Essays / Topic: Ties - Satire help [2]

Hi, my assignment is to write a satire criticizing any topic. i have the topic: Ties (and why they're pointless and stupid and stuff like that). I just need help writing my satire. Anyone have any ideas to help me get going? I can talk about ties and criticize them forever, but that's not what a satire is and i need help with ideas to write about. Thanks