Archidrumedic
Dec 1, 2012
Scholarship / Curious and Determined - Scholarship essay for NUS [2]
Glad to finally participate in this forum, it is my first time posting thread;
This Personal Statement was made in order to apply for the scholarship at National University of Singapore (NUS)
Would you guys help me to make the essay more concise, and make it less than 300 words. Oh and please give me suggestions to help me improve this essay. It means a lot. Thanks!
topic- Outstanding Achievements
"How much longer?" I would ask my father as my family gathered around a candle in the darkness. Power outages were a common occurrence in my childhood, when power stations could not keep up with energy demands. Even now, the world, not just Indonesia, faces the challenge of maintaining industrial growth while our supplies of fossil fuels continue to dwindle. I want to become someone who plays an important role in future energy solutions. As an individual in an increasingly globalized world, it is my responsibility to ensure that we have sustainable sources of energy for society to function normally and to mantain our current way of living.
My interest in science first took off when I was asked to represent my school in the National Science Olympiad (OSN), where, despite limited preparation time and conflicts with my school curriculum, I made it past numerous selection tests to represent the District of Central Jakarta and eventually, became one among fifty other students chosen to represent the city of Jakarta in the nationwide finals. Despite making it so far in the competition, the pressure of wanting to be consistent with my school results meant that I chose to leave the competition. Regardless, the OSN awoke in me a deep fascination in the sciences, leading me on to participate in the Indonesian Young Scientists Competition, a research project competition for high school students.
Our research on the "Effects of Colors Given to Dye Sensitized Solar Cell" not only made it to the finals, but it was also when I became really interested in energy production.
With my goal of pursuing better education overseas, I am always committed to academic excellence, achieving 5 consecutive cum laude awards, certifying an average of at least 85% in all subjects; with particular excellence in math, physics, and chemistry.
It has always been my desire to advance my education in one of the world's top universities. I relish the challenge of living independently in a new environment and coping with the demands of higher education. As someone who is bilingual and has travelled in Singapore, I believe I can integrate myself easily into Singaporean culture and develop lasting relationships both personally and professionally.
I believe there will come a time when we can no longer keep up with the energy demands of the world, unless we tap into new sustainable sources of energy. I also believe that the privilege of studying Chemical Engineering at NUS will equip me with the skills and knowledge to help tackle this coming challenge. There is an answer to every problem and I am confident that I can find the solution to our energy needs.
Glad to finally participate in this forum, it is my first time posting thread;
This Personal Statement was made in order to apply for the scholarship at National University of Singapore (NUS)
Would you guys help me to make the essay more concise, and make it less than 300 words. Oh and please give me suggestions to help me improve this essay. It means a lot. Thanks!
topic- Outstanding Achievements
"How much longer?" I would ask my father as my family gathered around a candle in the darkness. Power outages were a common occurrence in my childhood, when power stations could not keep up with energy demands. Even now, the world, not just Indonesia, faces the challenge of maintaining industrial growth while our supplies of fossil fuels continue to dwindle. I want to become someone who plays an important role in future energy solutions. As an individual in an increasingly globalized world, it is my responsibility to ensure that we have sustainable sources of energy for society to function normally and to mantain our current way of living.
My interest in science first took off when I was asked to represent my school in the National Science Olympiad (OSN), where, despite limited preparation time and conflicts with my school curriculum, I made it past numerous selection tests to represent the District of Central Jakarta and eventually, became one among fifty other students chosen to represent the city of Jakarta in the nationwide finals. Despite making it so far in the competition, the pressure of wanting to be consistent with my school results meant that I chose to leave the competition. Regardless, the OSN awoke in me a deep fascination in the sciences, leading me on to participate in the Indonesian Young Scientists Competition, a research project competition for high school students.
Our research on the "Effects of Colors Given to Dye Sensitized Solar Cell" not only made it to the finals, but it was also when I became really interested in energy production.
With my goal of pursuing better education overseas, I am always committed to academic excellence, achieving 5 consecutive cum laude awards, certifying an average of at least 85% in all subjects; with particular excellence in math, physics, and chemistry.
It has always been my desire to advance my education in one of the world's top universities. I relish the challenge of living independently in a new environment and coping with the demands of higher education. As someone who is bilingual and has travelled in Singapore, I believe I can integrate myself easily into Singaporean culture and develop lasting relationships both personally and professionally.
I believe there will come a time when we can no longer keep up with the energy demands of the world, unless we tap into new sustainable sources of energy. I also believe that the privilege of studying Chemical Engineering at NUS will equip me with the skills and knowledge to help tackle this coming challenge. There is an answer to every problem and I am confident that I can find the solution to our energy needs.
