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Posts by nmcong95
Joined: May 14, 2012
Last Post: May 17, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 4
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nmcong95   
May 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay. International music vs traditional ('music is vital to us') [6]

hi guys, im having problem with this exact topic. The problem is, how to write the opening, i mean, its easy to write an opening without mentioning "why do we need music?", how can i get both this question and "traditional vs international music" into one opening paragraph?? thanks in advance!
nmcong95   
May 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS:narrow the gap; should wealthy nations share their wealth with poorer ones [3]

i have only been learning english for 5 months and my writing skills is very bad so you might find some silly errors in my essay, sorry about that :) and if it's possible, please give me a brand score, i just want to know where i'm at right now, thanks again!

Question: should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as foods and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to loof after their own citizens? Write at least 250 words.

It is now a responsibility for every countries to narrow down the gap between the rich and poorer nations, which has been widen than ever before. Therefore, in my opinion, rich countries should help poorer ones.

The world has over 200 nations and most of them are still developing. These countries are struggling with not only economy but also in many cases, an unstable society. Therefore, the help from wealthier countries would be crucial. By providing goods, they can help poorer countries with their economy, but what i think is the most important is that rich countries can give people from poorer countries opportunities to experience an absolutely different education environment. By doing that, poorer nations will have more skilled worker, they are the part of the population that really make a country move forward.

However, some people may say that these countries should be able to look after themselves other than just waiting for help from the rich, I partly agree with this statement as well. Without any doubt, the only way to ensure a stable development is to do it on thier own, despite that fact, they still need help, at least for the beginning of the process. As mentioned above, skilled workers are vital to a country, but the only way to acquire that is to study from the ones who have skills and experiences, in this case, developed countries. Moreover, with a lot of money they have, developed countries should share it among other countries as a way to balance the economy.

In conclusion, I think wealthy countries should definitely share their wealth among poorer nations as a way to narrow down the gap between the rich and the poor and also to balance the world's economy.
nmcong95   
May 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / ielts task 2: married women nowadays are not at home to take care for their children [3]

Question: The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last 20 years. many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile deliquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the last two decades, women's status in society has come to a new level, where they and men are all equal. As a result, many mothers nowadays have to care more about their career and do not have enough time to educate their children. From my point of view, I believe the balance between both of these would be the best solution.

In today's society, many organizations have been continously running campaigns on equality between genders. Those campaigns results in an increasing number of women getting involved in business, politics,... what people used to think to be men's only. Furthermore, many of them have proved that they can be just as good as men colleague in their field. It is now irrefutable that women nowadays have the right to work and earn a living just like men do, however, as a mother, they still have the responsibility to look after their own kids. Many sociologists have shown that the mother's role is vital in defining a child's characteristics. Without a mother, a child would be a lot more easier to be involved in disciplines and even crimes than without a father. Therefore, no matter how busy they are, I opine that the women's role in a family should be every women's priority. The only way to be a both successful business woman and a great mother is to balance the time between their work and their family.

In conclusion, I think it is crucial for every woman to be balanced between both their career and their responsibilty as a mother.