Research Papers /
Research paper on Mormons! [20]
Your paper is, for the most part, well written and informative. Not knowing what the assignment was, it is hard to tell how well you met the requirements. It is a looooong paper and could benefit from some tightening. The narrative seems to jump around quite a bit chronologically. You might be able to find a better way to organize it.
As a straight research paper, it quickly becomes obvious from your semantics where your heart lies. Be more careful to state the facts without slant.
You talk a lot about the history of Mormonism without really going into beliefs. I would think that a brief statement of beliefs is imperative to understanding the church. The idea of a living prophet with divine communication is an important tenet of the church. The Mormons accept the Old Testament and the New Testament as holy books with the Book of Mormon also being a holy book that supersedes the other two. This is a concept that most people can wrap their heads around-it is kind of like the Book of Mormon is the new, new testament.
The section on Mormon politicians seems a little long and bogged down in details. It might be better to emphasize prominent Mormons in many fields. Steve Young, Stephanie Meyer (Twilight series), the Osmonds, Gladys Knight, Ken Jennings (of Jeopardy! fame and writer for my favorite magazine-Mental-Floss). I know that there are more, but it is the ones in pop culture that come to mind off hand.
Your discussion also bogs down when it comes to discussing the other religions. Maybe combine the section into one that talks about religious persecution in general.
I am going to nitpick here. I am not picking on you, but you have obviously put a lot of time into this paper and care about how others perceive it so I will share my thoughts.
You leave out a point that I feel is pretty important . . . when Brigham Young and his followers first settled in Utah, they were in Mexico. They settled in Mexico to avoid US laws against polygamy. It wasn't until after the Mexican-American War that Utah became a territory.
Three are a couple of word choices that I find odd:
banned a local newspaper that suggested hanging him as a punishment for his blasphemy, a riot ensued and Smith ended up in prison.
Did they "suggest" hanging Smith or did they demand it? Suggest is such a soft word, especially when you are talking about something as serious as a hanging. The same holds true for "ended up." It sounds almost like it was accidental. You could simply change that part to, "the ensuing riot landed Smith in jail." (If I remember right from "Under the Banner of Heaven," it was the local jail. In modern times, the word "prison" connotes long-term incarceration for a felony while jail is short-term holding and used for misdemeanors.)
once slavery had been abolished, the government began to criticize the practice of polygamy in the Mormon church
I would think that the government criticized polygamy before the the Civil War. Maybe reword this so that the government is focusing on polygamy.
This tremendous growth was due largely to the fact that the number of Mormon missionaries, members of the Mormon church who travel to foreign countries to convert people, grew from 4,000 to 50,000
That is incredible growth, but it doesn't tell the reader much without a time frame. How long did it take the church to increase the number of missionaries this much? What year is the 4,000 figure from and what year is the 50,000 figure from?
"seminary classes" for high school and college students.
I don't know why you have this in quotes. When I see quotes of this nature, I think that it wasn't really a seminary school, but just called that. The word seminary just means religious education. It doesn't need to be in quotes.
mid western use Midwestern (one word and with a capital).
Americans became infuriated and some even referred to it as one of the "twin relics of barbarism" (the other being slavery)
When you are using parenthesis for citation, it would be better to rewrite this to avoid their use within the sentence. You could use em-dashes or say something like: "some referred to slavery and polygamy as the "twin relics of barbarism."
For these reasons, I understand why the government is hesitant to legalize plural marriage. However, the idea of polygamy is not inherently evil; if men and women have consensual, polygamous relationships, I see no problem. The issue lies in the human rights violations that stem from polygamy in the Fundamentalist Mormon church.
This is most likely due to its shock factor and the incredibly repressive lifestyles that are practiced by polygamists.
These sentences stray into opinion. Oh my heck (a phrase I picked up from a Mormon friend), they don't just stray into opinion, these sentences philander in opinion.
church is still growing very fast
This is awkward. "The church continues its rapid growth."
congress voted . . . capitalize the word Congress.
Such was the beginnings of Mormon political participation in America. . . . I'd omit this.
treasurer of the United States of America . . . capitalize Treasurer.
bible . . . capitalize Bible.
Jean Westwood was the first female member of the church to head a political party
Really not enough information here. She was the Chairman of the Democratic National Committee. It also makes it sound like there have been other female members of the church to head national political parties and Ms. Westwood was just the first.
Then in 2008, Romney became the most successful Mormon presidential candidate in history, winning in 11 states during the primaries, which put him in second place, behind John McCain. However, after Super Tuesday, he suspended his campaign. Currently, he is writing a book and preparing for his candidacy in the 2012 presidential election (Ostling, 1999.)
Sorry, but I have to point out the irony here . . . you cite a source written in 1999 that provides information about the 2008 Presidential race? Now that is prophecy! Does Romney win in 2012?
one of the newest successful religions and the only major religion created on American soil.
I am not sure what this mean. How do you define successful when it comes to a religion? Most people would probably say salvation. The *only* religion created on American soil? There were many native religions. Jehovah's Witnesses and Scientology were created on American soil as well. I am probably missing a few, but that ought to be enough to dispute your point.
Currently, the majority of the Supreme Court is Roman Catholic (Byrne, 2000.)
Take this one out. You repeat it later and I believe that you mean that Kennedy's Presidency was the turning point for Catholic assimilation, not the Supreme Court.
Today, Catholics are no longer persecuted and they have completely assimilated into American culture.
This is a pretty broad statement. I would not say that Catholics have completely assimilated. My high school always plans something important on Good Friday without a thought to the calendar. True, the KKK isn't after the Catholics like they were in the early part of the 20th Century, but I still think that the statement is too broad.
American protestants were eager to adopt the anti-Semitic attitudes of their European counterparts, who frowned upon Judaism
First of all, capitalize Protestant. Antisemitic is one word and not capitalized. Were the Protestants really *eager* to be antisemitic? Some were. Some weren't. Have you ever read George Washington's letter to the Jews of Newport, Rhode Island? I'd say that our country was founded on religious freedom and tolerance. Yes, there have been times when we, as people, haven't lived up to those ideals, but to claim that American Protestants were eager to adopt antisemitism just isn't true. You might also want to consider why some American religions have NOT been persecuted . . . Jehovah's Witnesses and Scientology may be made fun of in Saturday Night Live skits, but they, as a whole, have been law-abiding and free of governmental persecution.
Henry Kissinger, Secretary of State and United States National Security Advisor for Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford and Joe Lieberman (Senator of Connecticut and Al Gore's running mate in the 2000 presidential election) (Sarna & Golden, 2000.)
What in the world are you trying to say here? That Kissinger was Secretary of State for Joe Lieberman? Or that Gerald Ford was Jewish. This section needs clarification.
Today, Muslims, at .05 % still remain a very small percentage of the American population, although their presence is increasing more rapidly
Their presence is increasing more rapidly than what? The increase in Americans who identify themselves as Muslim is due not only to immigration, but also conversion-conversions are especially high among African-American prison populations.
I apologize if my thoughts are jumbled. It has grown late here and I have spent more time than I should have.