kabir1
Jan 31, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'They follow what their heart say' - Childhood Dreams essay [3]
My first attempt to an essay.
please give your comments on grammar part.
all the feedbacks are welcome.
Children are very enthusiastic and energetic. they learn from seeing seeing stuff. As they see new thing, they start thinking about it and if it is of their interest or if it gives them some interest. they just want to get it or want to become like that.
In younger age, every child has some dream. some want to become pilot, some want to become doctor and some want to become musician.
in childhood, most of the children want to become a pilot. as the see an aeroplane they want to fly it. an aeroplane or any flying animal makes them happy and they want to fly with them. they start visualizing themselves having wings. they think that if they would have wings so they could also fly.
some children want to become a doctor to help people. they like equipments which are along with doctors, they want to have those equipments and play with them.
some children want to become a musician. they want to be famous like musicians. they are crazy about music equipments like guitar, drums etc. when they go to any exibition they want to buy more number of equipments and they convince their parents to buy some equipments.
children love to follow what their heart say. they have many dreams. they think that as they grow they want to become a part of it.
My first attempt to an essay.
please give your comments on grammar part.
all the feedbacks are welcome.
Children are very enthusiastic and energetic. they learn from seeing seeing stuff. As they see new thing, they start thinking about it and if it is of their interest or if it gives them some interest. they just want to get it or want to become like that.
In younger age, every child has some dream. some want to become pilot, some want to become doctor and some want to become musician.
in childhood, most of the children want to become a pilot. as the see an aeroplane they want to fly it. an aeroplane or any flying animal makes them happy and they want to fly with them. they start visualizing themselves having wings. they think that if they would have wings so they could also fly.
some children want to become a doctor to help people. they like equipments which are along with doctors, they want to have those equipments and play with them.
some children want to become a musician. they want to be famous like musicians. they are crazy about music equipments like guitar, drums etc. when they go to any exibition they want to buy more number of equipments and they convince their parents to buy some equipments.
children love to follow what their heart say. they have many dreams. they think that as they grow they want to become a part of it.
