Writing Feedback / TOEFL - In general, people live longer now. Why? [4]

Every year we be aware of that life expectancy increase, so it shows that people live longer than before. Advent of new devices and develop in sciences, help people live longer than the past. Furthermore, people live much healthier and doctors are able to treat most of diseases due to new medicines.

Firstly, development of medical science lead to longer lifespan. Everyday scientists find new medicines, or new methods for treat illnesses. Some diseases in the past seemed to be very hard to diagnostic and remedy, but today doctors can diagnosis and cure diseases in less than hours. Furthermore, some new medical devices help people to control they major health factors by themselves. A good example of this is people who suffer form diabet. They can test their blood sugar level daily by a small gadget.

Furthermore, new gadgets and devices make human life easier. In the past, for instance, took many weeks to travel long distance, but nowadays we can travel similar distance with planes in a few hours. Another example is industrial machinery that makes labour work easier; moreover, these machinery do tasks that are hazardous to their health. Generally, these new gadgets decrease risk of expose to dangerous situation for human.

Lastly, people are more educated and they know more about how to take care themselves. Nowadays every newspaper has a special page about health or we have special TV and radio programes that all try to increase people knowledge about their health; thus, people are more aware about how to protect their health condition and avoid eat or drink foods that are harmful to their health.

All in all, people live longer because they know more how to live healthy, new machinery do hard task for us. These improvement not only increase our lifespan, but also helps us to more enjoy our life.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Teenagers have jobs while they are students? UNICEF discourages states [NEW]

TOEFL - In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion.
Most developed countries have strong regulations that does not allow employers to employ teenagers. However, in third world countries, usually countries are located in Asia, Africa and south America, that suffer from poverty working for teenagers is an normal activity and inevitable. Although UNICEF discourages governments to have a strong policy against working young children, they are not fully successful.

Some nations that are not wealthy enough because of large population or other reasons, so young children does not have enough facilities to study in calm situation. Thus, they have to work not matter of sex or age. If they do not work hard, they have problem with basic needs such as food, clothing, and shelter. Thus, they do not have any other choices unless work hard. Moreover, they should save some of their income for other family members because some of them are too young or too old for working or having disabilities.

On the other hand, many sociologist and psychologists believe that governments should not allow workers to hire teenagers. First, they are in their growing ages, so they are not strong enough to tolerate long working hours or jobs stress. They should have safe circumstance for growing and have a chance to eat good foods and play with their peers.

Second reason why teenagers should not work in their teenage years is that they should concentrate on their education because this is only chance they have in their live to going to schools and studying. Furthermore, if they study in a good condition, in the future, they will be more positive and they can do better jobs.

All in all, Although in some countries because of their bad situations teenagers have to work, generally, governments should formulate a strong policy and support teenagers to not working and pursuing their educations because they are not mature enough to work and they will not find opportunities to going to schools in the future.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL - people believe about the human activity effects on the Earth [2]

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed by human activity. Other feel that human activity make the Earth a better place to live. Agree|Disagree?

Although our Earth is young in comparison with other solar system plants, it has more than four billion years old. During these years many different phenomena completely changed our Earth. Humankind only live in Earth for about five thousand years, so it is few years in comparison with Earth age. People are divided into two camps according to human activities effects on this planet. Some people believe that our activities will damage the Earth. Others think these activities are not very harmful in comparison with other phenomena happened to the Earth.

The first reason why many people believe that human activities are not harmful is mankind have had some benefits for the Earth. For example, human have tried to save some endangered species. Some species are saved by people and some new species that are very helpful are being created by genetic science. Furthermore, human try to decrease negative effects of some disasters. For instance, by expanding the forest, growing tree near rivers and building dams human try to decrease negative effects of floods.

On the other hand, many people think that the Earth is being harmed by human activities such as using extensively from non-renewable resources such as fossil fuels. These days our cities are full of colorful cars and buses that all need energy to move. Thus, using fossil fules is growing day by day. As a result, more carbon dioxide is emitted and eventually our Earth temperature increased due to global warming.

All in all, people have both positive and negative effects on, our green planet, the Earth. In my opinion, it is very hard and soon to judge about human effects on the Earth. I think, it needs more time and more evidence to make assessment. Hence, I think this topic is open for future people to make conclusion about human effects on the Earth.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL - It's good idea to hire employee for long time [2]

TOEFL - Business should hire employees for their entire lives. Agree or Disagree?
Many sociologists and philosophers believe that each person has two families. One is his biological family and another is his working companies colleagues and clients family. Thus, it is a crucial factor for some people to keep these two families for their entire lives. People are divided into two camps according to what is responsibility of companies for keep their employees for long time. Some people believe that hire employees for long time does not allow companies to grow very fast and they loose their efficiency during the time. Other think, these employees are big resources for that company because they have a lot of related experience about their daily activities.

The first reason why keep employee for long time is not a good idea is that they become less energetic and creator during the time. Doing the same job for a long time make their mind less creative. For example, my father has been working as a clerk for a big company for thirty years. Although he is very expert in his daily activities, he cannot adopt his self with new changes to improve his tasks qualities.

On the other hand, many people believe that hire employee for their entire life is a good idea. firstly, they think that people who works in a company for many years are very loyal to that company and he thinks that plays an important role in that company, so he tries to do his best. He thinks, if the company become more successful, he ganis more from that success.

Secondly, people who works for a long time in a company are vey expert on their fields. Hence, they can do more tasks in comparison with new employees in the same amount of time. Furthermore, it is very expensive for a company to train and teach a new employee.

All in all, due to experience and loyalty, I think, it is a good idea to hire employee for long time, may be as long as their entire lives.