Writing Feedback / IELTS- competition and cooperation , which one is important for children? [7]

Dear All,

My name is Tam and I'm a new member of this Essay Forum. Today is Nov, 24, 2013, just a moment ago and I saw this forum. I'm very interesting to join the forum because my grammar doesn't good. I'm learning and would like to improve my ability in English writing. Now I'm starting with the writing Essay and I hope I can post my Essay to here and every body can help me correct the grammar.

Thank you in advance,
Best regards,
Tam