simardownn
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / Why Columbia: A Unique but Unusual Approach. Is it too Wierd? [14]
Umm, can I say wow?
The beginning was great! It is definitely not too weird. Salient details.
The only thing I would say is some of the sentences are too long. Make them into separate sentences.
Such hysteria and rumor mongering is put to a triumphant rest by Columbia, a large research university at the heart of throbbing NYC that provides all the practical advantages of modernity and progress yet preserves the ideal of broad based study with its unmatched Core Curriculum.
I want to immerse myself: test the limits of my mind and stretch its imagination into every area of study, to walk into a dinner party and converse with the musician and the scientist with equal dexterity, to marinate in the atmosphere of knowledge and exploration that is so palpable at Columbia's campus.
Great example with the dinner party though!
Can't end a sentence with a preposition
Bread based education, a degree good only for a comfortable desk job and a neat house in Suburbia with two cars on the driveway, isn't a fate I care to surrender myself to .
Can't end a sentence with a preposition.
To do this, amidst the smoke and lights of the most cosmopolitan city in the world, brings together education and opportunity in an explosively perfect combination.
I felt the ending was incomplete. It sort of abruptly ended. But, your word choice and examples were great!
Umm, can I say wow?
The beginning was great! It is definitely not too weird. Salient details.
The only thing I would say is some of the sentences are too long. Make them into separate sentences.
Such hysteria and rumor mongering is put to a triumphant rest by Columbia, a large research university at the heart of throbbing NYC that provides all the practical advantages of modernity and progress yet preserves the ideal of broad based study with its unmatched Core Curriculum.
I want to immerse myself: test the limits of my mind and stretch its imagination into every area of study, to walk into a dinner party and converse with the musician and the scientist with equal dexterity, to marinate in the atmosphere of knowledge and exploration that is so palpable at Columbia's campus.
Great example with the dinner party though!
Can't end a sentence with a preposition
Bread based education, a degree good only for a comfortable desk job and a neat house in Suburbia with two cars on the driveway, isn't a fate I care to surrender myself to .
Can't end a sentence with a preposition.
To do this, amidst the smoke and lights of the most cosmopolitan city in the world, brings together education and opportunity in an explosively perfect combination.
I felt the ending was incomplete. It sort of abruptly ended. But, your word choice and examples were great!