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Posts by bldblade
Joined: Feb 1, 2012
Last Post: Apr 13, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 9  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 11
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bldblade   
Feb 1, 2012
Essays / Essay - positive things about a jet-ski accident. Introduction and thesis? [6]

So it's an essay for English and I'm having problems with it. I don't know how to formulate the introduction and the thesis. Would I have to describe my experience or just list the positive things that came out of it.

Also, what would be some of the positive effects of something like this ? (I'm thinking about motivation to learn how to swim, learning about the importance of safety).
bldblade   
Feb 1, 2012
Essays / Essay - positive things about a jet-ski accident. Introduction and thesis? [6]

I'm having trouble setting up the introduction. It should end with a thesis.
I can't decide how to actually introduce my story.
Here's what I have so far:

Most of us at one time or another have life-changing experiences. Although some of them could have disastrous effects, others can transform our life in a positive way.

(It should be a bigger introduction, but ending with that thesis)

And then I guess this should be my body paragraph.

Looking back upon my life, I would choose my jet-ski accident as a life defining moment...
bldblade   
Feb 3, 2012
Student Talk / How to enhance my English? [52]

I'm foreign, as well, and I'm taking English Comp I this year. Textbooks have helped me a lot.
bldblade   
Feb 3, 2012
Writing Feedback / My essay about positive things about an accident - Introduction. [6]

Most of us at one time or another have life-changing experiences. They sometimes inspire, influence or completely transform our lives. The effects can be good, bad, or in some cases, a combination of both. I was nineteen years old when I moved to Florida. The prospect of living just a few minutes away from the beach was exciting, and I took advantage of it by trying water-related activities, even thought I did not know how to swim. It was a sunny day in July when I had a terrifying experience. I rode a jet ski for the first time, without being aware of the consequences of not operating it with caution. Being inexperienced and overeager, I paid the price for it. While racing along the ocean, I lost control of the machine, falling off it and mildly injuring myself.

The feeling of crashing into the water was somewhat similar to skipping stones as a child; only this time it was my body, not a rock, that was bouncing off the surface. I was in shock , panicking at the thought of me not being able to swim. The shore was out of my sight, and the waves seemed to grow in intensity, a point where overcoming my fear of water became a necessity. The only thing keeping me alive was my life vest, and even with it on me, I still had to struggle to get back on the jet ski. Although this experience was traumatizing and frightening, I consider it a life-defining moment, and I have found that positive things can emerge from serious accidents.

This is just my introduction paragraph and it's leading to the thesis, but I'm wondering if I should move the story of events in the body paragraph since my introduction seems to long now. What do you think ?

Also, could I please be corrected if I have mistakes or other errors ?
bldblade   
Apr 13, 2012
Grammar, Usage / MLA Citation in text - is it correct? [5]

I need help with a MLA citation (URL sources)

I know there are sites that help you with the citation, but there are not accurate all the time.

The two sources that I need to cite are from the following websites:

First : wtop.com/?nid=681&sid=2808367

Second : smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/busted-the-politics-of-cleavage-and-a-glance-20120211-1sy7e.html

I would really appreciate some help.
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