Writing Feedback / "Mazes, Jigsaw puzzles.." - is this type of essay usable? [2]

I'm currently sifting through ideas for a potential college essay.. and I'm a bit stuck. This one is not nearly complete, but I would like some feedback on it regardless. Should I make my essay more of a story of sorts, or is this type of essay usable? Thanks in advance.

Jigsaw puzzles are terribly mundane. The box mandates that I create the image emblazoned on he cover; I refuse to do so. The finished product of a jigsaw puzzle is not a surprise, and is entirely devoid of excitement. The box stifles my creativity, and although I attempt to create something different than the image on the box, the pieces tend to prefer their predetermined positions. Plus, it inevitably looks horrific.

Mazes are slightly more interesting, though not to the degree I would like. I prefer a maze comprised of moving walls, shifting passages... one that will put up a fight and refuse to end until a figure of higher authority demands it to rest. I have only come across one such puzzle. My only complaint is that I occasionally need to apply sunscreen before diving into it.

There are innumerable ways to reach the end of this labyrinth, with each plausible pathway rife with dead ends. There is no one path to the goal, no "right" way to solve the puzzle. A balance must be stricken and maintained between brute force and beauty for a solution to be achieved. Unfortunately, my own sense of force and beauty cannot be imposed upon the maze, as the maze does not tend to see eye-to-eye with any individual. A group must coerce it, but this task is made no easier by the fact that there is always another crowd trying to force the flow in the opposite direction.

This turns the puzzle into a match, a competition, a war of negotiation with the highly uncooperative shifting walls. The negotiation tactics employed by my father as a marketing executive are of no use here, though. Unlike some walls I have come across over the years, these do not have ears. Or if they do, they are not very good listeners.

(I know I need to add more and edit it several times)

Undergraduate / "to live the best life they can" - Extracurricular Activities or Work Experiences [3]

Any tips or corrections/feedback? Thanks!

I take much of what I have for granted. My ability to walk, to think, and to communicate with others all seem as innate as breathing. My experience at Camp Sunshine opened my eyes to another perspective on life. Many of the young children I worked with will never be fully independent; they will always have to rely on the care of another for survival in this world. They are prisoners within their own bodies, not defined by their disabilities but still shackled by them. Yet, there are always smiles at Sunshine. These children and young adults do not dwell in self-pity. They seek to surmount their physical and cognitive limitations to live the best life they can. I wish to be like them. I wish to be capable of staring down an unrelenting challenge from day-to-day, to appreciate what I do have, and to smile regardless of my circumstances.