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Posts by shelley G
Joined: Jun 2, 2012
Last Post: Jun 3, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: China

Displayed posts: 4
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shelley G   
Jun 2, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Internet has exceeded the newspapers demand' - IELTS writing [5]

hey,Archu.
I think that your essay is too short,you can add more points,for instance,
you can talk about that computers can demonstrate more vivid and coclorful images which newspapers could not.
And in this sentence"Personally, I inclined to agree with the views that web has surpasses the newspapers."
"has surpasses" should be "will surpass",I mean there are a large number of people reading newspapers afterall.
shelley G   
Jun 2, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay about CDs or DVDs in the libraries [6]

The purpose of libraries is to provide books.They should not use limited resources and space to provide CDs or DVDs.To what extent do you agree?

In the present age, libraries are playing significant roles in our lifes,and most of them provide CDs or DVDs,which has aroused an intense debate among people.In this essay,

I am going to discuss the pros and cons of this issue.

Personally,I totally disagree with this perspective.To start with,CDs or DVDs will not occupy too much space,most of time they will be placed in a corner.Moreover,when people get tired,they can skim some CDs or DVDs,which I believe will make them relaxed.For some people,the supply of CDs or DVDs provides conveniences to them when they want to buy some stuffs by coincidence.Obviously,a large amount of knowledge can be stored in discs where people can get information.It is no doubt that the main purpose of libraries is to provide information,and CDs or DVDs is just another valid approach.We can see more vivid images,hence,we can absorb knowledge in an easier and funnier way.Therefore,with the development of technology,CDs and DVDs in the library are kinds of positive results.

However,I admit that most space in the libraries should place books,which are important to people's lifes.But that does not mean CDs or DVDs should not be provided.They can store much more information with less size,so many people would like to choose this way.

In conclution,products like these promote the variety of libraries.They bring people a modern and convenient approach.That will not conflict the exist of books,and they will be accepted by more people.According to the essay,advantages of providing CDs or DVDs in libraries outweigh the disadvantages obviously.

please help me polish the essay.THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
shelley G   
Jun 3, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay about CDs or DVDs in the libraries [6]

umm..I mean "They should not use limited resources and space to provide CDs or DVDs "

Can I use this sentence in my first paragraph? Like ''some people think that they should not use blah blah...,which I am totally disagree."
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