Writing Feedback / Computers usage at school-level studies for children (IELTS) [8]

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills.

Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Modern technology has totally changed our approach to study. In the past, children only had option of writing with pen on paper and reading from paper-based books. Nowadays, most of the schools do not pay much attention towards the traditional way of reading and writing. This may cause some issues. I completely agree to stop computers usage at school-level studies and will propose some reasons to support my statement.

The principal reason to abandon computer usage at school-level studies is the elimination of writing skills from a child. There can be many occasions where a person do not have access to computers and if the child is unfamiliar with writing in any language without computer then consequences can be imagined. For example, a person wants to express its emotions in a written way and there is no access of computers. The situation like this may create problem for such a child as the child is not at all familiar with the structure of alphabets while writing.

Another reason is the impact of computers screen on a child's eyes while using it. It is severe in reading. As the children's eyes are very fragile, so constant radiations may harm their eyesight. Short eyesight and sometimes completely blindness are some of its examples. Constant reading and reading in unsuitable positions from computer are bad for a child's physical and mental health.

To summarize, I believe that at least in the primary schools studies children should be discouraged to use computers, as this may create a knowledge gap for writing skills and may result in bad health by reading text through computers.

Writing Feedback / IELTS; Can price hikes on fuel solve environmental problems? [8]

The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Environmental problems are rapidly increasing all over the world. Scientists infer that this is due to burning of fuel such as petrol, coal and gas etc. Some people think that the use of fuel can be controlled by increasing its price whereas others believe that the threats to the environment can be controlled by introducing other sources of energy and supporting researchers for their environmental problems research. In the following essay I would look at both sides of the argument and provide my opinion in light of the results.

The people who consider increase in fuel price is the solution of environment pollution give reason that this will cut down the use of cars. As most of the people prefer to use their personal vehicles to for travelling and increase in fuel price will force them to stop using them. Moreover this will motivate them to use public transports for daily travelling to work and other places. As a result, there may be a large reduction in the number of cars on road, so this this will help to lower the air pollution.

The supporters of the other side of argument, however, argue that instead of increasing fuel prices other actions should be considered to minimize environmental issues. Both government and individual must take it seriously. Individuals should buy the cars which emit less fumes. At government level, the authorities should educate people to use other sources of energy; for example light energy and water energy to generate electricity instead of coal, patrol or other kinds of fuels. Moreover they should support researchers in finding other ways of minimizing impacts of fuel burning on our environment. The research for running vehicles on other resources such as water and solar kits must be funded. By doing so, the threats to our environment can be reduced.

In conclusion, I believe that we should look for other ways to reduce environmental pollution caused by fuel instead of increasing prices of it.

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Hi guys

I would appreciate your time and efforts if you could comment on my essay.

Regards
S

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: Suggestions for the densely populated countries. [3]

Counties such as China, India and Japan have unsustainable population growths. In fact many experts are of the opinion that the population 'explosion' which is now a very worrying concern, is the most serious threat to life on this planet.

Give some suggestions to address this problem.

Advancement in medicine and science has a great impact on the world's population. Unlike past, nowadays birth rate has increased and death rate has decreased. Countries like India, China and Japan are considered overpopulated. This overpopulation creates many issues for the people. Some of them are hunger, lack of education, resources limitation and lack of employment. In the following essay I will propose some suggestions to control the population.

First of all, population control is possible only with the individual's co-operation. People of the overpopulated countries should be educated to have smaller families. Moreover, efforts should be made in order to realize them the benefits of having one or two kids only. Benefits such as happy family, more opportunities and healthy lifestyle should be promoted through advertisements and media. Furthermore, people should be educated to adopt birth control methods such as pregnancy termination pills, contraception and surgical operation etc. Educating people in this manner will surely be helpful in having fewer children, so this will control the population.

Secondly, at government level there must be laws regarding birth. Like in China, families having more than an allowed number of children must be fined. In addition to this, government should put tax on the families for additional babies. By regulations from government people will be compelled to have smaller families and hence, population will be reduced to the required level one day.

To summarize, both government and individual level help is needed to control the population in the over-populated countries.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: Impact of computer usage on children. [8]

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Computer has become a part of almost everyone's life. It has been in discussion for a long time that whether it is good or bad for children. I believe that its virtues are far more than its vices. In the following paragraphs I will provide some reasons to support my statement.

The principal reason for considering computers for children in their everyday life is its usefulness in learning new things. There are many software that make difficult concepts of hard and dry subjects easy to absorb. For example, Algebra and Geometry are the two important and toughest concepts of mathematics but the intuitive nature of some good software makes it easy to learn for children. Moreover, the learning is very fast with computers and a child's mind adopts it quickly. To learn new things computers can help a child in various ways.

Another reason for promoting computer usage in children is that they do not feel any need to remain out of their homes for playing. For the countries where there are proper places for children games may this reason not be very effective but for others like Bangladesh, Pakistan and India etc. the computer games are really helpful. These games keep the children at home and a child remains safe from the vulnerabilities such as drugs, crimes and bad company. Undoubtedly, computers are a blessing for such an environment.

In conclusion, after analysing computer's usefulness in learning and giving an healthy environment I disagree that computers have more bad effects on children than that of good effects.

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Hi,

Kindly review my essay and please suggest me any important advice you consider for my writing. I've my exam in a couple of weeks and I am targeting band 8.

Regards
S

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Increase of Illiteracy rate causes and effects on society [10]

Illiteracy has traditionally been viewed as largely a third world problem.
However it is becoming apparent that in countries such as the USA and Australia, illiteracy is on the increase. Discuss possible causes for this and its effect on society

Education plays an important role in building a person's personality. Lack of education is an issue for many third world countries but it has been seen that some developing countries are also heading towards the threat. In the following paragraphs I will analyse its reasons and impacts on the society.

First of all, lack of family support is the main cause of literacy. Families do not tend to show interest in their children's education. As a result they start showing less interest in their studies and eventually stop it at a certain age. Furthermore, there are very few scholarships for the students who want to study but cannot bear their expenses. Therefore, they leave their education incomplete.

Second of all, the recession time the world is going through is another reason for the increased illiteracy rate. Countries like USA and Australia are not save from it, so children do not think it necessary to get an education. When they hear the unemployment news in media they find themselves reluctant from studies, so they abandon education and start looking for job. For a short term profit they do not know that they are losing many opportunities such as the best time to learn and a vast exposure in knowledge. When the children grow older they often regret of their decision and target society and people for all of their misfortunes.

To summarize, literacy rate can be raised by providing financial and emotional support to the children in the first world countries.

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Hi

Please check my essay for correction. I appreciate yours help so far.

Regards
S

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Should both parents work in a family? [3]

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Competition around the globe is very strict these days. All the parents try to provide best of what they can. This race compels both parents of the modern families to work for fulfilling the needs of their children. Some people believe that it is alright if both parents in a family work whereas others tend to oppose the statement. I believe that in order to fairly divide the burden and provide facilities to the children both parents must work.

The people who think that only one parent should be responsible for earning money to support the family give reason of emotional support from parents. They believe that children developing in these families share a strong bond with the family members. Moreover, they find themselves more secure especially in the time when they are after some advice from their elders, for example during early days in schools and while preparing for exams. The instant help not only lessens their worries but also creates intense attachment in the relationship.

The people who support the idea of working of both parents, however, argue that this divides the parent's burden and helps them in providing better facilities. For example, these parents can bear the expanses of a good school for the children and can fulfil their demands without taking any external help. Furthermore, these parents tend to be more understanding and concerned about their children. This care impacts in a good way on their future.

In addition to this the children of working parents are found more responsible and understanding. This is because, from the very small age they know how to take care of themselves and handle the matters in the absence of the parents. This helps greatly in their behavioural development.

In conclusion, it is good to have both parents working in order to meet the needs of modern world and developing a child's personality.

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Hi guys

Please help me by checking the essay.

Thanks for yours great help so far.

Regards
S

Letters / Letter : Write a letter to get your coat back from your friend's place where you stay [2]

You have just spent a weekend at a friend's house. When you returned home, you discovered you have left a coat containing some belongings in his house.

Write a letter to your friend telling him that you left the coat. Tell him
what the coat looks like
where you think you left it and what was inside it.
Make some suggestions about how to get it back

Dear Michael,
I hope you've been very well. I just returned to home last night. I must say that the time I've spent with you and your family is really unforgettable and amazing. I thank you for this.

While unpacking my luggage in the morning I found that I had left my coat at your place. It's a long waist coat and black in colour. There is a Christian cross underneath its collar. I remember when we came back from the exhibition, it was in my hand but after that I can't remember where I put it, perhaps in the wardrobe or on the back of the chair in the room where I was staying.

There is a pocket dictionary, a fountain pen and a wrist watch in its pockets. I am just wondering if you could parcel me the items along with my coat. It'd be great if you could write me the amount of money needed to send the items so that I could transfer it to you.

Please say hello to your family for me.

Regards
Sheldon

Writing Feedback / IELTS : Have modern ways of preparing food improved the way people live? [11]

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Food is a necessity for all live organisms. Perhaps since the time human evolved and learned the way to cook food, it has been considered the most challenging task for many people. Nowadays, the modern technologies have also affected our conventional ways of cooking food along with many other changes in our lifestyle. I believe that this change has introduced many benefits to us and in rest of the essay I will discuss its significance on our life.

First, modern way of cooking food is less time consuming and requires minimum attention. Latest household appliances such as microwave ovens, electric stoves and smart ovens have lessened the efforts in preparing the food. These appliances often come with timers and alarms so the food does not need a full time attention. This has given us a lot of time to relax or perform other activities.

Second, many food items and spices are readily available in market these days. These ready-made items do not only eliminate the extra work of pealing and chopping them but also get cooked very fast. Frozen vegetables and pizzas are the mostly seen examples of the ready-to-cook items. The real importance of these items can be seen in the families where cooking is done by persons who live on their own and do not have external help to prepare their meals.

To summarize, I believe that the modern way of preparing food has saved a lot of efforts and time.

Writing Feedback / IELTS : Is knowledge gained from books or experiences? 'both are important' [4]

It has been said, "Not everything that is learned is contained in books."
Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Undoubtedly, source of knowledge cannot be limited to the books only. Man learns from every single thing if it wishes to. Some people prefer to read books to get knowledge while others believe that it is acquired by experience. I have a mixed opinion about this and believe that both ways are important in gaining knowledge to benefit ourselves.

The role of books can be understood when we see its significance in our research. Work of previous scientists is passed to the next generation in this way. Complex Mathematical formulas and Physics laws which are outcomes of someone's past experiences are the exquisite examples of this preserved knowledge in books. Furthermore, it is less time consuming for getting the results. However, theoretical knowledge is incomplete without its practical implication. For example, one can read good books on driving a car and gain knowledge but it will not learn it until give it a practical go.

On the other hand, experience plays its own role in learning. It is well-known that lessons learned from experience are not easily forgotten. They live with us in our entire life. For instance, a child is told several times that not to play with fire but most of the time it does not listen and when it hurts itself by trying to catch it, it learns that playing with fire is harmful .The only issue in learning with experience is the time it takes. Moreover, it requires a lot of one's patience as well.

In conclusion, I believe that both are important and to get full benefits of knowledge one must have to acquire it from books and experience.

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Hi guys

Please check my essay and let me know yours suggestions.

Thanks

S

Writing Feedback / IELTS : I believe that parents are the best among the teachers to teach [3]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Learning is a part of development. We, the human, learn from friends, family, neighbours, teachers and our surroundings. A person's moral, intellectual and behavioural brought-up depends on various factors and circumstances, but I believe that among all of them parents play a vital role. In rest of the essay, I will present the reasons to support my statement.

First, home is a first institute for a child and mother and father are the first teachers for the child in it. All the things a child learns are adopted from them. For example, they learn to talk first on seeing their parents talking. Moreover, the same is true for developing their moral ethics as well. When a kid finds its parents showing concern about lying and stealing, it learns that these are bad things and should be avoided. Parents should be very careful because if their statements contradict with their actions, a child may suffer badly.

Second, children tend to listen their parents mostly. It is perhaps due to paternal bond and the respect that when they are taught or told something by parents they understand it. No matter, if it is described in a strict way, eventually they happen to follow it. For example, I used to drive my motorbike very fast and one day when my father found it, he strictly forbade me and stopped me to use motorbike. I was very resistant to the matter at that time but later I understood that. Same type of lesson would have not been tolerated if it was given by others.

To summarize, I believe that parents are the significant among the teachers to teach.

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Hi guys

Thanks for my help so far, please let me know your valuable suggestions.

Regards
S