Undergraduate / "I hail from Iran"; Illinois Common App/ impact of upbringing and experiences [2]

how your upbringing and experiences impacted who you are, your future goals and the choice of your major?

id' appreciate to know the weaknesses and the good things about my essay thx.
I hail from Iran, where my family has lived for generations. They allowed me privileges that were perhaps not available for many other girls in the traditional Islamic country: freedom of speech, the strong urge to actualize my dreams and the opportunity to excel at English as a foreign language. Last but not least, their divorce taught me to be independent as I had to do a part of housework besides my chores and I also had to fend for myself.

When I was fifteen, I was unable to run a program on my computer because of an error. I could not fix the error so I posted a question on Yahoo! Answers. A polish man replied right back and following the instructions he gave me I ran the program. I could speak English well enough to communicate with him easily so I got to know him more as I wanted to expand my world and communicate with people from different cultures nationalities. He was a computer science student, a major that was not offered in my country. He taught me C++, his favorite program to introduce aspects of his major to me. I enjoyed programming very much so I spent many days programming the functions I had learnt in Calculus classes. Soon everyone realized my affection for computer science and I was chosen as the teacher's assistant for computer department of my high school.

Can i sum it up and say my goal is to live a happy life and programming makes me ahppy the first place? then i want to help people and inform them by just working in networking field and provide accessible information for everyone? or it's better to say i like ur uni cz it has the 3rd largest library and i wanna research and communicate with the diverse student community of your uni?

Undergraduate / University of illinois/ Impact of past experiences [2]

1.How have your past circumstances and experiences (such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are, your future goals, and your choice of major? If you haven't decided on a college or major yet, briefly explain your intentions and aspirations for your first year at Illinois. Please limit your response to approximately 300 words.

i am not a native english speaker so i wont' get offended:) i need your help both with content and structure! thank you:)

I spent most of my childhood tending to my plants and pets while other four year old girls played with their Barbies. Being the only child, I had to remember to complete all of my chores or they would be left undone. When I got a little older, my hens started laying eggs and to avoid throwing them away, I sold the eggs to my neighbors and saved up the money. The money came in handy a few years later when I went to a shop with my father and saw a 1000 piece puzzle that I take my eyes off of the puzzle but my father refused to buy it because of its rather high price tag. Ultimately, I bought it with the money I had saved.

In middle school, I needed help with my computer and met a Polish man online to help me. He majored in computer science. I searched computer science online as it was not offered in Iran and compared it with similar majors such as Information technology. Wojtek taught me C++ and I learnt it passionately. I was going to pursue Computer Science as my major. Later I became the teacher's assistant for computer department of my high school and it was the reason I became doubtless that my choice of major was appropriate.

Computer science is my ultimate choice because I always believed I should learn something new every day not to be the person I was, yesterday. Therefore, I have stepped into chemistry, drawing, music, cooking... I am a problem solver, a patient person who enjoys logic and finding relationships among facts. Many find computer unsatisfying because it takes a lot of critical thinking and time to write programs but those reasons are what fascinate me.

Undergraduate / 'How to be a teacher?' - Essay for Washington university [4]

I am not a native english speaker, so criticize it and i won't get offended at all! even if you think the experience is not good enough and i have to write about something else, just please let me know, cz the deadline is in 5 days!

I was only seventeen. My friends pushed me. It was the first job interview I was going through. Not to mess up in the interview, I checked up a few sites that gave tips on how to manage a good interview. Finally I got there. There were twenty applicants and three were going to be chosen for teaching position. Most applicants were experienced teachers. I was there to evaluate myself. The thing I wanted the most; was to experience an interview, one that wouldn't matter to me a lot so, later I wouldn't feel uncomfortable in a life changing interview

My mom drove me to the English Institute. The interview went well, I wasn't stressed at all, I was a hundred percent sure that I wasn't the one going to be accepted. Although I waited for them to call me, the call was going to be fourteen days after the interview. I checked my mobile every now and then. Anyone who would call, I would jump and pick my mobile. Finally they called. I was surprised. My friends congratulated me a lot.

After taking a few sessions of a class: How to be a teacher? I went to the class, which I was going to teach for a semester. The class was hot. Air conditioner was not working and one little girl was crying. Her dad told me to take care of her. I was scared. We were told the classes were going to have not more than five students but I had fifteen young students. I first didn't like the kids but, after a while when they hugged me and called me teacher, I felt excited; I gradually fell in love with them.

The term was going to end. It was a flow of parents asking me to teach their kids for the next semester as well. The little girl who cried first session wrote me a letter saying how much she loves me. My boss did not let me teach them, because she thought it's not good that children feel dependent on a teacher, therefore she started teaching them for the next semester. Again, it was a flow of parents to the office, asserting they are not satisfied with the new teacher, who was actually my boss.

Love is the key to success. We are born to make changes. To inform people is my ultimate goal. I am a good teacher, and I'm going to adopt my talent to make poverty, which is caused by nothing but obliviousness, vanish.

Undergraduate / How do you expect to grow in Alma College; 'I come from Iran' [3]

I am not a native english speaker so i won't be offended. About the structure, content, sentences, anything just let me know where and what i should add.

I come from Iran. Before Arabs invaded my country, its name was Persia. My last name is Parsi, means coming from Persia. I live with my mother, not that I haven't felt love of both my parents. They are divorced now. Before my father's depression overcame his love, he used to love me, and I enjoyed being loved.

I have grown up now, not fully. But, I know how to take care of myself. I know how to live in the absence of freedom, love, equality. What I hope to regain, or even rebuild, is what I feel I have lost. I want to learn. I have always been an eager learner, someone thirsty for a piece of valuable information. When I was a kid, people used to ask me: What do you want to be when you grow up? Well, I used to tell them: A genius. After I finished primary school my answer changed, I wanted to be a vet. Even now, I rescue animals, stray dogs and cats and other animals. By finishing second year of high school, I knew that I want to inform people. I praised Berners-Lee for inventing the internet, for informing people.

In my country, people are suffering from poverty. Their poverty is not rooted in anything but knowledge. I want to learn, and then inform people, about the truth. I am born to grow, to make the world a better place. Now if you ask me what I want to be, I will say a teacher, not simply a person who teaches a lesson for years over and over. I want to become a Berners-Lee, an influential person.

We are born to grow, and to help others grow. I am looking for teachers who can take my hand, and show me the way, and I will take a millions of hands after that.

Undergraduate / A character defining moment. 'November 20th was a cold, cloudy day' [4]

November 20th was a cold, cloudy day. SAT scores were to be announced about noon. I was shivering a little at school, I cannot tell whether it was because I was worried about my score or because it was a cold day. I barely remember what the calculus teacher said. I had the opportunity to take SAT only once, because SAT was not offered in my country and it would be too much to ask my parents to go to another country for several times, also I couldn't ditch school with the excuse of SAT.

My friends took SAT last year. They took SAT for three or even four times. The good thing is that I inherited the books and it was a pleasure for me to have such great friends. The second class, I barely remember what it was, but I remember the teacher let me go and check if the scores were available or not by then. Immediately, I checked them out and saw they were going to be announced soon. I was totally mad, When was soon going to be?

I didn't go back to the class. I kept walking in a circle and thinking. What if my score was not so pleasant? What I expected was around 1800. My friend last year got 1920, she told me I was better than her, but she had taken the test for three times. I am a reader. I am the fastest reader I know and I scarcely miss an important piece of information. But English is not my native language. The bell rang and my best friend approached me. We checked out the scores again. Tricking myself, I hid my face in my hands and looked at the screen from the middle of my fingers.

Next moment, my hands covered my face for another reason, to hide my tears. I didn't score well, and I knew I didn't have a second chance. My friend hugged me and said, Sayna, this is only a test. You are our friend; you are more to be tested in a few hours. You are more than papers.

I did not want to utter a word to my friends. Although I tried to keep silent, my eyes told everything my mouth didn't. When I got home, my mother said, Sayna, You are my daughter. Nothing can ever change this. After that, I was assassinated with numerous calls from teachers, family and friends. I told them my score, well, I was shy to tell them, but I'm glad I finally did.

After that, I came to my peaceful room, with a window to the world and a diverse collection of cacti. I planted the new cyclamens that I had seeded four months before, in separate pots. I praised my little cyclamens. i knew It will take a long time to have cyclamens flourish, same as hard work.