flyhigh
Nov 12, 2010
Undergraduate / Well reflects sb's personality and uniqueness? COMMON APP [5]
Hi all, do you think this essay tells who i am, rather than just a story? If not, any suggestions?
I will look at yours too!!
Person who influenced you. did it in a letter format.
Dear Mom,
I laid my head in the cold pillow soaked with tears on the moon-lit night before the SAT test.
On that Friday night, I was anxiously waiting for you and dad to go on MSN after dinner to cheer me up. But dad's words from a week ago, when I last phoned him, flashed in my mind and punched my heart: "Your mom is doing a regular 'body check'. We won't be home for a couple days. Take care of yourself." My hunch feeling told me that something was wrong. After a whole night of waiting, I gave up and called, but only to learn from grandpa that you were at the hospital, getting a surgery to have your uterus removed.
Why didn't you tell me?
Five years ago, when I was eleven, I landed in Canada with dad. Although the first couple months were heart-breaking for both you and me, I started to shake off the hook and took off to my new world with my fledgling wings. Because of your absence, I grew up, but differently from everyone I know.
I first learned to be a caring adult. Since dad lacked the delicate caring of a mother, I cooked, I cleaned the house, I did laundry, not only for myself, but also for dad. Seeing I could take care of him, dad started to rely on me so much that I took over more complex matters such as house mortgages and applying for visas, things that are never taken care of by the kids were there any parent in a family.
As I started to see myself excelling in family affairs that no one else of my same age could handle, I learned to be an outstanding student and felt sky was my limit. Since I grew aware that you were not by my side to give me security and supervision that everyone else had, I put myself whole-heartedly into studying, into organizing schools events using excellent skills I had gained through a rather not-so-desired process. I felt only through self-controlling and high achievement could I make myself a normal child. Luckily, my excellence in school gradually filled up the holes in my heart and drove me to aim higher, and made me a stronger adult than everyone else.
Ironically, while all these positive changes took place and my own world took its shape without you, I got frustrated at you because you didn't understand me. Your endless questions about my life irritated me, and I even forgot how tender your love was. But I was too naïve to know you were hurt too by the thousand miles of ocean between us.
I am glad how I soon turned my head around. When I devoted myself to the world without you and to the textbooks and school activities, the knowledge taught me how arrogant I was at judging myself, and how I mistreated you and overlooked the sacrifice you had made. Even more, as I was improving everyday, I started to realize maybe you had become more vulnerable, and how much power I have gained over the years to make a difference.
Remember when I was little, we went to a park and I asked you, "Mom, why is the flower so red?" You looked into my eyes and answered, "Because the flower is reddened by the root's blood". I was your flower, your blood. For the first time, I learned to understand what the root did while hidden in the ground and what she wanted to say - she wished the flower to be as beautiful as she can be with the root's nourishment.
Now, as memories of the past years started to flood into my mind, I wished I had never left you. Without your presence and protection, however, I not only became a tough adult, but an adult who now has a warm heart.
Tomorrow would be a big day for both of us. Tomorrow our fate would be linked together again, like the day you brought me to this world. And from tomorrow on, I will love you again, I promise.
With Love
Hi all, do you think this essay tells who i am, rather than just a story? If not, any suggestions?
I will look at yours too!!
Person who influenced you. did it in a letter format.
Dear Mom,
I laid my head in the cold pillow soaked with tears on the moon-lit night before the SAT test.
On that Friday night, I was anxiously waiting for you and dad to go on MSN after dinner to cheer me up. But dad's words from a week ago, when I last phoned him, flashed in my mind and punched my heart: "Your mom is doing a regular 'body check'. We won't be home for a couple days. Take care of yourself." My hunch feeling told me that something was wrong. After a whole night of waiting, I gave up and called, but only to learn from grandpa that you were at the hospital, getting a surgery to have your uterus removed.
Why didn't you tell me?
Five years ago, when I was eleven, I landed in Canada with dad. Although the first couple months were heart-breaking for both you and me, I started to shake off the hook and took off to my new world with my fledgling wings. Because of your absence, I grew up, but differently from everyone I know.
I first learned to be a caring adult. Since dad lacked the delicate caring of a mother, I cooked, I cleaned the house, I did laundry, not only for myself, but also for dad. Seeing I could take care of him, dad started to rely on me so much that I took over more complex matters such as house mortgages and applying for visas, things that are never taken care of by the kids were there any parent in a family.
As I started to see myself excelling in family affairs that no one else of my same age could handle, I learned to be an outstanding student and felt sky was my limit. Since I grew aware that you were not by my side to give me security and supervision that everyone else had, I put myself whole-heartedly into studying, into organizing schools events using excellent skills I had gained through a rather not-so-desired process. I felt only through self-controlling and high achievement could I make myself a normal child. Luckily, my excellence in school gradually filled up the holes in my heart and drove me to aim higher, and made me a stronger adult than everyone else.
Ironically, while all these positive changes took place and my own world took its shape without you, I got frustrated at you because you didn't understand me. Your endless questions about my life irritated me, and I even forgot how tender your love was. But I was too naïve to know you were hurt too by the thousand miles of ocean between us.
I am glad how I soon turned my head around. When I devoted myself to the world without you and to the textbooks and school activities, the knowledge taught me how arrogant I was at judging myself, and how I mistreated you and overlooked the sacrifice you had made. Even more, as I was improving everyday, I started to realize maybe you had become more vulnerable, and how much power I have gained over the years to make a difference.
Remember when I was little, we went to a park and I asked you, "Mom, why is the flower so red?" You looked into my eyes and answered, "Because the flower is reddened by the root's blood". I was your flower, your blood. For the first time, I learned to understand what the root did while hidden in the ground and what she wanted to say - she wished the flower to be as beautiful as she can be with the root's nourishment.
Now, as memories of the past years started to flood into my mind, I wished I had never left you. Without your presence and protection, however, I not only became a tough adult, but an adult who now has a warm heart.
Tomorrow would be a big day for both of us. Tomorrow our fate would be linked together again, like the day you brought me to this world. And from tomorrow on, I will love you again, I promise.
With Love
