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Posts by trantrunghieu
Name: Hieu Tran
Joined: Aug 10, 2014
Last Post: Aug 10, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam
School: FTU2

Displayed posts: 5
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trantrunghieu   
Aug 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Gender distribution of teachers in different educational institutions [6]

The bar chart illustrates the gender distribution of teachers in different educational institutions from nursery school to university in UK in 2010. It shows what percentage of teachers were male and what percentage of teachers were female.

It is clear from the chart that male teachers held a large share of teaching posts in higher-level institutions whereas female teachers predominated in schools for children. In the institutions for older children and young adults, this rates were more equal.

In nursery and primary school, the proportion of women teachers was over 90 per cent, the figures for man teachers in this two educational settings were very low, just under 10 per cent. In university, there were twice as many male teachers as female teachers.

The number of males and females were the same in college, 50 per cent. There were gender gaps in secondary school and private training institute but they were slightly small, fluctuated around 5 per cent for both of mentioned institutions.



  • Subject
trantrunghieu   
Aug 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: to be an expert in one field is not better than to have broad knowledge of many subjects [3]

In 2008, the financial crisis made her boss decide to cut off employees

I think it's better if we use " In 2008, the financial crisis led to large-scale redundancies in her company"
The verb: "dimiss" here should not be used because it has negative meaning.

Some of my sister's friends were dismissed, even though they are experts of computer or mathematics. Fortunately, Jane did not be dismissed

: some of my sister's friends had to leave their job, even though they are computer and mathematics expertise. Fortunately, Jane was not affected by the company's lay-off, she could keep her job.
trantrunghieu   
Aug 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS : Lately more and more work has to be done by machines. [3]

workers health

workers' health.

Lastly, this technology encourages people to learn new skills and enforce societies to educate rather being stuck for lifetime of unskilled job.

I don't think people can learn more skills when the teachology appears. I think we should emphasize the computer skills, how to operate a complicated machine.

Overall: Your essay is good.
trantrunghieu   
Aug 10, 2014
Writing Feedback / Not only governments and big companies are responsible for environment but also the whole community [2]

Individual can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that the responsibility for improving in environment constitutes the governments' and big companies'. In my opinion, I disagree with this perspective because, there are enormous ways which can be done by each individual to make our surrounding environment become better and heathier.

It is undeniable that governments and some large companies play an important role in ensuring that our environment is protected and gradually improved. They are those who have specialized equipment, modern technology, professional environmentalists and certainly that with all of above resources, they can tackle the environmental issues easily and effectively. In addition to this, the government implements institution and law to make sure that all activities must comply with the environmental standards. For example, fishermen must not use mines to catch fishes which consequently to the detriment of aquatic ecosystems.

However, it is implausible to say that each person cannot contribute to environment. Each one has their own way to preserve and improve environment like classifying household waste, using environmental friendly products, etc... Although one's action is not as large-scale as governments and organizations, when everyone do it together, it absolutely has significant impacts. In fact, there are many non-government organizations and groups activating in the field of environment. Perhaps, their members are those who are fascinating in protesting and maintaining environment and this is the chance for every people to take part in.

In conclusion, the environmental awareness of individual is the solid foundation to have good environment. In case our environment has been polluted by human activities, the responsibility to improve it is not only for governments and big companies but it is the whole community's.

272 words.