what to include in my last 2 body paragraph. should i relate a story from my past?

all answer would be greatly appreciated

Honoring your parents

Few people examine their belief about children's respect towards their parents. Why do people believe that children must honor their father and mother? According to the bible, it is stated that children were to "Honor their father and their mother in order that their days may prove to be long upon the ground" exodus 20:12. Although many people do not believe in the bible and the mythology behind it, the principle of this commandment can be beneficial to many.

People who hold this belief usually realize how tough it is for their mother to give birth, and their father to support the family. Through obeying parents, the child can learn the experience of the parents that can be utterly hard to explain. Honoring parents originated from mentors, the environment and the bible. To the people who hold this belief, they gain respect from their parents. This belief was transmitted from the American holidays, both mother and father's day. This has been our tradition for decades and will continue to pass on to our future generation.

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