Writing Feedback / IELTS - Tourism: good or bad? - it's a modern form of colonialism [14]

Topic: Tourism is a modern form of colonialism. It distorts local economies, causes environmental damage and ruins the places it exploits.
To what extent would you support or reject this idea?

Could you guys review my essay? Thanks a lot :)

Tourism, since its first appearance a long time ago, can be described as a controversial celebrity. Some believe that tourism is attributed to domestic economic distortion, environmental devastation and irrepairable damage to the exploited places. However, I strongly disagree with this misconcept for the two following reasons.

First of all, tourism plays an indispensable role in nurturing the economy in a way it is meant to be. Basically, places of interest often locate in the wilderness areas, of which economy, before their appearance, haven't blossmed yet. Not until the investment of some companies do chains of hotels and services spring up. It will, by all means, attract considerable attention which goes hand in hand with the enormous income for the local residents. In other word, tourism helps divert the local economy to its right direction, which exploit the best out of its own potential.

Secondly, even though environmental damage is inevitable, it is not tourism to be blamed for. In order to turn a wilderness into a place of attraction, the planners must have taken the nourishment of the sceneries into thorough consideration. To be precise, for instance, a fortune is spent on trimming the trees, watering the flowers, preserving and balancing the local fauna and flora, in the hope of beautifying the wild. Not to mention ecotourism, a new kind of environment-friendly service, which gives all environmentalists and nature lovers a hand in raising the awareness of people in protecting their coexistent creatures. Because of that, tourism should not be alledged to be notorous for its detriment to the ecological diversity.

All thing considered, tourism has proven its friendly attitude towards the exploited areas in terms of finance and environmental impact. In my opinion, the combination of tourism and teaching process is highly recommended in pursuit of a harmonial relationship between human and their surroundings.

Writing Feedback / Parent should acquisite skills of listening and taking care of their children [3]

Topic: what are some of the qualities of a good parent? Use specific details and examples to explain your answer.

Could you please review and rate my essay? Thanks a lot!

Having a good parent means a flying start to a child. Many people engaged themselves in confusion and anxiety the moment they become a parent, for in their perspective, the model of a good parent is beyond approach. However, in my opinion, a so-called good parent should simply acquire attentiveness and mutual understanding with their child.

To begin with, great parents are the ones who played an active role in tending to their children. It is parent who has to figure out what his/her son is struggling therefore relate to him by accomodating those needs. For example, they willingly spend a myriad of their working time on the child's homework. Rarely do people realize the use of helping children with small problems, either in study, or in friendships, in physical and mental development by giving them advice and courage, can establish a close relationship between them and the children. By that, the parents have proven their capability of nurturing the family ties as well as their reliability for the children to back up on when needed.

Some people who are very careful and thorogh, still, fail to lessen heated row with their children, which means seeing eye to eye with the youngster is of great importance. Derived from their overly attentiveness, the fear of the child getting hurt or severe problem naturally forces the father/mother to prevent the children from doing anything. Not to mention their imposal of careers on the child due to the fact that they might still be stuck in their century. For instance, parents usually frown on their children taking on the job of playing musical instruments as it can not earn a good living. Only when parents allow themselves to catch up with the world in which their children are growing in, to understand what they pursue by heart and sould are they able to unwrap the cotton wool around their babies. That is the key factor for reciprocal support to be formed.

In conclusion, a good parent should acquisite the skills of listening and taking care of their children in order to fully understand his/her demand. Once the children's problems are to be known, and thus to be solved, the parents, out a a sudden, are regarded as a role model to follow.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: WAY TO REDUCE THE AMOUNT OF TRAFFIC? [8]

Topic: The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Could you please review my essay? Thanks a lot!

Big cities nowadays can be described as melting pots. The problem off traffic overload, caused by overpopulation, has aroused interest of many city planners. It is argued that only if the demand to go out on the street is cut down can we solve the seemingly insurmountable issue of traffic gridlock. However, I have to profoundly disagree for there are still two viable solutions besides besides this way.

First of all. public transport is a key factor to minimize the number of vehicles on the street. Buses and trains have been phased in the streets for quite a long time and have proven themselves the best candidates among all options. Apparently, a bus can carry no less than 30 people, while a train can carry as much as nine or even ten times of that number. Not to mention the fact that highway train is operated underground, which leaves the street above with buses and non-fuel-based vehicles. Together, they will lessen the crowded image in most cities nowadays.

Second, rarely do we realize the helpful existence of urban areas. It is believed that if some of the enormous shopping malls or universities were relocated in the commuter belt, the city street would be les burstling and overly-teemed as it is now. As a rule of thumb, huge centers of attention distributed equally in a wide region means that residential areas will come along thus exert less pressure on the public facilities. The city itself will be absolved of enduring the influx of immigrants as well as unemployed people.

In conclusion, city planner can still opt for non-personal vehicle and the exploitation of the suburb areas. It is highly recommended to put forward such solution, especially in some developing countries like Vietnam or China, with the ever-growing demand for job or education.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS TASK 2] old and young workers [9]

Topic: It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred.

To what extent would you support or reject this idea?

Could you guys rate my essay? Thanks a lot!

Throughout human history, the offspring has always proved its stronger adaptability and advancement than its predecessor. This is still true in the industrial society nowadays, where younger workers are preferably employed and promoted rather than over-50 workers. There are three reasons that can explain their unresponsiveness to the modern workplace.

First and foremost, old workers are not a patch on the younger ones for their unchanged paradigm. The old were raised in poverty, probably caused by war, look at the world from a negative and pessimistic point of view. The misery is so ingrained in their mind that they refuse to change, or more precisely, to accept the existence of such modernity. For example, most would rather choose to piece together parts of a machine than have it done by a robot for their disbelief of its efficiency and safety compared with human's capability.

Secondly, their unresponsiveness can be attributed to their attitude towards life. In other words, that they are aware of their deteriorating health and lack of enthusiasm comes with their taste for monotony and safe ideology. This, by all means, is outweigh by youngsters' adventurousness and bravery. Blatantly seen, success of most companies stems from young people, whose enterprising ideas that catch up with the world is regarded as wind of refreshment.

Last but not least, knowledge is worth mentioning as a key factor to help young workers outrank the elderly. Who would the employer choose, an old man with old-fashioned education and a young man who is not only good at fundermentaly subject, but also knows how to program or how to speak foreign languages. Not to undermine old workers, but their lack of authority over such basically required fields in this day and age leads to their incompetence in every modern workplace.

All in a nutshell, workers over 50 have proven themselves subordinate to the following generation in all aspects. However, in my point of view, it is still of great importance to remain the harmonious coexistence of both sides for the smooth sailing of the company.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Young people in the modern world [4]

Topic: Young people in the modern world seem to have more power and influence than any previous young generation.
Why is this the case?
What impact does this have on the relationship between old and young people?
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As our world gradually develops, there have been remarkable changes in the society, notably the ever-appreciated role of youngsters. That they have unprecedentedly been attaining more power and influence has aroused a great deal of controversy. This essay will discuss the reason to this matter as well as some of its subsequent result.

Basically, it is the modern world itself that provide the perfect condition for young people to rise. Apparently, kids nowadays are exposed to technology as well as all mod cons at an early age, explaining their ability to catch up with the world and lead every trend. In other words, youngsters are smarter and more adaptable than any previous generation thus obtaining social status early is of mere simplicity. What is more, middle-aged and old pepple are beginnning to realize the importance of young people in society. They are the one who bring the wind of refreshments, known as dynamic and creative notions, that contributes considerably to the community. This implies their acquiring more respect and higher chance of promotion in the future.

Much as young generation are getting over the shadow of their predecessor, they alos bring about noticeably negative effect on life, especially the relationship between them and their previous generation. To be precise, young people are now busily indulging in making money and power out of the time they spend taking care for parents. Thus, they have naturally created an invisible gap between themselves and their father/mother. It has been noted that more and more children, mostly in developing countries, abandon their parents by studying abroad and then choosing to work there with non-break schedule. As a matter of fact, there has been an increasing number of elderly who either live alone or depend on civil services. Gone are the time when there was still cozy atmosphere of family gatherings.

In addiction to the blood-shared gap, the same is happening in many companies. As mentioned before, young people are gaining more respect and priviledge from employers and bosses, which probably causes certain unfairness. Old, experienced workers are disregarded and thrown away as trash while young, dynamic yet inexperienced ones are warmly welcomed. Their enterprise in association with their fearlessness of risk has totally outweigh the concept of safety and monotony of older people. That is the reason why some people can not get on well with the elderly when it comes to plan proposal or more commonly: promotion.

On balance, it is a foreseeable future that young people will continue to be domineering so far as power and social position is to be concerned. Nevertheless, it is vital for those people to take into account the indispensable role of older generation who brought them up from the very start, so that they can minimize the gap, which is on the edge of widening.

Please review my essay and feel free to leave any comment. I would be very grateful for your help! Thanks a lot.

Writing Feedback / Should children start learning foreign language as soon as they start school [3]

There has been a controversial issue ever since foreign language has been phased in education as a main subject, over whether or not we should educate children foreign language at an early age. In my opinion, it will be of great importance to study a non-native language as soon as we go to school.

First of all, foreign language is on the demand for globalisation. The ever-growing world nowadays goes hand in hand with the fact that more countries are shacking hands thus a common language is to be needed. More and more international companies are settling down all over the world to expand their chain of production. That means any competent candidate who knows foreign language will stand greater chances of enrolling in such firms as well as of promotion. That is to say, learning a foreign language at an early age will help us, not only intergrate with the modern world, but also pave a pathway to brighter future.

Secondly, when saying of learning foreign language, we can not help mentioning the importance of it in broadening our knowledge. Language is the bridge to a nation's culture. By learning language, we are provided with the tool to get access to a whole new world of horizon. Not to mention the fact that, we must have initially perfected our native language to grasp this new layer of understanding, which is to say, will assure a firm base.

Lastly, biologically speaking, it's blatant that kids, at an early age, will be more curious and that puts them at their own advantage. The reason adult find it difficult to engage themselves to a new language, and new stuff in general, is they lack of curiosity and creativity. By hanging around with family, career or other responsibility, people just create an invisible barier which prevents them from digging deeper into something else. They technically devoid of interest as well as excitement in learning, while kids, with their vivid imagination, will aspire to learning the new language with various different ways. They normally do not hesitate to try speaking foreign language because they have no concept of embarassment or fear of failure which will develop their skills more rapidly and naturally.

In a nutshell, learning a non-native language, at this day and age, will do nothing but good for children. With the above reason, parents should bring their children to any school that provides bilingual study to exploit the best out of the kids' potential.