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Posts by joythblessy
Joined: Sep 24, 2012
Last Post: Nov 30, 2013
Threads: 86
Posts: 272  
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From: India

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joythblessy   
Feb 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay)Difficult hobbies are more enjoyable? [6]

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People are different and their perceptions of life are diverse. Some people think that difficult hobbies are more enjoyable than easy hobbies, but others oppose. In my opinion both easy and difficult hobbies are equally have fun and excitements.

Hobbies are activities chosen by people to fill their leisure time without expecting monitory benefits. Thus, the ultimate aim of hobbies is enjoyment and relaxation. People can select different hobbies according to their available free time, nature of daily work and interest. Some people find enjoyment in easy hobbies like reading. After a full day's hard work, it gives them physical relaxation. Besides reading books can help them to create their own world with different characters of the book and provide greater pleasure in imagination. Though it is an easy hobby, nobody can deny it by saying that it is not enjoyable as it is an easy hobby.

Apparently, difficult hobbies like bike stunting and baggy jumping give enjoyment to the people who follow it. These hobbies offer them an opportunity to show their bravery, and improve their mental power to face and confront dangers and difficulties. Furthermore, this gives a chance to burst out the tensions of spectators too. As it is a hard task, it needs constant hard work to achieve the goal. Nevertheless, dedication, constant long hard work and practice let them to be prefect in their hobbies. Additionally, these people may not always get the same level of enjoyment. The greater the performance, the higher the satisfaction will be.

To conclude, it not the name or difficulty of a hobby make it enjoyable, but the attitude and interest of the people towards it. After analyzing both sides, I feel that both easy and difficult hobbies are equally entertaining according to the perception of the people those who select it.
joythblessy   
Feb 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS essay) Dangerous sports banned or not; Children put themselves in trouble [5]

Should dangerous sports such as boxing or motor racing be banned?

Millions of people play sports every day and inevitably injured or even dead. Most players and spectators accept this risk. However, some people like to see dangerous sports such as boxing banned. In this essay, I will discuss why I support dangerous sports.

The biggest reason for objecting to extreme sports is that they can be very dangerous and even sometimes life threatening. More than that, the sports people along with the spectators are in danger. For instance, a formula one car crashes, the driver undoubtedly injured and it is possible that the people in the crowd will be too. Furthermore, sports are for relaxation and enjoyment and for injuries and sufferings. Children imitate them and put themselves in trouble.

On the other hand, sports and games seem to be natural to humans. There are no sports without danger. People can learn their limits and strengths through playing with others, they also learn acceptable social behaviors, and respect the right of others. Sports encourage spirit of healthy competition. Sports are there for, not just a physical phenomenon, but also, a social one. Besides, there is an issue of freedom. Without a wide a range of sports, many people would feel trapped or limited.

People should be free to participate in activities with others as long as it does not affect the safety of non-participants. Moreover, some sports act as a safety value for the society by reducing stress. Everybody accept the need of regulations. Medical bodies are introduced safety rules for all hazardous sports. Players are welcome these protective measures. If people are following these regulation, we can avoid dangers to an extent and enjoy these sports.

In conclusion, our society would be healthier, if more people took part in sports of all kinds. We should continue to try to prevent accidents and injuries. However, we should also ensure that sports are exciting and above all, it gives fun.
joythblessy   
Feb 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Some say that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time. [2]

Hai dev..

Over all good attempt....).
You have so many good points also...).

Be careful about the size of the paras...
Try to avoid huge differences in the word strengh..
i saw two body paras, if it is 3 it is o.k., only make sure about the gap between the paras...).

:i totally disagee with the ....and believe that...)

Newspaper reading is informative and boost our confidence.

Boost our confidence...===>not supported in good way..

watching television and reading newspaper are informative
and educational.

Tessy
joythblessy   
Jan 31, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS graph) three bar charts (developing ans ind. countries) [5]

hai Dumi..

Thanks for your correction...

I tried somany times to upload the diagram..(.
Last time also it was happend with me. So that time i droped writing graph. I will try some other ways to attach the diagram.

Thanks a lot..
Tessy..
joythblessy   
Jan 31, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS graph) three bar charts (developing ans ind. countries) [5]

The given three bar charts described about the average years of schooling, number of scientists and technicians, research and developmental spending in the years 1980 and1990 in developed and industrialized countries.

The first bar chart shows the average years of schooling in developing countries was around 3yrs in 1980 and there is no significant change in this after a decade. On the other hand the industrialized countries the average schooling years was just around eight years and it increased to ten hours after a period ten years.

From the chart the scientists and the technicians per thousand people was ten thousand and nineteen thousand in 1980 and 1990 respectively in developing countries. At the same periods of time in industrialized countries it was around forty thousand and seventy thousand.

In the third diagram, in 1960 and 1990 industrialized nations spend 150 billion dollars and 350 billion us dollar respectively for research and development. In developed nations the expenditure on scientific research and development reduced to half in 1990 and reached to 25 billion us dollar in 1990 where as it was 50 billion us dollar in 1980.

In short, the first two chart shows the upward trend in the respected fields. The industrialized nations has considerable upward tendency in these two periods 1980 and 1990. On the contrary, in the third chart, though the industrialized nations showed an upward inclination, developed nations a downward trend.
joythblessy   
Jan 31, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Drop sports classes from school? [5]

Hai Jenny, Pahan, Dev and Arun...

Hai Jenny and Pahan...

Thanks for the corrections which strengthen my essay.

Thanks Dev

Hai Arun...

:As you wrote here, the meaning of impart i used in my sentance is 'transmit'
The first sentance of a paragraph is thesis sentance. The explanation of this sentance will be the contance of the paragraph. The followimg sentance in that para clear you doubts i hope...):

:Thanks for the correction.i was intented to use 'both' in that sentance.
But it didnt come in a good way..

Thanks for all

Tessy
joythblessy   
Jan 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Drop sports classes from school? [5]

Most of the schools are planning to replace sports and exercise classes with more academic sessions. What i s your opinion on this change? How is this change will affect children's life in your view?

Childrens' curriculum are becoming fat day by day. So many people would like remove sports from schools in order to help children to concentrate more on studies. However, being aware of the adverse impacts in children's present and future lives by dropping sports from the school curriculum, I am completely disagreeing with this idea.

Sports and exercises are indispensable part in schools. Children today are not even getting enough time to enjoy outdoor games because of lack of enough time after school, home works and tuition. Sport classes fulfill this need and they can maintain a healthy life style. Moreover, children can refresh their minds and relieves the stress and tensions of monotonous academic studies. By participating in sports, they learn about the rules in the sports and it help them to watch the live and telecast sports events.

Additionally, sports and games can help students to impart the valuable lessons, essential for the day-to-day and future lives. By participating in these, they can boost their communication skills, self-confidence, sportsman spirit, positive attitude, co-operation, ability to work as a team, co-ordination of mind and body and so on. These are very important in their future lives. These all qualities will enrich their personality and physical and mental health.

Dropping sports, classes may give students little bit more time to study the essential subjects. The sedentary life and lack of exercises lead to obesity and associated issues. Lack of interest in their studies may jeopardize the wish of elders, who want to see the students to concur heights in the future.

To conclude, although some people believe that removing sport classes may help the students to allocate more time for studies, the adverse impacts are drastic. Hence, it is better to maintain sports in schools to grow up students with good physical and mental health.
joythblessy   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / (IELTS ESSAY) pros and cons of technology in human life. [3]

Hai Somy...

Good attempt...):

:In addition to....causes...:===> causes pollution to our environment and therby direct....

:In conclusion 1 st sentence, typing mistake clear it...

Tessy
joythblessy   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Economical developments degrade Social values? [4]

Most countries develop their economies to improve the living standards. Some people afraid that, it will cause degradation of important social values. Do you think the advantages overweigh the disadvantages.

The developmental programs of a society bring with increase in living standards along with decreased social values. In this essay, I will explain why I feel the disadvantages of these changes overweigh the advantages.

Social values are important for a community as it provides equality and fairness. Most of the countries encourage immigration of skilled labors from different countries. It help the country in its economical developments. Lack of unity and co-operation between people in a cosmopolitan society, cause conflicts and creates problems in the host country. When the rights of the minorities are constantly neglected, it may leads to voice strikes and disturb the peace of the society.

Apparently, people are more attracted towards the success of people and their high standard of life. Nowadays, both parents are started working outside to raise the finance of the escalating expense of living. The workaholic life style may give tremendous support to the economical developments. However, the number of broken families, old age homes, unattended children and elder people are shooting up, neighbor relations and helping mentality trim down, the gap between haves and have-nots are ever widening.

Additionally, so many countries invite multinational companies, their products and services, and allow them to invest in their own countries, to improve the living status of their citizens. These companies bring with their own culture of consumption of fast foods, fast way of life, consumption of more unnecessary items, and promotion of international products. If it is uncontrolled, it may result in the monopoly of these firms and the distraction of the local culture and market. Craze for costly international products especially among youngsters may guide them to antisocial activities to meet the finance of these costly items.

To conclude, it is clear from the above discussion that, running after uncontrolled developments in different sectors, may cause drastic changes in the social values. Hence, I believe that the disadvantages overweigh the advantages.
joythblessy   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS : museum is for education or for entertainment? BOTH [5]

Hai somy..

Overall good attempt..
Your opinion about why museums to be enjoyable is weak in terms of sentence,strength..

conclution is longer than the prvious para..
All the best..
Tessy
joythblessy   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / TECHNOLOGY HAS BEEN VIEWED AS A TWO EDGED SWORD, preparing for IELTS in Feb... [3]

Hai...

:The basic example is THE invention....

:now distance===> now LONG distances...

:this luxury has brings with certain problems related to pollution. Moreover, since we like to sit and travel only, we do not burn...
(Keep strong examples...):....]

:Many CONDITIONS like...

:bank accounts...: ...and so on.
Sepreate each example with coma, cut or, write and so on at last while writing examples...):

In coclusion. Para...
Thesr things:===>advanced technologies

Tessy
joythblessy   
Jan 29, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Child-care courses, best way to up date childcare? [6]

hai Dev, Sadaf and somy..

Hai dev..
I appreciate your keen concenteration in reading..
Thanks keep it up...):
Hai Sadaf..
Yours concern and corrections are really apprectiable...
I am really thankl to you for your time and concern..

I posted the essay, in the late night without proof readig. I am bad at typing...(:

I aproched this question keeping in my mind the fact that, todays parents are more concerned about the bringing up of chlidren as they are living alone due to various reasons...

Befor chidren are care more by the elder members and their siblings in the past say in my chidhood...):
So i mentioned these factors...

In the question it is mentioned that, these days parents are more concerned

i changed young parents ==> today's parents

Hai somy...
Thanks for your suggestion...
But it is not is but are ...):

Thanks to all..
Tessy

Excuse for spelling mistakes..

Y
joythblessy   
Jan 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / Childcare training course for parents. Agree or Disagree? [7]

hai Arun,...

Welcome back...

Firstly follow the right structuure of agree disagree format..
introduction first sentance pillars of this bricks: this stands for what...):

You have some good points..
Try to organize well, (i am not an expert it organizing too)...):
Tessy
joythblessy   
Jan 28, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Child-care courses, best way to up date childcare? [6]

These days Parents are more concerned with their children's' up-bringing than before. Taking care of the children seems necessary. Child-care training course for parents can be the best way to update them with this matter. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with it? Give your opinion and where necessary give examples to support it

Today's children are tomorrow's citizens. It is the responsibility of the parents to bring them up as productive members as they are considered as the first teachers of a child. Some people believe that childcare training courses best way to teach the parents, how to handle these young minds, but, others oppose. However, I completely agree with the given notion.

To begin with, usually parents are grown up people with their own perceptions of life. Most of them leading leaving separately from their parents and don't know how to handle the children. These courses give them an opportunity to learn the details of childcare. This may enriches their mind with proper knowledge and these are very much beneficial for both parents and children. For instance, the right way of massaging an infant is unfamiliar to most of the parents. Through attending, these courses which highlight this and its right practice are make both parents and children happier.

Secondly, due to the popularity of nuclear families these parents hardly get a chance in their early life, how to look after a child. By following the instructions of the course, parents can overcome this. For example, the types of food given to a child during different stages of the child's growth can be learned through these classes and parents can provide nutritious healthy food to their children in a proper way and time duration.

Finally, there is an influence of generation gap in the way of caring the child. Previously, people are used to depend on the natural ways of is child caring by giving the warmth of the mother and the shade of the siblings. Young children learn skills, manners and discipline from their brothers or sisters, with are disappeared now. So parent should each them all these. Moreover, professional companies are taken over the natural food and ways of childcare. Therefore, it is increasingly pivotal to update young parents. To illustrate, the importance of breast milk is neglecting young mothers and these courses are helpful for them to come back to the natural ways.

To conclude, in my opinion, the right knowledge at right time will be beneficial for both parents and children. Hence, I strongly believe that this courses are the best way to update the child care knowledge in young parents.
joythblessy   
Jan 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Advertisements promotes Quality or Quantity? [6]

Advertisement encourages consumers to buy in bulk, whereas it should promote high quality of the products sold. Do you agree or disagree?

Advertisements are pivotal in promoting the sales and services of goods. These sometimes motivate people to buy more than needed. However, I believe the companies should give more importance in the quality of their products than inspiring the people to buy more.

Undeniably, the ultimate aim of any company is to make maximum profits from minimum expense. In order to compensate the money spent on advertisements, they may trim down the quality of the products. It is more clearly visible in food items and cola beverages. Admittedly, the clever advertisements stimulate to consume more. It is more evident in festival occasions. During that period, the advertisements will be in plenty. Prize reduction offers are announced, if purchasing in full boxes. People are interested in saving in saving money and fall praying for these advertisements. They took the full box for a penny of servings. Nevertheless, in reality they are wasting their money, as the large quantities of products are not finishing until expiry date. Therefore, considering quantity only is not always good.

Undoubtedly, it is not only the prize, but also the quality matters while selecting a product. Although people may sometimes attracted towards the savings when buying in bulk, it is not a constant trend. People those who are realizing the quality of a product will continue to buy the good quality items. Through this way, they can indulge people to use an item. The sales of branded items are continuing the same level, hold the testimony for this statement. We should consider our real need, after sale services, credibility of a company before choosing a product.

To conclude, in my opinion, people may run after the cheap products and marginal benefits while taking in plenty. But, truly they are not beneficial always. Therefore, we should be careful in our selections. Companies should not forget that the aim of the firms and the advertisements are should be service to the society.
joythblessy   
Jan 27, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; Museums are meant for educating people or entertaining them? [3]

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of the museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Museums are places where old things related to history, culture, science and many other aspects of a country are preserving. People have different views in the function and role of museums. However, I believe museums could be both educational and entertaining.

Museums the old treasure houses of knowledge and wisdom are argued that, they are functioning mainly for educative purposes. The traditional coins, crafts, paintings and so on, are excellent sources of education especially for students and those who want to research on it. These things broaden our outlook and gives first hand information about the certain period. Foreign tourist visiting these spots, as a part of their tour to a country helps to collect more knowledge about the country's old ways of life. By seeing the old traditional items and reminders of primitive life will be a different experience for the students and more interesting than learning from the books.

On the other hand, museums should be entertaining also. People are interested to visit a museum not only to acquire wisdom but also to pass their leisure time. Since museums are entertaining, they can attract more people and increase their income. Imparting knowledge through museums will be far beneficial through entertaining, as it is more enjoyable and memorable, especially for children. The role of the museums in teaching visitors that they do not know previously is pivotal. Considerable amount of enthusiasm and entertainment can make by the various exhibits in the museum by attractive ways of explaining. The use of technologies to describe each in detail such as projectors, CDs and so on are favorable for visitors. For instance, a giant skeleton of skeleton of dinosaur with moving the mouth and light in the eyes and roaring sound is more interesting than a simple skeleton.

To conclude, it seems to me that, a good museum should be able to offer an interesting, enjoyable and educational experience, so that people can have fun to learn something at the same time.
joythblessy   
Jan 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Elder people should be looked after by family members or professionals? [7]

Hai...
Dumi, Dev and Han,

Hai Dumi..
Thanks for the site id..
It was filttered from here, but my little brother searched the site and told me there is only recording of the speaking and not any feed back...(.

Thanks for the information...):

Hai dev..
Thanks a lot..

Hai Han..
Thanks for your time..
Tessy
joythblessy   
Jan 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Doing jobs for a long spell ; Good or bad..? [3]

Some people work only a few months a year and take the rest of the time off to do whatever they like. To what extent the advantages of this arrangement over weigh the disadvantage.

The trends in the way of doing jobs are continuously undergoing changes nowadays. Some people prefer to work short period and taking rest in the remaining time. However, the advantages of this trend depend up on the type of the job and the perception of the people who choose it, as it has both benefits and drawbacks.

To begin with, working for a short period of time and taking off has a great favor of flexibility in some conditions. It gives minimum risk of exposure to the adverse conditions of the workplace while offering job security. For instance, if somebody is working in Antarctica, fighting with extreme cold, the choice of short period of work is a blessing for him. He can perform his job with perfection in the assigned period and the remaining period, he can move on to other places with better climatic conditions and enjoy life with his dear and near ones. Another point is that, if he is doing a very high salary job with extended hours, away from the family, this option will be favorable for them. They can limit their sufferings for a limited period; they can earn the livelihood, which is sufficient for the remaining months of the year together with constant job after a long gap. This will keep them relaxed and can maintain a healthy life style with high living standards.

On the other hand, the down side of it should not be neglected. People may become lazy as they took long gap. Since, many changes are taking place in each field, they may feel difficult to adapt with the new atmosphere and trim down their efficiency. Besides, if they find some other interesting jobs, or the company of friends, they may think it is better to stop the job. Most importantly, if they face financial problems, their living standards may reduce. The firm also suffers as the employee lost his proficiency in his task. It affects the productivity and profits of companies.

In short, a job with long gap has its own advantages and disadvantages. Since changes are inevitable in every field, let the people to make their own choice according to their perception, salary and so on, which decides the overweigh of advantages and disadvantages.
joythblessy   
Jan 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / Qualified people moving from poor to rich countries _Ielts [3]

hai...
you have some good points ...
Try not to copy the words from the question, use other words..

the point they have the right to live anywhere from the conclusion move to 1st para..

Your example is good...bt i feel it is better to to remove the word poor...).

Choose to move to richer/developed countries, because these countries...

They have hundereds of good....cut free from goverment (most of the facilities are not often free and people are paying taxes..) ...which makes

Welcomed in their home countries..,not limit to home towns because people are going to other countries..

Because the leaders...:you can avoid this sentance...

Moving or not ....personal decision.

Consider reading more essays andd organising points..

Always leave two spaces (new line) to seperate para..

All the best..

Tessy

Excuse for spelling mistakes..
joythblessy   
Jan 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Globalization:Negative sides should not be forgotten. [5]

Hai..Dumi, dev and Sayed..

Hai Dumi..
Thanks for your comments and time especially for the tip...):

Thanks dev for your correction..

Hai sayed..
Trim down is other word of reduce, my policy of writing is to use synonims as much as posible to reduce repetation of words and it will give a different look to essays...):

Thanks for the comments

Tessy
joythblessy   
Jan 24, 2013
Writing Feedback / advantages & disadvantages of high rise apartments - (IELTS essay) [5]

Hai Katrina...

Thanks for the comments..
I specially mentioned in my essay a point that if it is low rate flates...
I have to write with strong point that why i agree with the statment. In my mind there are lots of low rate flates in the metropolitian cities of india, where poor people with law wages are living with family. And i stayed 1 mth in one of these flats, in this essay i decribed about my personal experiences...):

I was not talking about the high tech high-rises masrooming resently..

Yes, you can write and point out all these things of flats with high tech facilities in your essay if you are disagreeing with the given statment..

Unfotunatelly, i totally aggree with the statment..):

Thanks for your time and sharing the opposite view...):

Tessy.
joythblessy   
Jan 23, 2013
Writing Feedback / advantages & disadvantages of high rise apartments - (IELTS essay) [5]

Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it's advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. Discuss advantages and disadvantages. Give your opinion.

Due to the increased demand of high rises and decreased availability of space, high rises are now mushrooming especially in cities. there are numerous advantages in living in a flat, the down side of this trend should not be neglected.

Undeniably, high rises satisfy the drastic demand of rentals in cities to an extent, they are excellent places for short stay. The prices of the flat are less compared to an individual house in the cities. Most importantly, it diminishes the demand of daily commuting and its associated stress and tensions. These places are blessings for people who are supposed to live and work away from their home. They can enjoy the facilities and high living standards, which are often offered by the urban life such as good hospitals, recreational facilities and so on. it relieves the stress of living away from their family members as they can enable to accommodate their family, dear and near ones with them. For instance, flats helps people to stay with their children and trim down the time of journey, fuel consumption, traffic block and all other related issues.

On the other hand, flats are place of congestion and insecurity, if not constricted and maintained in a good manner especially low rate flats. As these houses are following the same design, it is difficult to demolish or arrange according to the personal needs. Moreover, for anything and everything we have to depend on others and pay for it. For instance, the payment for water, removing garbage and transporting heavy things to and from the rooms payment is mandatory. As it is a high building it is away from the nature, and people may feel isolated. The neighborhood relations may vanish. Lack of proper parking facilities and relaxation facilities or loans may make their life more stressful. The disturbance from neighboring people may be resulted in lack of solitude and distraction in studies. For instance, if the neighbor is fond of playing T.V. louder, it may disturb the activities of all family members.

To conclude, it is undeniably true that, the high rises have both pros and cones. As far as I am concerned, I prefer to stay in flats for a short period, if it is unavoidable. Otherwise, I would like to live in individual houses.
joythblessy   
Jan 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Elder people should be looked after by family members or professionals? [7]

Hai dumi..

Thanks for your support and comments...
I am valuing your comments most...
Your sentences are awsome...

I already started our online speaking one hour (both sides two hours)
daily with my little brother...).

Reading is the most confusing task for me..

Graphs i started once but i am not able to upload the diagrams..so i dropped. i will see some soln for this..

Listening also i will start soon...

Thanks for your valuable correction especially for the tips..

Can you tell any resourecs to collect speaking vocabulary to improve speeaking..

Thanks a lot...
Tessy.
joythblessy   
Jan 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Elder people should be looked after by family members or professionals? [7]

In some countries people are not taking care of their elderly relatives - instead trained professionals are used to care for the elderly. Do you see this as a positive or a negative development?

Old age is an unavoidable condition and incurable disease. Nowadays young generation is interested to shift their elder relatives to old age homes where the service of the professionals is available. However, I feel that, it is a negative trend.

Life is not a bed of roses. Elder people in their young life faced a lot of hardships to bring up their children. They are the one who let us walk, speak and face the world. For young people caring their old relatives in their later lives is an excellent opportunity to show their gratitude for giving them a chance to see this wonderful world in very good manner.

Secondly, it is the moral duty of the young people to look after their older parents or relatives. Their attitude towards elder people is an example for the small children of the family and society. Through the behavior of their parents towards their grandparents indulge them the good qualities of how to behave with an old person, how to look after them and so on. it in turn favorable for the young generation as they become old, these small children will look after them in a better way, as they know how their parents interacted with their grandparents.

Lastly, in the evenings of life, these senior citizens deserve fondness and consideration from their own family members. Since they are more attached to their home and its surroundings, it will be a mental trauma for them to live in an old age home. The elder people like to see their children and children and spend time with them. It keeps them relaxed and provide fulfillment.

To conclude, in this materialistic world, people are becoming more selfish and run to achieve more. Still, we should understand the importance of the elder people and the hardships they overcome for us. Therefore, I feel, it is better to give the affection and attention of the family members and not the presence of professionals in the old age home.
joythblessy   
Jan 22, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Both man and women should share domestic works..? [6]

Men and women employed in full-time jobs have to share evenly household chores and caring for children at home. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

To adapt with the increased life expenses, nowadays, women and men are involved in fulltime works. It raises a question, whether they both are supposed to share their responsibilities inside the home or not. However, I totally agree with the given notion and explore it in detail.

To begin with, since women are putting their effort and time in increasing the financial status of the family, men are obliged to share her jobs inside the home. This sharing and caring helps to boost their relationship and both can perform domestic and professional tasks in a better way. This sharing pave way to wonderful memorable moments and this became sweet memories.

Additionally, the care and protection of both the parents are pivotal in the total developments of children. Although, women are experts in caring the children men can help her in cleaning, dish washing or even teaching the children. If all these works are assigned only to women, she can't do it perfectly and unable to maintain the right balance between the work and family. For a healthy life style, it is important. For instance, the works related to a party may led woman working late night and may disturbs her career next day. Sharing duties can make a difference.

Furthermore, distributing duties provide them with more free time and relaxation. They will not consider household work or profession as a burden and can enjoy both at the same time. The free time they can spend for some other purposes, such as playing with children, outing or shopping together, and so on. To illustrate, while woman is cutting and cleaning the fish, man can cut the ingredients for a fish curry and the extra time can be used for outing. Consequently, their total lives will be enjoyable and the children will be happy there. They will realize how to led a happy life and adjust family and profession in a right way.

To conclude, though the duties of both men and women are different inside the home, both should take the responsibility of fulfilling it with proper sharing and understanding. This will be a wonderful experience, and model for their children. Therefore, I feel, the duties inside the home should be evenly shared between both partners.
joythblessy   
Jan 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-Is it important to allocate part of school resources for & music education ? [6]

Hai sahar..

Overall good attempt. I like your essay especially, introduction and conclusion.

One small correction..

...confident that these will help TO build up...

Be careful about short messages..
Like thank you..).
It will count as meaningless messages.
which are the short cuts towards suspention...).
If you like the correction just click the like button...

Tessy.
joythblessy   
Jan 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / Is it good for teenagers to work? Yes, it's a Good Idea [8]

Hai..

I like your conclusion, but still i feel in the introduction, the opening sentance (the 1st sentence) seems little bit informal, resumbles like conversation. So try to start in a formal way..

Over all good attempt..
Good points..
Tessy
joythblessy   
Jan 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Globalization:Negative sides should not be forgotten. [5]

Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

Globalization is changing all aspects of people around the globe considerably. While I am accepting its numerous positive impacts, its disadvantages are not totally negligible.

Undeniably, globalization brings nations together. Internet and e- commerce have made the end of time and space. Presently, anybody can exchange his or her culture and ideas with anybody at anytime anywhere, if within the circle of internet. Multinational companies offers more job opportunities, better products and services and boost the performance of local companies through competition. Due to business outsourcing a large number of skilled professionals especially, in IT field are enjoying high salary staying in their own countries. People can study, settle anywhere, they desire by following the rules of that country. Culture and language became similar and the world is shrinked in to a global village. For instance, we can see our youngsters are wearing Nike T-shirts and Addidas shoes, listening hip-hop music in their ipods and eat at K.F.C.

Nevertheless, we cannot keep a blind eye on its negative impacts on population. Due to business outsourcing local unemployment flourishes, this is recently happened in America. Multi-national companies destroyed the local market. Since the world became uniform in culture and language small languages and local cultures are diminished. Furthermore, the internet and social networking services like facebook and twitter, trim down the face-to-face communication. Developmental processes bring pollution, wastage and environmental damage with them. People, particularly, young generation is more attached to Western culture, fast foods and neglect their own culture and traditions. Besides, too much information from the internet make people more confused.

To conclude, though globalization is gaining ground all around the world, it is like a double-edged knife, which is having both pros and cons. We should be wise to choose the best out of it.

Is it better to discuss the both sides, pros and cons or discuss the given statement, ie, negative only, as it is not clearly mentioned to discuss both sides. THANKS IN ADVANCE.
joythblessy   
Jan 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) education can reduce the number of criminals? [13]

Hai Dumi...

Thanks for your support and replay.
when i took the essay, i planned to start it like education mold..
Some how it changed. As i wrote it followed by time, i didn't delate that sentence.
I am respecting your sincerty, dedication and concern to all....).
I am saw a good teacher in you.
Harsh comments also with clear explanation i have no problem at all...).
Hope, writing thanks to all who commented my essay in a single message before closing is not a problem...).

Thanks a lot

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