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Posts by basawang
Joined: Sep 7, 2011
Last Post: May 18, 2012
Threads: 10
Posts: 76  

From: Taiwan

Displayed posts: 86 / page 3 of 3
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basawang   
Sep 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / Happiness-is it difficult to define? ielts task2 [5]

Dear beepro21,

I can understand your ideas. The main idea in the third paragraph is miscellaneous people have different demands. The comparison between rich and poor people can perfectly match your point if you can illustrate that money is not the only requirement for everyone to be happy. For example, rich people feels happy because they have a lot of money and wealth is probably what they care the most. Nevertheless, poor people can also feel joyful only if wealth is not the thing they want most! Suppose a man is poor but happy, he must possess something which rich man do not have, such as friendship or spiritual satisfaction. It seems exactly to be the main topic in this paragraph. The comparison between a businessman and a fisherman does not reveal this kind of contrast.

Of course, it is just my personal opinion. I may be totally wrong. You can develop your own reasoning and structure.

One of the key abilities in TOEFL writing task is to use many synonyms.
So I look up in the dictionary and list several words, which have the same meanings to happiness.
We can use these when writing related topics next time.

happiness:

beatitude
bliss
content
contentment
delectation
enjoyment
felicity
gladness
gratification
joy
joyfulness
satisfaction
basawang   
Sep 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL-Face-to-face communication is of great importance [4]

Please give me some comments. Thanks a lot!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Face-to-face communication is better than other types of communication, such as letters, e-mail, or telephone calls. Use specific reasons and details to support your answers.

Valid communications are not composed of language only. Other components, such as facial expressions and body gestures also play an important role, which can only be achieved by of face-to-face communication. Letters, e-mail, or telephone calls, although enable people to contact others in a long distance, cannot completely replace the function and meaning of face-to-face communication. In other words, I reckon that face-to-face communication is better than the other types of communication.

Face-to-face communication can provide straightforward expression of information and ideas, thus making meanings more clear and powerful. Human beings are sensitive to the signals from faces and bodies of others. Generally speaking, these signs cannot be perceived through letters, e-mails or telephones, which only consist of words or sounds. Talking to someone directly can obtain many additional messages, such as "Is the listener nervous?" or "Does he or she feel bored?" Speakers can convince others more successful because delivering the thoughts in front of others can further emphasis their point with their body language, and it is also a more formal and effective way to interact with others. This is the reason why world rulers, company managers or other leaders in various fields always have to organize meetings and conferences to meet others and discuss important issues.

Moreover, face-to-face communication furnishes people with a portal to express their sincere emotions. It is difficult to imagine a man proposes to his girlfriend by only making a phone call. Obviously, face-to-face communication can address more passions and feelings to others in contrast to other kinds of method. From this standpoint, letters, e-mail and phones are merely substitutes of face-to-face communication because people always want to contact those they love straightforwardly.

In a nutshell, face-to-face communication exhibits certain characteristics, which cannot be substituted for other types of communication. Although technological advances create other forms of communication, face-to-face communication is still of great importance.
basawang   
Sep 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / Happiness-is it difficult to define? ielts task2 [5]

In the third paragraph, the comparison between businessman and fisherman does not create a huge contrast. How about rich versus poor,or beautiful versus ugly? I think the two examples should be the opposite meanings of each other.

The vocabulary "exploit" means , in general, treating someone unfairly by asking them to do things for you, but giving them very little in return. I know you were trying to describe the idea related to "use" or "develop". Nevertheless, could you find other options to avoid confusions?

The word usages and grammar exhibit some problems. Since I am not a native speaker, I cannot correct all of them. Perhaps you can ask others to help you.

basawang   
Sep 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / Toefl essay-I prefer the movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. [5]

Dear loveoaple,

First, you should state your central ideas (I prefer comedies, which are designed primarily to amuse and entertain) in the first paragraph. It is important to give your readers a general idea in the introduction.

Second, you should summarize your point in the last paragraph, not give a specific example in the end. I believe it is more suitable to mention Mr. Bean series in the second paragraph. Perhaps you can add a new paragraph to elaborate this further.
basawang   
Sep 7, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL- What subject is the most important for students? [3]

Dear abc1400,

Thanks for your comment.
I agree with you that the topic sentence is not clear enough.
Maybe I should replace the sentence in paragraph 1 with those in paragraph 4.

I have a question.
For this topic, do I have to assert that students have to choose one side,
or I can state that students can choose either side?
basawang   
Sep 7, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL- What subject is the most important for students? [3]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Mankind possesses multifarious knowledge, which can be roughly classified into two categories. The first category is related to human society or aesthetics, such as history and literature. The second one is in regard to the nature roles of the world, such as science and mathematics. Some argue that it is more crucial for students to study the first category rather than the second one. In my point of view, no solid evidence supports this assertion that people can derive more benefits from studies of humanity than physical universe. As a matter of fact, students should have essential understanding of both of these two different subjects before high schools, and then they decide what is the best subject for them in high schools or colleges.

Obviously different kinds of people exhibit miscellaneous interests and talents, so there is no universal subject choice for everyone. Similarly, different kinds of subjects display sundry characters and functions, so there is no single subject that is omnipotent. It is unreasonable to evaluate which subject is the most suitable one for every student. For example, literature involves in the abilities to analyze and appreciate an article, or even create a poem or a novel. J. K. Rolling, the author of the famous serious novels "Harry Potter", has this skill and she used it well to create a magic world. However, she cannot design rockets or discover black holes, which are two magic accomplishments in our world. This kind of task is conducted by engineers and astronomers, who are specialize in science and mathematics. This example, which does not mean literature is useless, or science is better, clearly shows that experts, like J. K. Rolling, can attain wonderful achievements in their own field; however, they cannot accomplish any goals in fields that they are unfamiliar with.

So how do students decide what subject they should learn in order to succeed in the future? I reckon that they should find their own gifts and passions, and then select the subject, which they are most fond of. If students can study their favorite subject, they will acquire an innate driving force to push them toward their aims continuously. On the other hand, if teachers or parents force students to study those subjects that they are not interested in, it is like to plant seedlings of a palm, a tropical tree, in high altitude regions. In this case the seedlings' growth is going to be greatly hindered. In Taiwan and many other countries, elementary schools teach general knowledge to students. Students are instilled with specific knowledge in a more mature age. This strategy enables students to have the opportunity to search for their interests, and then further pursue them.

To be brief, I do not agree that it is more important for students to learn history and literature than science and mathematics, but I do not deem that the latter are better than the former, neither. What students should study depends on their personal characters and what they want.

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