Writing Feedback / IELTS: Older people should live with their families or at a nursing home [7]

Topic: Currently more and more people respect elders and become convinced that older people should live with their families, which is in contrast to the view that older people should live at a nursing home. What is your opinion?

Some people claim that elderly care should be provided by nursing homes these days. In my opinion, senior citizens are advised to live with their descendants by dint of their needs of emotional support as well as the responsibility of younger family members.

To begin with, one reason for the elders to stay with their families is that they are likely to suffer loneliness if they reside at nursing homes. While nursing homes are capable of supplying a variety of professional service, they fail to provide a sense of community for their residents. In fact, senior people have to integrate into an alienated environment unlike their formerly surrounding. Besides, various people struggle to establish friendships with their roommates due to characteristic differences. Coupled with living away from their family members and friends, it seems that their loneliness is potentially fostered.

Additionally, it should be noted that younger members of the family are suggested to take responsibility for their elders. Elderly people used to experience a hard time of raising their children and grandchildren. Furthermore, they were responsible for teaching initial lessons for their descendants such as how to speak and how to behave. By taking care of the elders, in turn, can the young generations express their respect and gratitude towards their seniors. In most Asian countries, looking after the elderly people is regarded as an obligatory duty of individuals. That is to say, from a moral perspective, it is essential that older adults should stay with their families.

To sum up, I would have to reiterate the necessity of the elderly people living with their family members. Not only do they feel a sense of interaction but also their descendants will have an opportunity to show their filial piety.

Could you give me feedback on this essay? Thanks in advance.

Writing Feedback / Ielts Task 1: Main reasons for migration to and from the UK [3]

The given pie charts present data concerning the main incentives why people migrated to and from the UK in 2007. Overall, the majority of emigrants and immigrants cited employment as their chief culprit for migration.

Nearly a thirth of the total people migrated to the UK with a view to having a definite job, which was approximately equal to the corresponding figure for UK emigrants. Meanwhile, another career-related reason, looking for work, accounted for 12% of immigration, around half its proportion of emigration.

Additionally, formal study was the second major factor contributing to UK immigration with over a quarter of people. On the contrary, this reason merely took up an average of 4% of citizens leaving the UK. Accompanying or joining a family was responsible for similar statistics for both immigration and emigration, at 15% and 13% respectively. Simultaneously, only 6% of people gave no specific reasons why they immigrated, compared to a significantly higher proportion of those emigrated at roughly a fifth. Furthermore, the remaining people of each group induced other objectives regarding their moving.

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Writing Feedback / Ielts: Opinion on animal experimentation; Should continue! [4]

Topic: Some people strongly oppose animal experimentation, believing that it causes pain to animals, while some other people consider it necessary. What is your opinion?

People hold different views towards the necessity and humane feature of current animal testing. In my opinion, both human and animals are capable of deriving enormous benefits from this sort of experimentation and thereby, it is suggested to be enhanced.

To begin with, the advantages of vivisection to human are most prominent in the field of medicine and education. For instance, various types of animals such as pigs and mice have been significantly used in testing new kinds of drugs by dint of possessing similar biological features to those of human. Some drug prototypes are theoretically effective but whether there are any side effects in reality is rather unknown. In these cases, the use of animals in checking pharmaceuticals is essential prior to applying in persons. Additionally, many animal-based researches have been conducted inside educational institutions have provided new insights into the evolution of animals. Briefly, animal testing helps to advance our medical and scientific knowledge.

Equally importantly is that, animal testing are beneficial to wildlife species for many reasons. Firstly, by carrying out genetic experiments do scientists potentially offer some solutions for the endangered species. It is true that a wide variety of animals are on the verge of extinction owing to the loss of natural habitats or increasing pollutants. With the results of animal research, this issue will probably be tackled. Furthermore, examining ethology will provide an outlet for controlling some species in particular patterns. For example, nowadays it is applicable to increase the likelihood of animal survival in natural environment. Accordingly, animal experimentation has a positive impact on animals themselves.

To sum up, animal testing plays a significant role in the well-being of both human beings and animals. Therefore, animal vivisection should continue rather than being suppressed in the future.

Please help me correct my essay! Thanks in advance!

Writing Feedback / Underground railway systems in the field of opening date, total length of route and annual ridership [10]

Topic: The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table illustrates the underground railway systems in six major cities in the field of opening date, total length of route and annual ridership.

Overall, each of the mentioned features of six railroad systems varied considerably. The oldest system in London had the longest route while Kyoto's system accounted for the shortest length and the lowest passenger statistics per year.

In 1863, London's underground system was incorporated, having a total of 394 km in length. Also, it was responsible for carrying an average of 775 million passengers per annum, around 15 times higher than the corresponding figure for the latest system in Los Angeles that began operation in 2001 and covered 28 km of route.

Likewise, the 20th century saw the establishment of the four remaining subterranean railway, of which the system located in Tokyo, being inaugurated in 1927, served the largest number of passengers at 1927 million, nearly doubling the second highest number recorded in Paris. This was followed by Washington DC's subway with 126 km in lines and 144 million travellers. Simultaneously, data for system length and ridership of Kyoto's system was smallest with 11 km and 45 million respectively.

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Writing Feedback / Ielts: Libraries should not waste their money on hi-tech media. Agree or disagree? [6]

Topic: Many people think that public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their money on expensive hi-tech media, such as software, DVDs or videos. Do you agree or disagree?

access to the various kinds of media

It is true that nowadays people are able to have access to various kinds of media in public libraries apart from conventional printed materials. Personally, I believe that this modernization in learning devices is an inevitable trend and should be enhanced.

To begin with, I would argue that digital tools such as computer software contributes greatly to the valuable sources of information and skills that library users potentially acquire. Indeed, there is no denying that books have played a major role in providing knowledge for library visitors. However, the update features of books' contents are not always guaranteed on the grounds that it often takes several months for a book to be published and released to the public. Meanwhile, thanks to the assistance of such modern computers or audio-visual equipment, it is applicable for users to obtain recent essential details in myriad aspects of life. Briefly, the utilization of hi-tech media supplements the traditional access to library information.

Equally important is that, librarians and other related staff possible take substantial advantage of the installation of state-of-the-art devices. In the past, the management of huge collection of printed materials in a library used to be difficult and time-consuming due to the fact that the majority of work was manually carried out. Nonetheless, with the presence of electronic system, such regular work seems to be no more a hindrance. For instance, librarians are able to seek out the exact location of a book in the library. Additionally, visitors are also capable of figure out whether one book is still available or has already been borrowed. In short, by the aid of these helpful media is working efficiency obviously improved.

All things considered, it is vital that libraries provide both physical and digital resources. By doing so, not only learners but also library employees can derive benefits from this.

Could you give me feedback on this essay? Thanks in advance!

Writing Feedback / Ielts Task 1: Imprisonment levels in 5 countries [6]

The given table presents data concerning incarceration levels in five major nations around the world over a 50-year period.

Overall, imprisonment numbers varied considerably from one country to another. Likewise, the USA outperformed the figures for the remaining four countries.

In 1930, 100 thousand American citizens were sentenced to prison and subsequently rose by 30% the following ten years. Afterwards, statistics for the USA saw a steady decline prior to reaching a peak of 140 thousand in 1980. Australia and New Zealand also underwent a period of fluctuations with a gradual drop in the first half whereas there was an obviously upward trend in the second half.

Simultaneously, Great Britain had the lowest figure for confined people, occupying merely 20 thousand at the beginning of the period. Nonetheless, it had increased substantially by the end of the course, nearly tripling the 1930 mark. On the contrary, Canada experienced the most positive pattern with data falling by 20% from 1930 to 1980.

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Writing Feedback / Ielts: Changes in women's position in society cause juvenile deliquency [4]

Topic: The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that women's social status has undergone remarkable changes over the last two decades, the consequent of which is the rise in misbehavior of their children. Personally, I concede that working women are partially responsible for the wrongdoings of the youth.

To commence with, the ground of the breakthrough for women in modern society lies within the significance of education and social perceptions. In the past, gender inequality occurred in the majority of countries combined with the shortage of academic access would restrict female employment opportunities. On the contrary, thanks to the alteration in general notions of the society with the passing of time, women are capable of obtaining well-rounded education. As such, seldom are essential domains of the socio-economy dominated by men but more senior positions in politics or business are occupied by female counterparts. Accordingly, women have assured their increasing independence in the present community.

Simultaneously, it is undeniable that the more hours investing in workplace, the less time mothers are able to contact normally with their descendants. Indeed, owing to being engrossed in myriad volume of workload, women struggle to secure adequate time to either share emotional stories or inculcate moral guidance to their sons and daughters. In turn, the young turn to the Internet or their peers to compensate for the lack of maternal attention. Nonetheless, these external factors possibly have a negative impact on their thoughts and manners, begetting engagement in crimes such as thefts. Briefly, women should have certain control over the lives of their children.

To sum up, women undoubtedly have an apparently distinct role in the society but this potentially bring about the transgression of children. As such, working mothers are advised to be more involved with their kids' growth.

Writing Feedback / Ielts: The cement and concrete making process [11]

The given diagrams provide an overview of the production of cement from available devices as well as how cement is used to manufacture concrete for construction purpose.

Overall, the cement production involves various stages from the beginning to ultimate product. Likewise, there are a number of prerequisites needed in the making of concrete.

With regard to the first diagram, limestone and clay are initially crushed by a crusher to form powder. Subsequently powder is then mixed prior to being carried into a rotating heater. In this step, a fire is required with the aim of guaranteeing heating. After that, the materials are then grounded to be converted into cement prior to packaging in bags.

Once produced, cement is one of the five inputs of producing concrete, accounting for 15% of the total mixture. Gravel, simultaneously, takes up the highest proportion with 50%. Besides, water and sand constitute the remaining 10% and 25%, respectively. Then a concrete mixer running clockwise is responsible for manufacturing final concrete from five aforementioned elements.

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Writing Feedback / Ielts: % of Australian men and women with 5-levels of post-school qualifications [2]

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart compares the percentage of Australian men and women holding five levels of post-school qualifications in 1999. Overall, males were generally inclined to outnumber female counterparts in the majority of the sectors, with the exception of bachelor's degree and undergraduate diploma.

One of the most striking features of the given chart is the apparent gender inequality in skilled vocational diploma with around 90% of male holders, nine times higher than data for females. Likewise, postgraduate diploma and master's degree statistics followed a consistent pattern. The former comprised 30% of female holders, less than a half of men who also achieved the same academic level. Simultaneously, more men secured a master's degree than women with a gap of 20%.

On the contrary, 70% of undergraduate diplomas were occupied by women, doubling corresponding figure for male learners. Additionally, the proportion of female students adopting a bachelor's degree was also higher than that of the opposite gender, with approximately 55% and 45% respectively.

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