MisterWandering
Mar 14, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Subway system in six major countries [5]
The table compares six underground railway systems in terms of opening date, total length of route and passenger numbers per year.
Kyoto's subway has the shortest route and lowest number of passengers
I think this part adds no value to your sentence.
This sentence has grammatical mistakes.
The latest system of the six is in Los Angeles, which is inaugurated in 2001 and responsible for carrying 50 million passengers annually over the route of 28 kilometers.
Actually, there are four systems established in the twentieth century.
You should pay attention to your grammar!
The table reveals evidence of the underground railway systems in six major countries in field of opening date, length of route, and the commuters are carried.
The table compares six underground railway systems in terms of opening date, total length of route and passenger numbers per year.
Kyoto subways reckoned for the least route and the least passenger statistic per year
Kyoto's subway has the shortest route and lowest number of passengers
by comparison with Los Angeles subway system
I think this part adds no value to your sentence.
coming the sixth underground railway systems, Los Angeles, being inaugurated in 2001 carried 50 passengers in the route of 28 kilometers.
This sentence has grammatical mistakes.
The latest system of the six is in Los Angeles, which is inaugurated in 2001 and responsible for carrying 50 million passengers annually over the route of 28 kilometers.
A more detailed look at the table shows, the subterranean railways appears in the twentieth century in Tokyo.
Actually, there are four systems established in the twentieth century.
You should pay attention to your grammar!